WrestleMania 39 predictions: Night one

WrestleMania 39 is taking place this weekend with two separate nights of action, on Sat. Apr. 1 and Sun. Apr. 2, 2023. The show will air live from SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California. It begins at 7:00 pm ET with the Kickoff show leading right on into the main course at 8 pm ET on Peacock in the U.S., WWE Network everywhere else, or your local cable pay-per-view provider.

Luckily for you Cagesiders, our staff of learned wrestling blowhards is here to help figure out just how the event is going to play out with predictions for each match on the card.

Let’s get to it.

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WrestleMania 39 predictions

United States Championship: Austin Theory (c) vs. John Cena

Geno Mrosko: They keep pushing the idea of doing surprises on this show and I think they’ll open the entire event with something few likely expect — John Cena winning another championship in WWE. Pick: John Cena

Sean Rueter: Cain could be on to something in his pick, but Theory has to win to make up for the verbal ass-whoopin’ he took in their only face-to-face, right? If there’d been a more even promo exchange, a quick reign would work. But seeing as he couldn’t free himself for even one more appearance on the road to ‘Mania, he should do the job tonight. Pick: Austin Theory

Kyle Decker: John Cena is way too busy to stick around to defend the US title. Hell, he only could be on one show to build the match. While I question whether Theory winning is actually going to help him after that Cena promo, there’s little question to the finish. Pick: Austin Theory

Claire Elizabeth: I would once again like to apologize for not being meaner to Austin Theory in my Evolve recaps. None of this had to happen this way. Anyway, I’m thinking the story here is he gets taken down a peg but squeaks out holding the title with a dirty finish. DQ? Countout? I’m going with “ref bump cheap shot” but it all fits. Cain’s idea is better though. Pick: Austin Theory

Cain A. Knight: Cena wins the title from this dweeb and then issues an open challenge before dropping the belt to someone else. That will make for two memorable WrestleMania moments within minutes of each other. Pick: John Cena

Marcus Benjamin: WWE showed their hand with this one early: If Theory wins, he loses. And if he loses, he loses. Heads, Cena wins, tails, Cena wins. And the fact these two never got back into the ring together after that initial promo. And saying that in Cena’s favor is such an understatement. Cena winning makes Theory look like a chump, and him winning doesn’t really help him either. I flipped a coin. Pick: John Cena

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SmackDown Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Rhea Ripley

Geno Mrosko: Rhea Ripley has been a top star in the making in the women’s division for years now. I can’t see a lot of justifications for not giving her the title here. You don’t take your top star in the making, give her a Royal Rumble win from the number one spot, and then have her lose at WrestleMania. Pick: Rhea Ripley

Sean Rueter: [Vince McMahon is running creative intensifies] Pick: Charlotte Flair

Kyle Decker: It’s very tough to bet against Charlotte Flair. She’s won matches that I thought there was no chance she was winning. Last year at WrestleMania was one of them. But I don’t think Rhea could take this L without severely damaging all the good they’ve done with her this last year. Pick: Rhea Ripley

Claire Elizabeth: Yeah, this whole build has been about how Rhea needs this win to make it to the top of the mountain. Now WWE have never been shy about yanking the football out from under somebody but they’ve been pretty well behind her and I’m not gonna be pessimistic here. Pick: Rhea Ripley

Cain A. Knight: It will be a mind-blowing booking gaffe if Charlotte Flair somehow wins this match. Pick: Rhea Ripley

Marcus Benjamin: All the momentum is on Rhea Ripley’s side at the moment. Charlotte Flair wants to beat Rhea while Rhea needs to beat Charlotte. I’ll take a need over a want everyday of the week. Pick: Rhea Ripley

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WWE Undisputed Tag Team Championship: The Usos (c) vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

Geno Mrosko: I don’t mind being predictable with this one because everything has built to The Bloodline losing everything on this show and I choose to believe Triple H is still in charge enough to see his vision through. Or at least I think it’s the vision. Pick: Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

Sean Rueter: A stronger person might be able to, but I’m not even entertaining other possibilities. Pick: Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens

Kyle Decker: This story absolutely dictates that the Usos lose to Sami & Kevin. The Bloodline breaks over the weekend, losing their gold. This loss would really start the story of Jey’s issues with Roman, which could be the real beginning of the end of the Bloodline.

Claire Elizabeth: Kev and Sami are family, not by an accident of birth, but by choice and sweat and shared experience. Their bond wavered, but it didn’t crack, and the Usos aren’t close enough to being on the same page to match that right now. Pick: Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

Cain A. Knight: The Usos’ record-setting championship reign has to end here in order to plant the seed that The Bloodline can be completely toppled if the Tribal Chief also fails against Cody Rhodes. Pick: Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens

Marcus Benjamin: Sami & Kevin. Not even wasting the word count or thought process on this one. Pick: Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens

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Trish Stratus & Lita & Becky Lynch vs. Damage CTRL

Geno Mrosko: Hey, why not do a big heel turn at the biggest show of the year? I’m thinking Trish turns on Lita and Becky to cost her squad the victory. Pick: Damage CTRL

Sean Rueter: Yeah, sign me up for the Trish heel turn theory. Bayley & company need a shining moment on a big stage. The other three have plenty (including Lita’s current Tag title run, and if the theory is correct, a big WrestleMania moment to kick off a summer-long dream feud for Bex & Trish). Pick: Damage CTRL

Kyle Decker: This is a match designed to get the legends the win. Pick: Trish, Lita, & Becky

Claire Elizabeth: Yep, legends over, babyfaces stand tall, Damage CTRL will probably be allowed some heat back by getting another crack at the tag titles soon enough but this ain’t their night. Pick: Becky Lynch, Lita, & Trish Stratus

Cain A. Knight: Damage CTRL usually loses when it counts the most, so they might as well do the job one more time. Pick: Becky Lynch, Lita, Trish Stratus

Marcus Benjamin: I’m going against the grain here. No, I’m not picking against Trish, Lita, & Becky, I am picking something nefarious post-match as it relates to Trish. Pick: Becky Lynch, Lita, & Trish Stratus

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Seth Rollins vs. Logan Paul

Geno Mrosko: I would have thought this could go either way until Rollins cut that promo on Raw this week giving this match some real stakes. He can’t lose here, because if he does then he’s a joke and I just can’t seem them going that direction with his character right now. Pick: Seth Rollins

Sean Rueter: Nothing has changed for me since I tweeted this the night of Elimination Chamber: “very ready to root for S.F. Rollins to give NFT boy his first loss at rasslemania”. Wish I felt as strongly about the outcome as I do my rooting interest, but I’m sticking with it. Pick: Seth Rollins

Kyle Decker: This really shouldn’t be a toss up, but it is. Sure, the full time guy should win the match, and Seth is super over (even if I think his current character is actually rough). But there’s a legit argument to give Logan the win here since they clearly like him and want to keep him established. I think Rollins gets the win because Logan had been getting the best of him, but it could go either way. Pick: Seth Rollins

Claire Elizabeth: All it takes is one lucky p— nope, can’t do it, Rollins should hit this guy with the whole arsenal— buckle bombs, ripcord knees, Pedigrees, Blackouts (lord what I would give for commentary to stop calling it “the stomp”), dare I dream he may even bust out the likes of Paroxysm and God’s Last Gift once again? Pick: Seth Rollins

Cain A. Knight: I assume that Logan has gotten the upper hand on Seth time after time because the YouTube scumbag is getting his comeuppance at WrestleMania. Pick: Seth Rollins

Marcus Benjamin: While the match won’t prove Seth’s point that Logan Paul is an interloper out of his element, it will prove Logan can’t compete with Seth. Logan is the heel here, Seth is the face. Logan hurt Seth’s main event chances and Seth wants revenge. Simple story with a simple solution. Pick: Seth Rollins

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Rey Mysterio vs. Dominik Mysterio

Geno Mrosko: If this is really about putting over Dominik, what better way to do that then to give him the big win in the first match at WrestleMania and let dad get one back at Backlash? This is the one folks will remember. Pick: Dominik Mysterio

Sean Rueter: Sincerely doubt this is a one match feud, so I could see either outcome here. But ‘Mania is often a babyface show, so let’s go with dad. Pick: Rey Mysterio

Kyle Decker: Unless Rey is retiring, and there’s no evidence he is, he needs to win here. Dom has been a fantastic little shit this last six months and deserves his comeuppance. Pick: Rey Mysterio

Claire Elizabeth: Dom is a sniveling little shit and daddy’s home to give him what he deserves. The only question is whether it’ll straighten him out or if he’ll see his shadow and give us six more weeks of disrespect. Pick: Rey Mysterio

Cain A. Knight: I bet that Rey is pushing hard to put over his little shithead son at WrestleMania. But Rey isn’t the one who is booking the show. Pick: Rey Mysterio

Marcus Benjamin: Oh come on now. Rey Mysterio gets the W here. And Dom will look like a king in defeat. Pick: Rey Mysterio

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Fatal 4-Way: Braun Strowman & Ricochet vs. Street Profits vs. Viking Raiders vs. Alpha Academy

Geno Mrosko: This might as well act as a top contender match. To that end, there aren’t many options! It’s hard to imagine Strowman & Ricochet sticking for much longer, Alpha Academy is a comedy act that might also be breaking up soon, and the Street Profits are perennial contenders. Process of elimination wins. Pick: The Viking Raiders

Sean Rueter: Montez Ford will get a big spot designed to go viral, Maxxine Dupri will be her usual awesome self when she does whatever she does with Otìsè that costs the Alphas, and the Raiders will do something guys their size shouldn’t be able to do. But the odd couple team’s growing on me, and WWE loves to give old Big Strong McGirthyPants meaningless WWE’s on big stages. Pick: Braun Strowman & Ricochet

Kyle Decker: I think the Viking Raiders would make sense as first challengers for Sami & Kevin. They’re tough heels that pose a good challenge. They can win here to set that up. Pick: The Viking Raiders

Claire Elizabeth: I like Braun and Ricochet as a weird little “one’s big one’s small but they’re both bald and beardy” team, let’s go with them. Braun Strowman & Ricochet

Cain A. Knight: The Street Profits sure could use a big win, but things just don’t often work out their way. Pick: Viking Raiders

Marcus Benjamin: Alpha Academy is probably breaking up soon, Street Profits are in that weird limbo, and Braun & Ricochet...well, they’re Braun & Ricochet. That leaves the Viking Raiders as the only team who truly needs this win and will do something with it going forward. Pick: Viking Raiders

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That’s how we see the card playing out.

You?