I wanted to close out the weekend by getting all articulate and waxing poetic on everything we just witnessed over the past few days but sitting here writing this, I realize I’m not going to be able to do that. I’m just going to let this flow, so forgive any run-on sentences, or grammatical errors, or general sloppiness.
I’m just happy, man.
I haven’t been able to stop smiling since Friday.
That started with the Hall of Fame ceremony, where The Undertaker got a standing ovation that felt like a super powerful moment as everyone showed their appreciation for his legendary career:
It continued right on into WrestleMania Saturday, where I got to watch a lot of great wrestling — like Bianca Belair and Becky Lynch tearing down the house, Cody Rhodes returning and having a banger of a match with Seth Rollins, and even Logan Paul impressing — before going back in time to my childhood in 1998 and watching none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin lace up the boots one more time for a match with Kevin Owens.
Sure, he didn’t move the way he used to, and the match wasn’t what a 1998 version of Austin would have given us, but I was grinning like a complete fool for every punch, every kick, every time he stomped a mudhole, every time he walked it dry, all of it. And then he hit the Stunner and he pinned Owens in the middle of the ring and celebrated guzzling those beers after a cheers and my grin somehow grew wider.
It felt like being a kid again.
It felt happy.
It continued right on into WrestleMania Sunday, where RK-Bro gave us a couple awesome RKO’s, Weeman slammed Sami Zayn and had me jumping out of my seat, Sasha Banks finally won a match at WrestleMania. Then Pat McAfee did the damn thing against Austin Theory before taking a loss to Vince McMahon that kind of pissed me off but was ultimately a set up to let me travel right back to my childhood once more.
The sight of McMahon gloating in the ring was only sickening for as long as it took for that glass to shatter and the “Texas Rattlesnake” to make his way back out, because even my younger self knew how this was going to play out and that damn grin somehow came back even wider than before. My face hurt, man. But I didn’t care.
Because Stone Cold Steve Austin was back out there with Vince McMahon, giving him a beer, making him think it was all good, and getting a Stunner anyway. I laughed my damn ass off when McMahon went bouncing all around and took the worst Stunner I’ve ever seen in my life, and I’ve seen a lot of Stunners. I laughed the way Austin got up and laughed, cause it was funny as hell, and holy shit I was having a damn good time, the best time I’ve had with WWE in a long time.
And then Pat McAfee got in the ring to have some beers with Austin, and wouldn’t you know it, my goofy ass grin somehow got even bigger. My damn jaw felt like it was going to dislocate but that was fine because I was getting to see some good ol DTA in action in the year of our lord 2022.
McAfee sold that Stunner like crazy:
And then he showed us once again why he rules so hard when he did this bit:
Win or lose.. Still booze #WrestleMania #WrestleMania38 pic.twitter.com/UFf8cmd8fd
— WrestleMania Pat McAfee (@PatMcAfeeShow) April 4, 2022
They closed the event with a big fight feel type of match that saw Roman Reigns unify the WWE and Universal titles by beating Brock Lesnar, and I loved that too. It felt big.
It was fun. The entire event was fun. It had a hiccup here and there, sure, and I’m tired as hell, but WWE knocked it out of the park with this one.
I’m getting out of here now, off to get some sleep.
I wonder when this smile will go away.
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