We like to have fun here at Cageside Seats. That includes delivering urgent John Cena hair updates every so often, paying tribute to Bobby Lashley’s incredible ass, analyzing Edge’s once-in-a-lifetime cockpit performance in Money Plane, and citing The Blade as the key ingredient to AEW’s recent ratings and viewership increase.
Speaking for myself, however, there is one recurring topic that I write about in complete seriousness every single time: SLAPJACK is arguably the greatest wrestler in WWE history.
How can anybody watch him and Lashley battle it out in the greatest match in the history of our sport last year and come to any other conclusion? Kenny Omega and Bryan Danielson needed 30 minutes to put on a supposed “dream match” on Dynamite this week. What’s so impressive about that? SLAPJACK and Bob are so skilled that they didn’t even need four minutes to easily surpass that level last year at Hell in a Cell.
SLAPJACK hasn’t been seen on WWE television since the SmackDown edition of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal in early April this year. Rumor has it that he’s been spotted in the wild in an occasional dark match against a Bearcat and a Dollar Store Super Shredder over the last few months. Naturally, there has also been some speculation that WWE is holding him off television because they don’t want to overexpose and risk injury to the obvious main event star of WrestleMania 38.
One more theory about SLAPJACK’s whereabouts can now be added to the list, because T-BAR knows what’s up with his former RETRIBUTION stablemate. T-BAR explains that this legendary figure has likely returned to his home planet:
One year ago today the world was introduced to the greatest performer in the history of @WWE, Slapjack. We haven’t seen him since Wrestlemania, so it is assumed that he went back to his home planet.— Tag Team Titles-BAR (@TBARRetribution) September 21, 2021
Legends only. pic.twitter.com/XHln1Mbzlu
It’s a good theory, but the biggest takeaway here is that that T-BAR rightfully acknowledges SLAPJACK as the greatest performer in WWE history.
Please join us in acknowledging SLAPJACK in the comments below, Cagesiders.
(Note: We aren’t actually joking when we cite The Blade as the biggest needle-mover in AEW, of course. The statement I wrote about him at the top of this post was just a simple test to see if you were carefully reading this article for factual inaccuracies. The Blade and Hook are clearly moving numbers at unprecedented rates for AEW, with no end in sight.)