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One of wrestling’s greatest cold cases is five years old

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We’re observing Independence Day (you call it whatever you want, Renee!) here in the United States this weekend, which means it’s the anniversary of one of pro wrestling sports entertainment’s greatest mysteries.

Back in 2016, the Fourth of July fell on a Monday, and Raw threw a backstage barbecue to celebrate our nation’s birthday. As gatherings involving wrestlers and eating must*, it devolved into a food fight.

And it ended on a cliffhanger, when Kevin Owens was pied in the face. To that point, KO had remained clean. He hid under a table like a smart Canadian while his fellow North Americans got messy. There was a whole investigation!

After you’re done marveling over how roughly 80% of the people in those videos are no longer with WWE, and how half of those are now in AEW, allow us to remind you that neither Mrs. Moxley’s investigative journalism nor Owens’ quest for justice ever revealed the culprit. They also never figured out where WWE got the technology that allows them to film through someone’s eyes, but that’s a different case for a different day.

What we know is this: The unsolved mystery of “who pied Kevin Owens?” remains at the fringes of wrestling lore... because enough wrestling fans think it’s funny (see also: insisting Sami Zayn and El Generico are two different people, John Cena invisibility jokes).

I am one of those fans, and I’m lucky enough to have a job blogging about pro wrestling. The blog I write for needed content on a slow holiday afternoon.

This was my story.

* I’m pretty sure it’s in the Declaration of Independence that was signed 245 years ago yesterday. Maybe it’s in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. But I’m 99% sure it’s the law. The Supreme Court upheld it and everything, I think.