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It’s a doll’s world. We’re just living in it.

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Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler

Shayna Baszler lost her women’s tag team championship belt, aka the only thing holding back her fury. She has had to deal with a sugar baby sommelier AND a possessed doll, and, frankly, it’s time someone pays for all her suffering.

Sadly, it’s us. We’re the ones who have to pay for her suffering at Hell in a Cell.

The Road to Hell in a Cell

Alexa Bliss and her totally not scary at all doll, Lilly, decided to focus their occult energies on Reginald, the totally not actually a sommelier that imprinted on Nia Jax. Shayna Baszler was by and large fine with this because she didn’t care about Reginald’s safety at all. That is until Lilly’s magical shenanigans distracted Reginald and Nia so much that they cost Shayna Baszler the women’s tag team titles. Or at least that’s how Shayna saw it.

Not one to lie around and wallow, Shayna interrupted Reginald’s visit to Alexa’s Playground and confronted both of her problems head-on. It went exactly the way you are imagining. That is to say, not well.

Shayna told Alexa that she wasn’t afraid of her stupid doll and, in doing so, made a small, stuffed enemy. On the following Raw, Shayna took it a step further (literally) when she attempted to destroy Lilly by stepping on her little doll face. Of course, if you’ve seen any doll-related horror films, then you know it takes a lot more than a combat boot to the skull to kill a petrifying plaything.

After what was one of the worst “horror” segments in WWE history, Lilly was put into a timeout, and Shayna vs. Alexa was set for Hell in a Cell.

What’s at stake?

Everyone’s dignity? Yes, I’m serious. On the one hand, you have Shayna Baszler, the tough MMA alum who will take on anyone fighting a literal doll. On the other, you have Alexa Bliss, former Raw women’s champion and formidable wrestler constantly attempting to put over a literal doll. To add insult to injury, IT’S NOT EVEN A SCARY DOLL!

This occult storyline is well and truly awful and doubly sucks because Alexa is acting her face-off, and given any other occult storyline, I think she could be quite scary. But if we view her as the “new” Bray Wyatt (after all, she did dethrone him at WrestleMania), I suppose it makes sense that even the high quality of her performance cannot save us from nonsensical writing.

In a perfect world, Shayna Baszler wins, slays Lilly the doll, and frees Alexa from this nightmare. But it’s not a perfect world; it’s WWE Raw, which means total badass Shayna Baszler is getting pinned by a doll, and Alexa will be left to try and spin some gold from this “good sh*t.”


Shayna Baszler will battle the force of darkness that is Alexa Bliss and her weird doll friend exclusively on Peacock. Be sure to check back in at CagesideSeats.com for all of your PPV coverage!

Poll

Who will win?

This poll is closed

  • 85%
    Alexa Bliss
    (296 votes)
  • 14%
    Shayna Baszler
    (50 votes)
346 votes total Vote Now