Are you kidding me?
Last Monday on Raw, the new faction wreaking havoc was shown in security camera footage throwing a molotov cocktail at the PC’s electrical system. WWE gave them a full spread on the website, and said they were coming. They told us the group was coming.
On this show, they came. And if it doesn’t remind you of certain happenings going on in the country, allow me to take you through it.
Vince McMahon has created an anti-fascist like group at a time when protests around the United States are being labeled as riots by an affiliate network to FOX. They are showing us everything Fox News viewers fear when they hear the lies by every pundit: kids spray painting and carrying weapons, causing anarchy and lawlessness. It’s the only thing they care about, not about actual change or fairness.
This is what Retribution is. We don’t know why they are here, what they want, or anything about them. But just like when Erik Rowan was attempting to murder Roman Reigns with a car, it’s hard to suspend disbelief when it’s the actual company telling us and showing us things as if they have a direct connection to the assailants. Let me tell ya, a group of people try to attack my power generator and I’m not making anyone come to work until these people are found and dealt with. In WWE, the show must go on!
How does anyone show up to work on Monday? Masked men, and women as we saw tonight, are beating people up and messing with electrical equipment. I thought this was going to be a fun angle, but I’ve totally turned on it. I don’t know what it will take to turn me back.
There are better ways to debut an angry group that wants to cause chaos. This ain’t it.
Miz and Morrison are terrible
I’ve had it with Miz and Morrison segments.
I could not care less about the dopey shit that they write for Miz TV and the DIrt Sheet shows. Stop it.
Sonya Deville was the guest and said she doesn’t understand why everyone is so confused because she said she was going to make Mandy’s outside as ugly as her inside, and when she says she’s gonna do something, she does it. She says she would apologize, but she just doesn’t feel bad at all, and she has literally no respect for Mandy anymore. Miz and Morrison continued to make fun of Mandy and finally, Heavy Machinery came out to shut them up. Took a while there, boys!
So they had a match and it was fine, but the more interesting part was Mandy coming out and attacking Sonya which led to a pull apart brawl. I’m sorry but Miz and Morrison have become an official tune out for me. I’m so beyond done with them together.
I like where we’re going with Mandy and Snoya. The cutting of Mandy’s hair made me wonder if we will see a hair vs. hair match between them. If they had kept continuing the feud immediately I think I would have grown tired of it by now, but because they took time off, it feels much more fresh. Just have Sonya doing the most evil things and I’m a happy guy.
Who’s the real monster now?
The Fiend showed up with a full entrance on this show, which has been dearly missed.
He had Alexa in the ring, and she was… kind of scared but like, drawn into the Fiend’s eyes a bit? A little Stockholm Syndrome there, Lexi? Anyway, Braun appeared via satellite from I guess the organic swamp, but it wasn’t clear.
He said that he doesn’t give a damn about Alexa, and all he cares about is destroying the Fiend. He knew there were only two ways to come out of the swamp, as either the most evil son of a bitch anybody’s laid eyes on, or a man with the satisfaction of spitting in the devil’s face and laughing at him. He challenged the Fiend to a match at SummerSlam.
Okay, so we got a bit of a heel Braun here, didn’t we? Not caring for Alexa’s well being is just cruel. He sounded more sinister, but that just led to me not really understanding half of what he was saying. Gosh does Braun have a deep raspy voice.
Like I said last week, this was the next logical step, so I’m in. Again, please don’t let Goldberg know when the Fiend wins again, please.
The Rest
Stephanie McMahon’s edict - Stephanie asked for Sasha and Bayley to come to the ring for a conference. She put over their dominance and finding a way around her stipulation for the Raw women’s title match. She said she doesn’t hold a grudge (yeah, right) and announced a three brand battle royal to get a #1 contender for Bayley at SummerSlam. Sasha and Bayley did their best shilling to get on her good side. This was a better usage of Stephanie McMahon as of late.
Big E has the ball - E said he’s poured boxes of cereal over adults and kids, he’s been an entertainer, and now he gets to answer what could have been if they passed him the ball. The support from the WWE Universe, and Kofi and Woods could be perceived as a weight, but they don’t hold him down, they lift him up.
This was a really nice Big E promo to establish his singles run for a bit. I could listen to him talk for hours. No Intercontinental title set up or anything notable yet, and we have two weeks to SummerSlam so let’s get to it, WWE!
Matt Riddle def. Sheamus via DQ - Riddle and Sheamus were a lot of fun. A power guy and a mat wrestler together makes for some good moments. Riddle will a great overhead suplex, Sheamus hit White Noise and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. But it goes to a DQ as Gable attacked Riddle for Corbin. Riddle got the upperhand, and then Sheamus Brogue Kicked Gable.
After the match, Sheamus caught Corbin backstage and threatened to kick his head off his shoulders and stick his crown up his royal ass if he interferes with one of his matches again ….babyface Sheamus after that brutal Jeff Hardy feud? I don’t know about that.
Cesaro def. Lince Dorado - This was a fast paced match with a lot of high flying spots from Lince. Absolutely no wasted motion as he went for two moonsaults back to back but got distracted by Shinsuke and Cesaro took advantage. Cesaro does really well with smaller lucha guys. Lince is really good as a singles guy and I really enjoyed this match. It was too short for my liking. Awesome.
Jeff Hardy def. King Corbin via DQ - Does that sound familiar? There were a couple of cool spots where Corbin sold a beating on the outside well and Jeff scouted Corbin well to avoid his move where he dives to the outside and comes back for a clothesline. Sheamus caused the DQ so Corbin lost.
Sheamus def. King Corbin - We saw both of these men multiple times throughout this show, so let’s give them a match! It was quick and I was expecting Corbin to win, so it was a nice surprise to not see him win. Then Matt Riddle came out and helped Sheamus win. Babyface Sheamus. Meh.
RandyOrtonStupid.gif. Very few parts of SmackDown tonight put a smile on my face. Cesaro and Lince Dorado was the best part of this show, and one of the only non-screwy finish matches in two hours. Sonya had the best talking segment. SmackDown isn’t looking too great on the road to SummerSlam.
Grade: C-
What were your thoughts, Cagesiders?