I was really into the Sheamus/Jeff Hardy angle when Sheamus was berating Michael Cole weekly during Jeff’s comeback videos.
Now? This is ridiculous.
It’s sad that WWE thinks we are that dumb. So, we are to believe that Jeff will have been arrested, but the real culprit, a man with red hair and red colored beard according to witnesses at the scene, won’t be for the very real crimes of fleeing the scene of an accident and framing someone else for it?
This is the “who attempted to murder Roman Reigns angle” all over again. I’ll watch Live PD if I want police action. I’ll watch Law & Order: SVU for a much better acted drama.
It’s plain stupid, and insulting to us the viewers and to Jeff’s recovery. Even if Jeff is okay with this angle, it shouldn’t be done. There’s no reason to shine the light on this very real topic so heavily. It’s not like his last incident was years ago. It was just 8 months! The comeback videos were enough. Let Jeff fight his personal battles without having it shoved in his face.
Hey hey! Ho ho! This is really dumb
The best part about this whole thing was the end. The rest of it was just… ugh.
Remember that a Universal title match is coming out of this booking. Miz overacted and Braun underacted, because both of them are great at it. Miz’s acting here made me feel stupid for watching. This is a grown adult who thinks an exploding protein shake is the funniest damn thing on the planet. An exploding protein shake is Dave Chappelle level of comedy to Miz.
It’s really Dane Cook level.
Morrison was better in these segments. He didn’t overact, but didn’t underact either. He does look like a dork for going along with Miz. These segments actually made me hope the SmackDown hacker is breaking them up so Morison can be competing for the Intercontinental title and away from this goofy goober.
And Braun? Woof. Acting just ain’t your thing, dude. And it’s more on WWE for making him do these ridiculous segments. Braun is best in two modes - anger and destruction. Mixed with each other gives us the fantastic “I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!” Braun circa 2017. The Universal title is a joke and on a man who looks lost when trying to console someone who took a DeLorean to Nickelodeon studios in 2000 and got slimed on Slime Time Live. Kayla’s a trooper for that, by the way.
Don’t get me wrong here. I actually do like segments that aren’t wrestling based on wrestling shows. I just ask for decent quality. This was not that.
So Braun found out they were in a white van and flipped it over. That made this worth it.
The Rest
Bayley and Sasha Banks def. Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross - BAYLEY 2 BELTS! I’m going to be up front here. I totally forgot this was a title match! I’ve loved Alexa and Nikki as of late, on both shows. The finish of this was incredible and told even more of a story. Banks hit the Bank Statement on Nikki but Bayley tagged herself in and pushed Sasha out of the way but couldn’t quite get the job done. Sasha actually saved her, and I did not think she was. I thought the turn was coming, but she saved Bayley, and won it! Bayley screamed at Cole “IT’S SO HEAVY! I GOT SO MUCH GOLD!” and I… LAUGHED *wink* because I LAUGH at things that are funny.
This is going to be exciting! Sasha was visibly upset at Bayley, but saved her anyway. I thought the turn was coming and didn’t get why, but then after thinking about it, it’s because Sasha wants gold. That makes sense! She may know her relationship with her bestie is teetering but she’s a wrestler with her eyes on the prize and it was so much smarter of her to do that. Backlash is right around the corner, and the IIconics have been wanting to get another shot. Also remember, the IIconics won the titles from Sasha and Bayley! Alexa and Nikki will want a rematch. Layers upon layers of storytelling here!
Daniel Bryan is all heart - When you need a segment to bring a positive mood back, you ask Daniel Bryan to talk. Bryan is so damn good at saying why something is important and getting us to believe it. He wants to make the Intercontinental title, WWE superstars, AND himself better each week. Styles is the perfect cowardly heel foil, too. And what a pleasant surprise that Styles allowed to give Gulak a handout after a great promo segment!
Drew Gulak def. AJ Styles - Styles backed Gulak into the corner and struck him with chops. Gulak hit a “Michinoku driver” and it looked like it was over but AJ just got out of it. I did not expect Drew to counter a Styles clash but he did and won!
A little odd to have Styles lose a match when he’s facing Bryan next week for the IC title. I wonder if somehow that match becomes a triple threat. That would be a hoot!
New Day and Chad Gable def. Mojo Rawley, Cesaro, and Shinsuke Nakamura - To set this up, Gable was backstage and Mojo came up to him and did the short jokes. Fart noise. The two men who follow anyone while Sami is out then attacked Gable, but New Day made the save.
They worked on Kofi real hard in this one. Gable was really fun with New Day. Gable’s flying headscissor is wonderful. If they ease up on the short stuff, which they won’t but I’ll have to put up with it, him and Mojo could have a fun feud. Gable hit a moonsault and an ankle lock, but Nakamura broke it up. Evil Cesaro hit an uppercut while the ref wasn’t looking but Gable kicked out. Big E got the win for this team. Really fun match and maybe, just maybe, The Artists decide they want to be an actual tag team and want a tag match for the titles? Please?
Lacey Evans def. Sonya Deville - Sonya blindsided Lacey before the break and that added the sweet viciousness this second match needed. Sonya pulled Lacey’s hair and Lacey fired back with stiff knees to Sonya’s face. Lacey’s running knee looked nasty, nasties. Sonya hit an even nastier whiplash. Mandy appeared and distracted Sonya, and Lacey took advantage of it with a Women’s Right. I didn’t agree with this finish.
Two weeks in a row a heel gets distracted and loses. I don’t really know what the point of the ref injury part of this match was for. It didn’t need weird shenanigans for Sonya to take advantage. For decades WWE has gone to commercial with one wrestler dominating another. I didn’t think we were going to get Mandy involved so quickly, and I don’t really know how I feel yet. I’d have liked Sonya to win here but of course we can’t have someone booked too strong, right?
Otis def. Baron Corbin via DQ - Baron Corbin is an even worse actor than Braun. Goodness gracious, man. His crown is more important to him than anything, and he can’t even relay it in a believable fashion. His spinebuster is great. The End of Days is great. Everything else is usually bad. The DQ was unnecessary. Otis came out on top after Corbin DQ’ed, so Corbin looks worse for no reason. I don’t get it. Can someone figure it out for me?
The first hour of SmackDown was a big pile of blah. Once Bryan spoke, the show picked up and ended really hot. I’m most excited to see where the women’s tag titles go. Will Sasha and Bayley show up on Raw to confront the IIconics? Will we get a real triple threat at Backlash?
The men’s tag titles scene is floundering as well. The Artists should be itching to grab them. Miz and Morrison are busy, Jimmy Uso is hurt, Forgotten Sons… we won’t get into that. But Lucha House Party anyone? There’s three teams we can see have fun and be entertaining. The only title that gets attention is the WWE title on Raw and now the United States title on Raw, the IC title on SmackDown and the women’s tag titles on both shows.
Let’s get creative, WWE!
Grade: C+
What were your thoughts, Cagesiders?