They got this out of the way early, so I will too.
I started to chuckle as Sheamus walked down the ramp with a doctor and security holding some sort of barrier. The small smile that formed quickly went away.
The rumor mill got this one right. Sheamus wanted a piss test before he signed a contract for the match at Backlash.
Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff Hardy is a pisser. That jar was FULL. He should be drinking a bit more water during the day.
After Sheamus got pissy, he got pissed on. Maybe he shouldn’t have such a potty mouth.
Jeff got out of the ring as Sheamus sold piss like a pro. I don’t know about you but if someone threw their own piss at me, you can bet that I’d be fighting them on the spot. Of course, I’d vomit first, but Sheamus just crouching down in the corner after that is dumb.
It wasn’t awful, but no one is getting showered with praise. I’m so ready for us to move on from Jeff’s addictions and let him shine as the great performer he can be.
I can tell you now, piss does not get me excited for their match on Sunday.
Phenomenal
Bryan and Styles have really great chemistry. These guys haven’t been near each other since Bryan’s heel turn last year, and they picked up right where they left off.
This bout should have been billed as a submission match. Every move mattered. And there were a lot of them!
Some of these submissions looked naaaaasty, man. Bryan at one point stretched Styles’ arm back and his shoulder was turning purple. A side headlock takeover from AJ countered with a headscissors, double wristlock into a hammerlock, AJ got Bryan’s left left tangled in the ropes and owie, Bryan stomped AJ’s head in again, and the finish was a Styles Clash and a Phenomenal forearm.
Hose me down.
It’s not often any match on WWE television goes through four commercial breaks these days. And if the very rare times is brought back for an amazing match like this one, I am quite alright with that! My heart was racing towards the end, and of course I wanted Bryan to win so he could make do on his promise of defending the title every week and making it the worker’s title, but hopefully this isn’t over yet.
Gonna go rewatch that.
The Rest
Not so lonely at the top - Our new Women’s tag champs, the Best Friends and Role Models of SmackDown, held themselves a celebration. Sasha said that the titles represent their friendship, and that they are unstoppable together. As Bayley was about to recite a poem, Bliss Cross Applesauce interrupted and wanted to join the party. Then the IIconics showed up on the tron and told Bayley and Sasha to turn around into a beatdown from Bliss Cross.
I’m ready for this match on Sunday. By the way, peep Alexa with the Boss Time rings. Warms my heart. As IIconics said, they’ve beaten both teams and while it gives them the advantage, we know they’re probably eating the pin. Will Sasha and Bayley retain, or will some miscommunication be afoot? If they want to stretch out Bayley and Sasha a little more, which I feel should be their plans, it’s the right call for them to hang on to the titles for a bit and tease some more dissension later.
Braun Strowman and Heavy Machinery def. Dolph Ziggler and Miz and Morrison - They made Braun talk again. Sigh. Otis thinking Tucker kissed him was pretty funny though. Nothing of note happened in this match itself. In the back however, Corbin approached Mandy and Otis high tailed it out of the ring area to attack him. When he came back, Otis got the hot tag and ran through all three opponents, signaled for the Braun Express to charge around the ring, Braun threw Dolph back into the ring and Otis pinned him. They all celebrated after.
Not a great go home angle for anything involving these guys on Sunday. There was no Miz, Morrison, and Braun staredown, no attempted cash in, no dissension between Otis and Tucker, just… nothing. Not one bit of something for me to look forward to here. As a result, I care even less about the handicap match on Sunday. Braun isn’t losing, though. With Bray out since Money in the Bank, I’m counting on him making an appearance after the match or next Friday.
The Artists def. New Day - Big E and Kofi showed solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement before this match started, and I totally did not expect Vince to okay that on his programming. Cesaro and Shinsuke worked over Kofi and Kofi had a sick dive over the top rope to take out Shinsuke. This was too short, but we saw why after.
Ask and ye shall receive. I kept saying The Artists should be getting more serious and show any sort of interest in going after the tag titles. I wonder if we get a match at Backlash between the two?
Bro is arriving - My Bro Matt Riddle is coming to SmackDown next week! Super excited to see what his first main roster feud is. Please WWE, not Corbin.
SmackDown was worth watching this week for Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles alone. What a clinic from those two. That whole match and the Women’s tag title segment and that’s about it. Nothing else caught my interest for Backlash.
On Raw’s side, Lashley and Drew McIntyre should be really fun and Apollo Crews and Andrade as well. Crews and Andrade have never had a bad match, and the booking for Drew and Lashley with MVP has been excellent. See you all on Sunday!
Grade: B-
What are your predictions for Backlash and thoughts on SmackDown, Cagesiders?