WWE set a high bar for WrestleMania 36’s off-site cinematic wrestling with Night One’s Boneyard match. On Sunday’s Night Two, Bray Wyatt and John Cena tried to make magic again with a Firefly Fun House match. It was... something.
At first, it looked like we might stay at the Performance Center. Cena entered there as if this would be another match to take place in the ring there. But Bray Wyatt took over the screen, and transported Cena to the set of his children’s show (aka his mind), where he said Cena would have to face... himself.
Ramblin’ Rabbit warned Cena not to follow Bray, but he did. And he ran into the Mr. McMahon puppet, who wanted to see some Ruthless Aggression or he was fired.
From there, we went a trip though Cena - and WWE - history. Wyatt played Kurt Angle in a recreation of Cena’s SmackDown debut. We got an 80s riff with a studio promo from Saturday Night’s Main Event where Cena (or Johnny Largemeat, as Bray’s Hulk Hogan-type called him) did the Muscle Man Dance until he blew himself up.
Then it was the Doctor of Thuganomics cutting a promo on Wyatt in the ring. Bray returned fire with a promo that sounded a lot like fans’ complaints about Cena’s babyface character being a bully who buried people.
Bray gave him a chance to be nice, but he wasn’t, so Wyatt popped him with his own chain.
It was Bray’s turn to revisit an old gimmick next. The cult leader cut a promo about their WrestleMania 30 encounter. He offered a chance for Cena to fix his mistake and take him out with a chair. Cena tried, but we warped away again. This time to WCW.
Dressed as (and inter-cut with footage of) Eric Bischoff, Wyatt brought out nWo Cena.
The McMahon puppet praised this from commentary with the line Jon Moxley made famous, “this is such good shit”. Cena attacked Bray while we saw footage of fans mad during the LOLCENAWINS era.
But Wyatt disappeared again, and appeared behind Cena as the Fiend. He locked in the Mandible Claw as we heard audio from Cena’s promo last Friday. A pin followed. Cena lost. The Fiend won.
And I’m pretty sure no one knows what we just watched, Titus.
Get complete WrestleMania 36 results and coverage of the entire card here.