WWE SmackDown comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Apr. 17, 2020) with a show at the WWE Performance Center in Orlando due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. There won’t be any fans in attendance, but we will see the Miz defend the SmackDown tag titles in a triple threat match against Big E and Jey Uso. Also advertised for the card are two Money in the Bank qualifying matches: Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro, and Naomi vs. Dana Brooke. Finally Tamina will go one-on-one with Sasha Banks, and Sonya Deville will try to clear the air with Mandy Rose.
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the SmackDown live blog kicks off once the show starts on Fox. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR APR. 17
Sodium pentathol was an idea I had, but what does the truth mean now to all the lost souls you’ve grabbed? A mass delusion, there’s no confusion— just a hypocrite who’d never cop to it. You’re in total control and you’re still a liar, but me, I’m just here to liveblog this pro wrestling show, folks.
The show opens with a graphic in memory of legendary ring announcer Howard Finkel.
Thence to the intro video.
Commentary hypes up tonight’s show.
Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross make their entrance with the ring set up for A Moment of Bliss.
Nikki toasts the idea of them being the first-ever two time women’s tag champs, and Bliss introduces their guest, the new Universal Champion, Braun Strowman.
They congratulate him on beating Goldberg, and he congratulates them on their title win, which leads to a three-way toast. They talk about Bray Wyatt being plural (well they say “multiple personalities”, but you know) and say he needs help but he’s cunning, brutal, and psychotic. They replay his interaction with Braun from last week and ask for a response.
Strowman says Bray didn’t create him and he owes him nothing, especially not an apology. Wyatt is a manipulator, he gets in your head and makes you doubt reality, but he’s not playing those games. Bray can challenge him, but if he comes for him, the only thing he’s getting is These Hands. Bliss goes to ask a followup but Strowman asks if “that” is for him.
He grabs a present from the corner of the ring, and Alexa says she didn’t get it but he’s not buying it. He unwraps the present and pulls out the black sheep mask he used to wear as part of the Wyatt Family! Bray’s laughter rings out across the arena as Strowman looks around confused.
A still pic of Braun wearing the mask back in the day pops up.
Wyatt continues laughing.
We go to break.
Back from commercial, commentary explains the segment we just saw that was pretty self-explanatory, before confirming that Braun is defending the title against Bray at Money in the Bank.
Sasha Banks vs. Tamina
Banks begging off right away, offering Tamina a t-shirt that is clearly too small. Snuka throws it back at her and explains she wears an extra large. Mat slam, throw the shirt at Bayley, off the ropes, Sasha counters a lariat into a crucifix pin but can’t get her over. Headbutt from Tamina, fireman’s carry, Banks holding the top rope for dear life and she fights onto the apron.
Back elbow knocks her to the floor and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Tamina laying shoulder thrusts in the corner, referee DA Brewer warns her off and Banks gets to the apron to fire off a kick. Meteora follows, cover for two, raining forearms down in mount, off the ropes for a basement dropkick but the cover comes up empty at one. Cranking Snuka’s neck in the ropes, blasting her with a boot to soften her up for the Bank Statment.
Knee to the face, reverse chinlock applied, grinding her down, Tamina slips out, action goes to the floor and Bayley stands up from commentary and causes a fuss for interference. Banks throws Snuka into the post, Tiger feint on the apron, into the steel steps and Sasha goes back inside for the count.
Lacey Evans makes her entrance for the distraction, taking Bayley out, Tamina hits Banks with a superkick on the floor, back inside...
Tamina wins by pinfall with a superkick to become #1 contender to the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship.
Post-match, Lacey raises Tamina’s hand.
Jey Uso cuts a promo from backstage, saying Kofi Kingston and John Morrison put on a hell of a show at WrestleMania with his brother, but Big E and the Miz aren’t gonna be able to beat him.
This sends us to break.
Back from commercial, Lacey Evans is interviewed.
She says Sasha Banks got a taste of her own medicine, and after WrestleMania, wherever Sasha goes, she follows. She’s not gonna stop until the mission is complete.
Denzel Dejournette vs. Sheamus
Dejournette gets a little bit of action bring his amateur wrestling to bear but Sheamus destroys him with elbows and knees and gets admonished by referee Drake Wuertz before lining him up...
Sheamus wins by pinfall with the Brogue Kick.
Post-match, Sheamus confronts Michael Cole and yells at him for talking about Jeff Hardy during his matches recently.
We get another mini-documentary about Jeff Hardy’s career.
Backstage, Carmella yells at Dana Brooke for taking a Money in the Bank qualifier this week when they have a tag title match next week. Dana says she can do both and she’s got this, which doesn’t inspire much confidence in Mella.
Naomi makes her entrance and we go to break.
Back from commercial, we get some hype for next week’s 25th anniversary celebration for Triple H.
We’re also informed that the Money in the Bank ladder matches will take place at WWE headquarters, starting at the bottom with the briefcases literally on the roof. Sure.
Dana Brooke vs. Naomi (Money in the Bank Qualifying Match)
Trading pins to start, no dice, reversals, Naomi with a dropkick for one. Looking for the headscissors into the turnbuckles but Dana slings her over the top rope and to the floor! Demanding a count-out victory from referee Jessika Carr, deciding she’d rather take the fight to the floor with a baseball slide before coming back in for the cover, only two.
Bodyscissors applied, Naomi hammering her with back elbows before bridging back into a pin for two. rolling around, whip reversed into a short-arm roundhouse, scorpion kick, springboard roundhouse follows. More kicks, off the ropes, Brooke catches her into a sit-out powerbomb... NOPE! Off the ropes, handspring splash but Naomi gets the knees up! Rear View countered into a victory roll, still no!
Another Rear View lands true... ONLY TWO! Up for the split-leg moonsault, nobody home, Brooke takes advantage...
Dana Brooke wins by pinfall with a sunset flip to qualify for the women’s Money in the Bank ladder match.
Post-match Brooke celebrates big, hugging Michael Cole and generally losing her mind.
We get a video package recapping the entire saga of Mandy Rose and Otis Dozovic and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Sonya Deville makes her entrance and gets on the mic.
She says she’s been trying to get ahold of Mandy Rose for two weeks but she won’t answer her calls or texts so she wants to offer up a public explanation to make things right. She begs and says she’s never had someone like Mandy in her life, and since day one they’ve been together and she came to her sister’s wedding, so please...
Enter Mandy Rose.
She gets a mic of her own and says she really doesn’t have anything to say after what Sonya did to Otis and her. Deville says she’s spent more of her last five years with Rose than her own family and the refusal to hear her out made her feel like less than nothing, and what she’s been trying to say is that Mandy is the most... she chokes and sobs... selfish human being she’s ever met.
Mandy is confused and Deville says this has nothing to do with her and Otis, it’s about how she realized the second she showed interest in Otis she was ready to kick her to the curb. Fire and Desire was never about her, it was about Mandy. They used her entrance music, they blurred Sonya on their tron, they had to push Mandy’s magazine... She says she almost gagged, which Mandy must be doing a lot with Otis.
The sad part is Dolph Ziggler actually cares about her, and look at Dolph, then look at Otis. Yeah she helped Dolph hook up with her, but Ziggler was going to help them win the tag titles in return and Rose ruined it. Mandy asks how, and Sonya says she feels so much better with the cards on the table, and all she wants now is to see her hurt.
Mandy might be pretty, but she’s nothing but a dime a dozen bottle blonde who looks like she was created in some sort of lab. Does she know what it feels like to work and work, wasted to be second-best to no-talent eye candy? She wants her to listen carefully— she knows Mandy better than anyone, like a sister, like a roommate, like a partner, and she’ll use every ounce of her being to ruin her life, and everyone will realize who the real champ in Fire and Desire was.
Rose says she’s glad she slapped her at WrestleMania, and—
Enter Dolph Ziggler.
He wants to mediate, and he begs Mandy to give him a chance to make it up to her. He wants her to look him in the eye and tell him she doesn’t feel anything for him. Before she can answer, Sonya decks her! Ziggler is confused and hurt and—
Enter Otis Dozovic! He takes Dolph out but Deville gets a sleeper hold! Rose pulls her off Dozer with a mat slam and the heels run away! Otis and Mandy have a moment before Ziggler runs back in the ring! Dozer cuts him off... CATERPILLAR!
We get a memorial video package for legendary ring announcer Howard Finkel to send us to break.
Back from commercial, we get a Miz promo where he complains about having to defend the tag titles by himself but also says he and John Morrison are the best tag team of the 21st century.
A Forgotten Sons video package follows.
Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan (Money in the Bank Qualifying Match)
Action hot and heavy from the jump, to the floor, Bryan dropkicks Cesaro over the announce table and our hacker pal cuts in talking about lies and truth again, and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Cesaro is in control but Bryan reverses to the Jim Breaks Special and into the bicep stomp. Shoulder armbreaker into a hammerlock, kneeling on the Swiss Superman and wrenching his arm back for maximum torque! Cesaro rolls through to reverse, back elbow, shaking life into his arms, side headlock, shot off, hip toss into a cross armbar!
Cesaro keeping his arms clasped, counter into the deadlift powerbomb! Penalty Kick to the back, scoop and a slam, cover only gets two. Bryan back on the arm, up top, diving crossbody, Cesaro catches him... ONE-ARM BACKBREAKER FOR TWO! Step through, Sharpshooter applied in the middle of the ring! Dan gets the ropes to force the break and bails but Cesaro follows after and blasts him with an uppercut that sends us to break.
Back from commercial, Bryan looking for a backslide, Cesaro reverses, Dan lands on his feet and into a flying armbar but again the Swiss Superman clasps his hands! Going for the deadlift again but Bryan struggles out and into a leg pick before kicking Cesaro’s arm out from under him! Kicks to the bad arm, Cesaro tries to block one with a double axehandle but his arm gives out!
Buzzsaw finale connects and Bryan gets him in position for the crucifix overhead elbows! Cesaro hosses him up before driving him into the turnbuckles, holding on... GO 2 SLEEP! Cover for two, arm-trap crossface follows, Bryan rolling him around, countering into the omoplata, going for the LeBell Lock but Cesaro blocks his grip! Off the ropes, lariat wipes the American Dragon out!
Uppercuts in the corner, wailing on poor Dan, whip across, backflip up and over caught but Bryan counters.... FROM DUSK ‘TIL DAWN LEBELL LOCK! Shinsuke Nakamura tries to interfere, Drew Gulak neutralizes him, Cesaro has no choice...
Daniel Bryan wins by submission with the tilt-a-whirl LeBell Lock to qualify for the men’s Money in the Bank ladder match.
Big E gets a promo about how your boy is gonna do work and become an eight-time tag champ.
Elias is shown walking backstage to send us to break... AND BARON CORBIN BLINDSIDES HIM! Over a table, into a production truck, yelling at him that he’s nobody before punching him down and putting boots to him. Elbow to the kidneys... HE SMASHES ELIAS’ HAND BETWEEN TWO ROAD CASES! He asks him to play a song before deciding his got a better idea and dragging the Drifter and his guitar off-screen to send us to break.
Back from commercial, Elias is sitting against a road case, his hand trembling, when Corbin rolls back up to beat him up some more.
He says he’s gonna make an example of him before stepping on his hand and asking that he sing. He says he’s the king, not a joke, and tells him to bow down... BEFORE SPIKING HIM WITH HIS SCEPTER!
Baron puts his crown on and leaves Elias gasping and dry heaving.
Commentary hypes up next week’s show.
Big E vs. Jey Uso vs. the Miz (c) (WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship)
E passes Miz into the corner, uppercut for Uso, belly-to-belly suplex for the A-Lister! Following Miz out to the floor, Big throws him into the barricade! E clears the announce table but Uso nails him with a superkick! Pump kick from Miz, unlikely alliance... THEY SUPLEX BIG E THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE TO SEND US TO BREAK!
Back from commercial, Uso dumps Miz out of the ring and dives on E! A dive for Miz as well! Back inside, up top, diving crossbody but the A-Lister kicks out! Big catches a boot but eats an enzuigiri, Ode to Rikishi on both men! Charging in... E with the Rock Bottom! Miz with the Awesome Clothesline, springboard lariat, feeling himself, full nelson, E fights out and Jey levels both men with superkicks!
Cover for two on Big, Miz snaps off a small package, only two. Sunset flip from Jey, the A-Lister rolls through and picks the leg but Uso kicks him off and schoolboys him. Miz kicks out, full nelson, Skull Crushing Finale... NOT ENOUGH! Figure four leglock applied in the middle of the ring, Jey screaming agony, trying to reverse it, clubbing away at Miz’s knee but he can’t get away!
Big E back in the ring, he hosses Miz up...
New Day win by pinfall with the Big Ending from Big E on the Miz, winning the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship.
We cut video of Kofi Kingston watching at home and celebrating the win with his best Howard Finkel impression before cutting to Xavier Woods celebrating in front of his frankly ridiculous bookshelves full of what appears to be damn near every US-released Sega Saturn game.
Big E hugs and kisses the belts.
That’s the show, folks.