There was really only one “segment” of this show worthy of a featured spot in the review, in my opinion, and that was the tag team gauntlet match that took up nearly the entire final hour. The tag match featured all teams scheduled to compete in the Elimination Chamber, with the spot of being the final entrants in that match on the line.
As for stories? Well, there were essentially two. First, Kofimania is as dead and gone as anything could possibly be. One of the backstage reporters asked New Day if Kofi had any magic left to pull off another miraculous run. They lost right off the bat to Heavy Machinery.
The other story was the Otis/Mandy Rose/Dolph Ziggler romantic triangle that’s been a factor on Smackdown for quite a while now. Right before the gauntlet started, Otis bolstered his courage and went to apologize for standing up Rose on Valentine’s Day. She seemed to sympathize a bit, but firmly told him that “it’s too late.” That’s reasonable, in my opinion. She then said “women don’t like being stood up like that” which is just...isn’t that everyone, gender notwithstanding?
Anyway, Otis took the emotions from that rejection and he and Tucker put on perhaps their best performance since joining the main roster. They took down New Day by catching Big E in a Trash Compactor, followed it up with a win over the surprisingly game Lucha House Party, caught the Usos by surprise with a rollup, and then another rollup to defeat Miz and Morrison.
The booking of this match was pretty solid. They saved the heel teams for last, which allowed Miz and Morrison to beat up Heavy Machinery and put Otis through the barricade at a time where it made the most sense to Rose watching on a monitor in concern for Otis. Ziggler sidled up to ask her why she cared about him before going out to continue beating the guy up.
Tucker was out of commission in the final leg of the gauntlet when Otis rallied against Bobby Roode. He was doing his jiggles after getting struck to the delight of the crowd, and didn’t notice Roode tagging in Ziggler as he charged the man and collided with them both. It allowed Otis to set up for the Caterpillar on Roode only to be surprised by a Superkick from Ziggler to lose the match.
Those dastardly heels, man.
Anyway, I really liked the booking of the match itself, but I’m not really that invested in this story. Maybe this is just me, Cageside, but I don’t have much sympathy for anyone involved. Ziggler’s a tool, Rose is basically trolling Otis, and Otis is like...c’mon man! He’s a cartoon character. If anything, Tucker’s the guy I like the most in this whole thing.
With that said, it’s a long-term story that might end up being decent. I quite liked the moment earlier in the show where Ziggler did the thing that Sonya Deville had hoped Otis would do a while back by distracting opponents for them. It’s better than a lot of stuff on the show right now.
The Rest
nWo are so unafraid of Sami Zayn’s crew that they want to fight them - Sami, when you’ve got 50 year-olds wanting to fight your group, that’s probably a bad sign. Hiding from Braun Strowman by cowering behind Alexa Bliss doesn’t help, either.
Not much else to this segment. Was basically just a tease for that Strowman match at Elimination Chamber.
John Cena created the Fiend - I said last week that Cena needed to help carry this story. A Firefly Fun House segment that recapped their history that I already knew doesn’t do much. That’s probably overly critical, but we’re like 5 weeks from WrestleMania, guys; every segment needs to count at this point.
Bayley and Sasha Banks def. Lacey Evans, Naomi - I have no idea what the story is with Bayley right now. Last week, it seemed like the story would be that she was doing better without Banks. They followed that up by having Banks secure the win over Naomi, so who knows man.
Sheamus def. Apollo Crews - I don’t really get squash matches with a guy like Sheamus. We know who he is at this point; he’s fully established on the roster. That means matches like this just don’t hold my interest.
Gulak vs. Bryan at Elimination Chamber - This might be the only thing I actively like on SmackDown at the moment. Gulak was approached by Drake Maverick who was begging Gulak to coach him to beat Bryan. The “Daniel Bryan has 163 weaknesses” line was hilarious, as was Gulak’s expression when Bryan confronted him.
It is absolutely no coincidence that everything Bryan does is fun. This story gets even better if Gulak wins, doesn’t it?
Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose def. Carmella, Dana Brooke - Here’s the match where Ziggler’s presence helped get the win. He taunted Brooke, which allowed Deville to tag in Rose without Brooke being aware. A nasty-looking running knee got the win for the...heels? I guess they’re heels, right?
Baron Corbin and Elias argue - Cageside, I can’t think of a single feud I’d like to see less than this one.
I really wasn’t a fan of this show. The entire first hour felt like your ordinary go-home show, and the rest was decent, but not too exciting. I think that’s the biggest issue with Smackdown right now: nothing is truly standing out other than Bryan/Gulak to me as an undercard feud.
It’s a boring show.
Grade: C-
Agree or disagree, Cageside?