This show started with a really fun Undertaker promo. It had several other good promos on it as well. ...But make no mistake, that’s basically all this show was: Promos and WWE Network Simulator.
Let’s get to the best segment of the show, shall we?
After Rollins comes out on top once more, Owens had some thoughts
Synopsis:
- Prior to the scheduled 6-man tag match, Zelina Vega announced that Andrade had a rib injury and wasn’t cleared to compete. In his stead, she recruited Austin Theory to join the team.
- Easily the best match of the night, but it had no real competition. My favorite part was how masterfully Rollins used Angel Garza and Theory to eat all the damage. He tagged Theory in immediately to start the match once Owens hopped into the ring, for example, and just always knew how to capitalize on them taking a beating. This is important in the context of Owens promo.
- Despite that, Owens hit Garza with a Stunner to win, but Rollins used that moment to hit Owens with a Blackout and bail.
- After a commercial break, Owens was sitting in the ring and discussed Rollins’ words from the previous show.
Before I get into the meat of Owens’ promo which is the thing that really matters here...maaan, that dive from Montez Ford at the end of the match looked intensely painful. There was clearly some sort of mixup on how that whole tope spot was supposed to go, but Ford went leaping into a flip while Theory was still on the ground trying to get up. Needless to say, Ford didn’t get caught.
Ouch.
Anyway, let’s get into the meat of Owens’ promo. It started with Owens refuting all of Rollins’ claims and illusions of grandeur. Rollins may think the Performance Center was built because of him, but Owens believes it was built in spite of Rollins. The PC is a place for learning, after all, and Rollins allegedly knew everything and wouldn’t listen to anybody when he joined WWE.
This led into a really great babyface realization from Owens that he expanded upon. Since Rollins is out there living in his own reality and discussing accolades, Owens went back and looked at most of his crowning achievements in WWE and said he was relying on someone else’s help a lot of the time. He’s used Chris Jericho’s help, for example. Sami Zayn’s. And the difference is that Owens isn’t delusional. He realizes these things, and he also knows that Rollins wouldn’t be where he is without Triple H watching his back, or Roman Reigns, Randy Orton, J&J Security, AOP, Buddy Murphy…
It’s a really good point to make, especially after Rollins used Garza and Theory the way he did in the match on this show. Owens capped it by saying that in the end, it’s going to be one on one at WrestleMania. To which I say….is it, Kevin? Rollins has been using a gang to beat you up for months. Still a great promo, but I know ol’ Murphy’s lurking back there somewhere.
The Lesnar/Heyman combo didn’t work in an empty arena
Synopsis:
- Moody lighting and Lesnar/Heyman in the ring to start the “main event” segment.
- Heyman cuts a promo that calls McIntyre special before listing all the “special” wrestlers and MMA fighters that have fallen once they faced Lesnar.
- Claims Lesnar’s inevitable victory is “not a victory, not a spoiler, but a guarantee.”
I think the best way to sum up this main event segment is to let you know that I literally said “that’s it?” aloud when it finished. My dog looked at me funny.
Social distancing is taking its toll, folks.
I don’t want to say that Heyman and Lesnar can’t work in an empty arena, but as is a constant theme with these shows right now, there was just a lack of creativity here. This was your completely ordinary Paul Heyman promo with none of the usual buzz that accompanies Lesnar to the ring.
And that was it! No fights, no fireworks. That’s how Raw sends us off to WrestleMania. I know it’s a sign of the times but that’s depressing, man! I don’t even know what else to say. It’s discouraging that they couldn’t work McIntyre into this thing at all, via webcam or otherwise. All I know is that this left a really bad taste in my mouth that feels like it’s coloring this review.
The Rest
The Undertaker talks down to AJ Styles - I’ve got a lot of strong feelings about the Undertaker’s promo to start the show, which is good! I wholeheartedly welcome anything that doesn’t bore me right now.
So! The best parts of this promo were the moments where the Undertaker got to display his derision and mocking humor of AJ Styles. He talked down to Styles, and the overall feel of this promo was that he was dealing with someone who wasn’t nearly as good as they thought they were.
Some of the quips he used are way too common in WWE for my taste - take the “big fish in a small pond” insult, for example - but the overall tone of this promo was perfect in response to Styles’ bullshit last week. That’s the emotion that could lead to a good fight. Also...Unholy Trinity? Color me intrigued, Deadman.
WrestleMania 35 rerun: Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair - This was introduced by Lynch right after the Undertaker’s opening promo and was used as context for the promo she gave about Baszler living in Rousey’s shadow.
With that said, these reruns have totally lost my attention by this point. It’s hard to blame WWE entirely, but it is what it is.
Shayna Baszler assaults Becky Lynch - So let’s get to that promo, shall we? The context of it was fine. Lynch was basically arguing that Baszler’s whole “I’ll destroy you by taking the title” claim is actually just vocalizing her own insecurities. She’s always been in Ronda’s shadow, and beating Lynch is the one thing that Rousey couldn’t do.
All of that is solid. What bothers me is everything that happened afterwards. Becky, how does Baszler sneak up on you in a massive room with five total people in it? WWE, how is Shayna Baszler supposed to look like anything other than a dork holding up the title in the silence of an empty arena? It’s just a dumb look, all of it.
Aleister Black def. Jason Cade - If there’s one dude that is suited for the void of silence that accompanies matches these days, it’s Black. It fits his whole motif, and it makes that Black Mass sound even more vicious.
Edge cuts a promo - The big moment of this promo that I really liked was where Edge defended Orton’s claim that he was a “junkie for Edge” by saying all wrestlers are junkies for this. It’s the fuel that propelled him back into the WWE. Edge flipped that back onto Orton by saying that’s the real catalyst of their feud. Orton envies Edge’s passion. In fact, Edge is the only one who can make Orton even feel passionate about wrestling. He’s always been at his best when Edge is around.
This is where the meta stuff actually works. It blended way better here than the “lol Edge isn’t even your real name” stuff. Edge is also an awesome actor, so this was fun.
Asuka def. Kayden Carter - Another squash, accompanied by Asuka being Asuka on the microphone before hand and with a headset at the commentary table afterwards. Asuka’s here to bring the energy, folks; you’ve got to give her that, at least.
Survivor Series 2019 rerun: Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar - Sure.
The Owens/Undertaker/Edge promos were worth the time. The 6-man match was fun as well. The rest was somewhere on the scale of okay to boring.
Grade: C-
On to WrestleMania, I guess?