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WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Mar. 30, 2020) from the Performance Center in Orlando, Florida, with all the latest build to the upcoming WrestleMania 36 pay-per-view scheduled for early next month.
Advertised for tonight: Edge, Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, and Becky Lynch are all scheduled to make appearances.
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
WWE RAW RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR MAR. 30
Just before the afternoon creeps in, just before it gets too hot to be outside, I like to lay on my back in the grass and watch the airplanes go by and I dream that you are an airplane shooting across the sky. You are an airplane. You’re a strong and dangerous machine, but me? I’m here to liveblog this pro wrestling show.
The show opens with a video package for AJ Styles vs. the Undertaker.
The Undertaker cuts a promo. He starts off by calling AJ Allen Jones, so it’s shoot name season, and says he’s got a big mouth and he doesn’t know if he’s got a big set (of balls, is the subtext) or he’s just stupid. He’s heard a lot worse from a lot better, and while there’s some truth to what Styles is saying, he was content being a big fish in a small pond back 10-15 years ago, because he knew he couldn’t hang with the greats in WWE.
He says he’s got more matches behind him than ahead of him, but AJ has stepped in something he can’t take back, and foolish pride is making bad decisions for him. All the things he’s said, he gets, it’s just business, but Styles crossed the line mentioning his wife. His pride is playing games with him, because Michelle McCool does the Faith Breaker, the Styles Clash, better than he does.
He’s gonna make AJ famous at WrestleMania, and he hopes he brings those assclowns Gallows and Anderson with him, but all three of them can face the wrath of his unholy trinity. You’ll feel the pain, you’ll hurt, and you will suffer, but most importantly, you will rest... in... peace.
Commentary talks up Brock Lesnar vs. Drew McIntyre and hypes up a six-man for later.
We get footage of Becky Lynch rolling up in her custom big rig “earlier today” to send us to break.
Back from commercial, we get a recap of last week’s Shayna Baszler interview and Becky Lynch’s attack.
Lynch gets on the mic from the stage.
She says last year in the main event of WrestleMania she fought two champions at once, Charlotte Flair and Ronda Rousey. The stakes couldn’t be higher— she talked some trash and made some bold predictions, and she’s been walking that razor’s edge ever since.
A replay of that main event follows, so I’ll see y’all when we have new content!
Back to new content, Becky Lynch is... still standing there with the mic after forty minutes of pro wrestling match.
Sure.
Anyway, she cuts a promo about how Shayna Baszler thinks she’s different. She’s right that taking the title from her will destroy her, and we all get into this business with things to prove, and she doesn’t know who she is without the title. But she knows about Baszler’s insecurities, with her low voice and her cool walk, and she can see that she’s starting to get to her.
Starting to see the emotion, the hope break as she sees the one thing Ronda Rousey couldn’t do. She can see it, the relief that Shayna would get from beating her, as if for once she’ll steal Ronda’s spotlight rather than the other way around, that at last she’ll be seen as the supreme world class athlete she is, or she loses and gets put back in Rousey’s shadow.
So when you talk about one of them being destroyed by a loss, which one do you mean, exactly?
BASZLER ATTACKS FROM BEHIND AND LOCKS THE KIRIFUDA CLUTCH IN! SHE SMASHES BECKY’S FACE INTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Stalking after her, she lifts the Man up in a powerbomb clutch and swings her into the desk! Shayna picks the title up and considers it briefly before posing over Becky’s fallen body with it and dropping it across her.
And so we go to break.
Back from commercial, Aleister Black makes his entrance.
Aleister Black vs. Jason Cade
Indie standout Jason Cade, everybody! Love this dude, great high flyer, crying shame he’s not higher profile. He charges in, Black sweeps his leg and takes a seat. Jason confused, he comes back in for a kick, gets caught but gets an enzuigiri off! Aleister keeps himself together, roundhouse kick, following it up...
Aleister Black wins by pinfall with Black Mass.
A recap of the Kevin Owens / Seth Rollins promo segment from last week follows.
We go to break on a promise of six-man action up next.
Back from commercial, Zelina Vega cuts a promo during her entrance alongside Angel Garza.
Andrade “Cien” Almas has suffered a serious rib injury and has been declared medically unable to compete. However, she has access to the hottest young talent in WWE. Just like she brought in Angel Garza, now she introduces the 22-year-old sensation, Austin Theory!
Angel Garza, Austin Theory, & Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens & Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford)
Owens and Theory to start, KO takes an early advantage and tags the Profits in. Working the young man over, Ford with a tope con giro and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Garza gets a comeback on Ford and tears his pants off! Tag to Theory, snap suplex, cover for two and he follows it up with a chickenwing chinlock. Rolling thunder dropkick follows, cover for two, big forearm into overhead elbows, forearm to the kidneys, back suplex but Montez lands on his feet and tags Dawkins in! Angelo running hot, clear the apron, overhead exploder suplex on Austin!
Turning Stinger Splash, off the ropes for the bulldog but Theory dumps him to the floor! Pounce Garza on the floor, back in, pounce on Austin! Rollins slips in, superkick! Heels with the momentum again, working Dawkins over, Rollins getting into it with Owens and Angelo gets a schoolboy for two! Sling Blade connects! Tags made, Owens on Garza, front kick for a lariat, Kev follows with the senton!
Up top, diving senton, Theory breaks it up! Ford in and hot, huge tope con giro comes up empty but KO takes advantage of the chaos...
Kevin Owens & Street Profits win by pinfall with the Stunner from Owens on Angel Garza.
Post-match, Rollins hits Blackout on Owens before he even gets all the way up from the pin!
And so we go to break.
Back from commercial, we get a recap of what we just saw, because Raw is three hours long. (Three hours long.)
Kevin Owens gets on the mic and says he’s been thinking about what Seth Rollins said last week and he knows he’s listening, so pay attention. Last week he said this building was built because of him, that everybody that came through here should be thankful for him and his blood, sweat, and tears, but uh... Owens has heard otherwise.
That this place was built despite him, that from the moment he set foot in that warehouse in Tampa, he was a nightmare to deal with. He knew everything about everything, he was better than everybody else and nobody could stand him, and these past few months he’s done an outstanding job proving everyone that said he’s an arrogant dipshit right.
But Kevin is well aware of his own past and what people can say because of what he’s chosen, but the difference between them is he’s not delusional. Last week Seth proved himself delusional, talking about all his WrestleMania moments, that at WrestleMania he becomes a god and KO is just a disappointment. He’s gotta admit, those words stung. They stayed with him, but at home thinking about this stuff he realized just how skewed Rollins’ worldview is.
He may have those moments, but KO can claim all the same accolades as him, and in fact he held the Universal Championship long before Seth did. All his accomplishments, he’s man enough to admit he didn’t get them on his own, because he had somebody watching his back or helping him for each of them, one way or the other, and so did Rollins. None of his WrestleMania moments were his own, because either he had backup or found some underhanded way to get what he wants.
Seth should be proud of those moments, but he needs to be honest with himself, because the only thing he said last week that made sense was that when he came to WWE he was told his past doesn’t matter. That’s never going to be truer than at WrestleMania. Neither of their pasts will matter, all that will matter is that it’s the two of them, one-on-one, and on Saturday night, he’ll show him he’s not a profit, a messiah, or a god, when he takes his first WrestleMania moment from him.
Because this Saturday, Owens will be the one to burn it down.
Commentary hypes up Edge’s appearance tonight, which will take place after the break.
Back from commercial, we get a recap of Edge’s return at the Royal Rumble and all the stuff that’s come of that since.
Edge cuts a promo from a closet somewhere.
Randy Orton said that Adam Copeland is a junkie for Edge, and he’s probably right. But it’s not an ego thing, it’s just that he loves the feeling that happens in an arena, that explosion when the music hits, that raw connection with the audience, because he’s one of us, he came from us. And let’s face it, we’re all junkies for this. As a thirteen-year-old, he watched Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior, and they certainly were.
If you’re not a junkie, you’re just taking up space, you’re in his way. And as for grit, clearly they have different definitions. For Orton, it seems to be being hand-picked, resting on the laurels of his family name, coasting, off-and-on with spurts of magic for the last twenty years, okay with being okay, and don’t get him wrong, okay for Randy is great for most, and that’s a hall of fame career.
But to Edge, grit is the kind of man that’ll reach into a hole and pull somebody out that doesn’t deserve it, refusing to be in Evolution because you don’t want to be a lackey, forging your own hall of fame career, thinking about how to get back here every day for nine years, and then doing it, on your own terms. He was mistaken, though, when he said Orton was jealous of him.
No, he’s not jealous of him, he’s jealous of his passion, because you can’t fabricate that, and the only time that Randy has it is when he’s around. Edge lights a fire under him and everybody sees it except for Randy, and the last time he scratched being this good was nine years ago. That scares Orton, and he doesn’t know what to do with it. If anything he’s a junkie for the way he makes him feel.
The voices told him to make a horrible mistake and he listened. Randy attacked his pack, and almost had him believing that maybe the Royal Rumble was enough closure for him, but then he put his hands on Beth Phoenix and uttered the names of their little girls, and pulled him right back in. Orton accepted a last man standing match with a man who will dive face first into a flaming table with thumbtacks lodged in every inch of his body just to take the torch that he took for granted.
He tells Randy that he dug himself another hole, and this time he won’t pull him back out— he’s gonna push him so far in that he’ll never get back out.
Commentary promises us Asuka, after the break.
Back from commercial, Asuka cuts a loud promo in Japanese about her opponent, NXT’s Kayden Carter, asking in English who she is before declaring that no one is ready for Asuka.
Asuka vs. Kayden Carter
Carter hot out the gates, but Asuka cuts her off, puts boots to her after. Carter out, cover for two, big dropkick, roundhouse kick caught, ankle lock applied. The Empress shifts gears, roundhouse kick of her own into the Asuka Lock...
Asuka wins by submission with the Asuka Lock.
Post-match, Asuka gets on a commentary headset and speaks a whole lot of excited Japanese.
Commentary hypes up Brock Lesnar’s appearance and we go to break.
Back from commercial, we get a video from “earlier today” of Charlotte Flair attacking Rhea Ripley.
A replay of Brock Lesnar vs. Rey Mysterio at Survivor Series last year follows, so see y’all when we have new content!
Oh hey, new content— well, commentary runs down the announced WrestleMania card for us, that kinda counts.
And then we go to break.
Back from commercial, Paul Heyman is in the ring with Brock Lesnar.
He does his usual introduction and talks about how he hates drawing the curtain back on wrestling. He loves the magic of WWE, the embellishment and exaggeration. This is the go-home segment on the go-home Raw to WrestleMania, and if you look at these segments over the last twenty years, more often than not, it’s your champion Brock Lesnar. And why is that?
Because year in, year out, Brock Lesnar is the Beast to slay, the one to beat on the biggest show of the year. This year, Drew McIntyre has truly stepped up. He compliments him and says that he’s special, especially compared to the average guy on the street and to that locker room, despite it being the most talented such locker room in wrestling history.
You know who else was special? The Rock, who got beat by Brock the first time he went after the title. Hulk Hogan, whose blood was wiped across Lesnar’s chest like some medieval warlord. Randy Couture. Undertaker. John Cena. Legends and hall of famers all of them, but at the end of the day when they got into the ring against a once-ever athlete like Brock Lesnar, they ended up like everyone else— not so goddamn special, but just Brock’s bitch.
Drew McIntyre doesn’t need to embellish just how damn good the Claymore is. So was the Rock Bottom, the Atomic Leg Drop, the Attitude Adjustment, the chokeslam, the Tombstone Piledriver, and none of them worked against Brock on the day it truly mattered. Now that Brock Lesnar knows that the Claymore is coming, either he’ll avoid it or he’ll take one and we’ll get to find out if the Claymore can take him down.
He’s got something more than a prediction or a spoiler for us, it’s an absolutely guarantee— this time next year, you know who’s gonna be standing here? Brock Lesnar.
With the title on his shoulder.
And Paul Heyman will be talking about how Drew McIntyre had a great story just like everyone else, but he got beaten fugly at the 2020 WrestleMania. This year, Drew walks in special, and he walks out just like everybody else. Nothing more than Brock’s bitch.
That’s the show, folks.