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WWE SmackDown comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Mar. 20, 2020) with a show moved to the WWE Performance Center in Orlando due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. There won’t be any fans in attendance, but Rob Gronkowski is set to arrive on this show, and Goldberg and Roman Reigns will have a contract signing for their Universal title match at WrestleMania 36.
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the SmackDown live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR MAR. 20
Thrashed through the forest like a tormented brute, I had to make myself a monster just to feel something ugly enough to be true. And then scratching wildly at the mirror in my heart to see their doleful faces, what is the flaw in just running away? Running away fixes everything, how can I... Why should I stay, just to view the triumph of disintegration? When instead I could be liveblogging this pro wrestling show for you folks.
The show opens with the intro video.
I, for one, am *not* ready for a good time, but so it goes.
Michael Cole welcomes us to the show and hypes up the card, such as it is.
He’s in the ring and he talks about the announcement that WrestleMania will happen across two nights this year and talks up new WWE signing Rob Gronkowski, who gets a video package.
Mojo Rawley comes out to play hype man and slaps Cole on the bottom repeatedly before giving his boy Gronk a big intro. Rob comes out and talks about how he’s still hyped even though Mania is happening in front of all of zero people this year. Mojo talks up the difference between wrestling and football and says he’s here to watch his back, and Gronk says he’s got his back AND his front, and this leads to Rob chopping Rawley a bunch, because dudes I guess.
Enter King Baron Corbin.
He talks about how he expects Gronkowski to get on his knees and bow down, to which Rob says he doesn’t get on his knees. Corbin says this isn’t for him, he’s just a party guy, he’s used to wearing all kinds of pads and a helmet, but in WWE there’s none of that. He’s bigger and stronger than Gronk and if he wants to have a good time as host of WrestleMania, he better fall in line like everybody else or he’ll make sure his little party is over.
Enter Elias, guitar in hand.
Baron asks if he’s following him everywhere, and the Drifter says he’s had a song in his head that Corbin needs to hear. Baron agrees to let him play it if it’ll shut him up, but of course it’s about how dumb Corbin sounds and whatnot. Baron gets in Rob’s face and the football man gives him a shove, revealing that Mojo’s dropped down behind him to trip him up. Corbin goes after them but Elias comes up behind him and dumps him to the floor!
Gronk says he doesn’t have the power to make matches, but he’s advocating for Elias vs. Corbin.
Sami Zayn and his boys are shown walking backstage.
Daniel Bryan and Drew Gulak make their entrance, they’ll be in action after the break.
Daniel Bryan & Drew Gulak vs. the Artists (Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura)
Bryan and Nakamura to start, test of strength, shift to a side headlock, Shinsuke takes him down but Dan pivots to a rear chinlock and then into a wristlock. Tag to Gulak, Nakamura backs him into the corner and tags Cesaro in. Headlock to headscissors, reverse to a deathlock, jockeying for position, tag to the American Dragon. Off the ropes into a leg pick, Cesaro counters to a side headlock, uppercuts, and the tag!
Off the ropes, front kick, to the floor, suicide dive puts Shinsuke into the announce table and he goes back inside to work on Cesaro, who had tagged in. Off the top, caught with a backbreaker and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Cesaro is working Bryan over and tags Nakamura in. Sliding German suplex, snapmare into a knee drop to the face, cover for one, tag back out, Karelin lift from the Swiss Superman followed up by forearms in the corner. Whip across, uppercuts, Dan gets a dropkick off and both men are down with the separation. Tags made, Gulak in hot with a dropkick, right hands and kicks set up a huge bridging German suplex... NOPE!
Looking for the Gu-Lock, countered into a cross armbar but Drew posts to his feet for a pin. Heel kick, tag to Cesaro, fireman’s carry into the turnbuckles and Nakamura hits the corner knee! SWISS DEATH BUT BRYAN BREAKS THE PIN UP! Stomping away, uppercuts on uppercuts, tag back to Shinsuke for a sitout gourdbuster but Gulak lays him out! Cesaro with uppercuts, back body drop, Drew lands on his feet!
Cesaro pulls him out of his bridge, boot into the corner but he tags Bryan in. Off the second, crossbody, caught, reversals, sunset flip...
Daniel Bryan & Drew Gulak win by pinfall with a sunset flip from Bryan on Cesaro.
Commentary hypes up old WrestleManias coming to ESPN and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Bryan and Gulak are going over their match.
Drew leads him in some post-match breathing and stretching when Sami Zayn and his boys roll up to yell about how all Gulak is doing is teaching him how to squeak by. Sami calls himself untouchable and Dan takes it to him and tells him to put his money where his mouth is and put the Intercontinental Championship on the line at WrestleMania.
Paige Skypes in but is immediately interrupted by Bayley and Sasha Banks.
Bayley wants her to get whatever she has to say out so the world can move on and go back to ignoring her. Paige says it’s hard to listen to them running the locker room down week in week out, but they know better about the women’s revolution. Any woman that laced up her boots showed courage that these two bullies lack. Bayley says it’s not her fault she’s the most dominant champion in SmackDown history.
Paige talks about how it breaks her heart every day to have her passion taken away and she wouldn’t wish that on anybody. WrestleMania is coming and she can’t wait to see who takes the title from her, so she went to friends at Fox and got permission to announce her match at WrestleMania. Bayley complains, saying that there will be no match because she’s so much better than everyone.
Paige continues, saying she’ll defend the title against Lacey Evans (who Bayley says she’s beaten), Dana Brooke, Tamina (who Bayley doesn’t even know if she still works here), Naomi (who prompts Sasha to complain), and... Sasha Banks.
And so we go to break.
Back from commercial, we get a replay of John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt from WrestleMania XXX, so that’s our next half hour or so sorted.
See you when we get back to new content, everybody!
Hey lookit that, new show content.
Well, kinda, it’s a replay of Bray’s promo from last week.
Commentary hypes up tonight’s contract signing.
The Miz and John Morrison make their entrance to send us to break.
Back from commercial, Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross are interviewed.
Nikki complains about Asuka attacking them and Alexa takes the mic, calling her out and saying if that’s how Asuka wants to play that game, she’ll play it too, but better, and she asks Cross what her schedule is like next week. It’s open, so she challenges Asuka to a match next week.
Miz and Morrison welcome us to the Dirt Sheet.
They talk about how they don’t have any viable challengers and they ask the audience who they should face at WrestleMania.
We cut to footage of them dressed up as New Day’s biggest fans, advocating a New Day title shot. Repeat the same for the Usos, Heavy Machinery (wherein they’re dressed up as bacon), and then the different versions of them bicker among themselves, with a running gag where everyone thinks the Heavy Machinery fans are dressed as ham. They come to the conclusion they should just take the night off—
Enter Heavy Machinery to send us to break.
Heavy Machinery (Otis Dozovic & Tucker Knight) vs. the Miz & John Morrison
Otis and Miz to start, the match joined in progress. Dozer shoves the A-Lister into the corner, back to circling, go-behind to a side headlock for the Miz. Takeover blocked, he slings Miz aside but that just leads to a tag. Otis shrugs off a kick and starts jiggling, Morrison turns the pressure up but Mr. Ham and Slam is still feeling himself. Whip blocked and reversed, slide under, to the apron, roundhouse kick staggers the big man!
Springboard, nobody home, roll through, Dozer shrugs him off with a belly bump! Suplex lift, tag to Knight and he completes the delayed vertical for a two-count! Whip across, roll over, tag to the Miz! Hip toss, Stinger Splash, tag back to Dozovic sets up a shoulder block! Belly bump sandwiches him, stereo follow headbutts follow! Clothesline him to the floor, Tucky with the cannonball off the apron!
Throwing the A-Lister back inside, off the ropes, a low bridge from Johnny SmackDown sends him to the floor! Slingshot dropkick staggers the big man, back inside, tag made, heels working him over and cutting the ring in half. Tucker gets a whirlwind of offense, the path is clear... and Dolph Ziggler makes his entrance for the distraction. Miz with the basement DDT... SO CLOSE!
Dolph joins the commentary team and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Morrison is in control on Knight. Big man double suplex, the path is clear and Otis is fired up! Glitch break-in, tag made, Dozer a house afire! Scoop and a revolution slam on the Miz, pop-up drop for John! Stack ‘em up in the corner, Stinger Splash takes both guys out! CATERPILLAR TIME! Ziggler gets on the mic and interrupts and cuts him off before the drop!
He knows Otis is smitten with his kitten Mandy Rose but he’s got some pictures of them being happy on Instagram to taunt him with. Dozer cries and goes after Dolph with a steel chair but the tag champs reassert themselves! He clotheslines both of them to the floor and smashes Morrison into the steel steps and Miz into the announce table! He chokes Miz and throws him into the post!
MORRISON DIVES AND DOZER CATCHES HIM AND THROWS HIM INTO THE RINGPOST! SPEAR THROUGH THE BARRICADE! Otis grabs a steel chair and Tucker tries to talk him down but fails and he wails on the champs with the chair! Referee Jessika Carr calls for the bell...
The Miz & John Morrison win by disqualification.
Post-match, Tucky tries to comfort his pal and we go to break.
Back from commercial, commentary hypes up next week’s show, including Gulak vs. Nakamura with Bryan’s right to challenge Zayn on the line, Usos vs. New Day for the #1 contendership, and an episode of Firefly Fun House.
Michael Cole is in the ring for our Universal Championship contract signing.
He introduces Roman Reigns first, followed by Goldberg.
They immediately throw the chairs out of the ring and square off across the table. Cole tries to get them to relax and has some questions. Bill says he was hoping Roman would answer his challenge but he didn’t think he had the balls. Reigns says he’s been fortunate that all the greats have chosen him— John Cena, Triple H, Brock Lesnar, the Undertaker, and they’ve all lost, so Goldberg isn’t going to be any different.
Roman talks about the Twitter shot he took at Bill back in January and says he took it because why not, and he calls Goldberg a “little bitch bulldog” before signing the contract. Bill calls him a punk and says he’s been destroying steel doors all across the world for years with his headbutt, and come WrestleMania, Roman’s gonna be the next victim, before he too signs the contract.
Goldberg throws the title aside and gets nose-to-nose with the Big Dog.
That’s the show, folks.