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WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Mar. 16, 2020) from the Performance Center in Orlando, Florida, with all the latest build to the upcoming WrestleMania 36 showcase that probably isn’t happening anytime soon.
Advertised for tonight: Stone Cold is back to celebrate 3:16, Undertaker and AJ Styles sign the contract for their match, and more!
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
WWE RAW RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR MAR. 16
Disease, disease! Spreading the disease! With some help from Captain Trips, he’ll bring the world down to his knees. Power, yes power! He’ll show them all his power! It pulses through his ice cold blood, a whole world to devour. He’s seeing, he’s calling, his legacy he’s spawning. He’s coming, corrupting, among the living, but me, I’m just here to liveblog this pro wrestling show for you folks.
The show opens with the intro video.
Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, and Jerry “the King” Lawlor are in the ring in the empty arena of the Performance Center.
They welcome us to the show and hype it up before tossing to a recap of AJ Styles calling out the Undertaker last week.
(You think you know me?)
Edge makes his entrance and gets on the mic.
He says it’s been a strange few months for him and his wife, Beth Phoenix, and we get a recap of all the Randy Orton business of late.
He then talks about his past with Randy Orton, and how they both owe so much to Mick Foley, who pushed both of them and tortured both of them, and taught him grit, the grit that brought him back after nine years retired. They’re a lot a like, but they have one major difference, and that’s that Orton is an entitled brat. One of the best, to be sure, but he’s had all of this handed to him on a silver platter, and that kills him and makes him jealous of a guy like Edge who worked for everything.
His mom raised him as a single parent and broke her back to make sure his dreams came true, and then when he came back at the Royal Rumble and eliminated Randy, that’s what set him off. It’s not about love, it’s about jealousy, Orton can’t do what he does and that tears him apart. So, two weeks ago, Beth comes back to give a medical update, and what no one realizes is that she was here to retire for him again.
And Randy just couldn’t let her finish. All those years he pulled Orton out of holes and stopped him making horrible decisions, and Randy pulled him out of a hole that he had dug, and kept him from making a horrible decision. So it’s pretty simple— at WrestleMania, if you’ve got the guts, it’s Edge vs. Orton in a last man standing match!
This is not a story that Randy dictates, Edge writes this story, and it’s not a tragedy, it’s a redemption.
We get video footage of Becky Lynch rolling up to the Performance Center in a custom semi truck emblazoned with flames and her portrait, and we go to break.
Back from commercial, a replay of this year’s men’s Royal Rumble begins, so that’s the next hour or so sorted.
Oh hey, we finally get show again, and 70-year-old Jerry “the King” Lawler is in the ring for the contract signing between AJ Styles and the Undertaker.
Taker comes out, dressed in his pants and a do-rag without any of his usual entrance gear, flips the table, and we go to break.
Back from commercial, we’re told that the Undertaker flipped the table because things got so personal he doesn’t need a contract? Or something.
Anyway, a recap of the feud follows and then we go back live and AJ Styles’ entrance plays but he doesn’t come out.
AJ appears on the tron with Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson, and he’s got the contract. Aha, the idea is he took the contract and Taker got pissed, got it. Anyway, he talks at Taker, putting him over for his legacy before pointing out it’s 2020 and you don’t see Michael Jordan in the NBA finals. He calls him a shadow of his former self and says he can’t find any sympathy for him.
And why? Because not once, but twice he’s stuck his nose in OC business and taken victories away from him. Styles signs the contract and asks Anderson and Gallows to take the contract to the Undertaker, but they demure. AJ forces it into Karl’s hand and makes them go deliver the contract.
They head to ringside, the lights go out...
(DONG.)
...and come back up and Taker is behind them! He rams them into the apron,whips Anderson hard into the steps and lights Gallows up with those carcinogenic fists, as Jim Ross once called them! He throws them into the barricades and signs the contract! He shoves the contract into Karl’s mouth!
The Undertaker stares AJ, who is still backstage and whose face is being projected on the tron such that his head is roughly the same height as the entire Deadman, and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Asuka is on commentary for reasons.
Andrade “Cien” Almas vs. Rey Mysterio
Almas in control right away, putting boots to Mysterio, off the ropes, sliding knee connects! Elbow drop to follow it up, chops, whip across, Rey with a front kick, knucklelock into overhand chops, step-up tijeras! Charging in, back body drop to the apron, shoulder thrust, Zelina Vega interfering but Mysterio stays on the ball. Up top, diving, dropkick connects, and we go to break!
Back from commercial, Mysterio fighting back into it, springboard seated senton, tilt-a-whirl headscissors, solebutt... NOPE! Quebrada countered, suplex countered, drop toehold into the ropes but Almas gets up and fires of a back elbow that rocks Rey and gets him a two count! Three Amigos, but the third gets countered into a Frankensteiner and Mysterio follows with the 619!
Up top...
Rey Mysterio wins by pinfall with the diving splash.
A video package for Becky Lynch vs. Shayna Baszler follows to send us to break.
Back from commercial, Becky Lynch makes her entrance.
She gets on the mic and says this one is for Shayna. She knows her mere existence drives her crazy, because as long as she holds the title, Baszler’s world doesn’t make sense. She thinks she can just bully her way to the top, but you see Becky with the title and it shows that’s not how it has to be. She’s the prey that killed its predator, so don’t make the same mistake as the rest of them.
Every word, action, tweet, and interview are designed to make Shayna think exactly what Lynch wants. Cut through the rest of the division all you like, but Becky is a whole different proposition and that enrages her. But she wants Baszler to think of how it’s gonna feel to lose, because she’s watched her chew through the entire division, but at WrestleMania, she’s gonna prove her whole life is a lie, and it’s gonna hit her like a truck.
We see Shayna watching on a monitor somewhere and fuming.
And so we go to break.
Back from commercial, we get a recap of the NXT Women’s Championship feud.
Kevin Owens is interviewed backstage.
He talks about wrestling Seth Rollins at WrestleMania and says there’s no better place for it than the Performance Center, because he’s got the home field advantage. Seth never spent time here, but he started his WWE career here, went through the hardest parts of his WWE experience here, met people he considers like brothers and mentors, and when he and Rollins fight, he’ll add one more memory when he beats him in the same building where he earned his place in WWE.
And so we go to break.
Back from commercial, commentary hypes up next week’s show, featuring both Brock Lesnar and Drew McIntyre.
”Stone Cold” Steve Austin makes his entrance, catching a few beers and having himself a time.
He says he’s out here to make a declaration that from here on out, the 16th of March is a national holiday, and if you wanna know what 3:16 Day is all about, give him a hell yeah.
Byron Saxton gives him a hell yeah, and Steve gives him a “What?” before thanking him for his enthusiasm. 3:16 Day means when someone gives you a load of crap, you give it back to them by flipping them the bird. Saxton gives him an eight and Stone Cold continues with gibberish before realising the card was upside down, and says 3:16 Day is about opening a can of whoop ass on anyone you want, which gets a six from Saxton.
3:16 Day means the speed limit is only a suggestion, which gets a ten, and it also means not giving a damn, having a 24 hour happy hour, and when you burp, it’s poetry. That’s a nine. 3:16 Day is when your boss works for you, which is a seven. Steve takes issue with that but continues, saying 3:16 Day is when you can have beer instead of your morning coffee. That’s an eight.
3:16 Day means four-letter words are always acceptable, and that gets a five. Basically 3:16 Day means you can whip anybody’s ass and get away with it, and that’s the bottom line. Austin invites Byron to the ring to celebrate 3:16 Day with him, and calls for more Steveweisers. He asks Saxton how he’s doing and says he appreciates his work but thinks he could have been an easier judge.
Byron says he loves him and Steve says he loves him back, and he’d like to propose a toast to him, a 100% pure unadulterated jackass. They drink, kick to the gut... STUNNER!
Enter Becky Lynch, carrying a cooler.
She gets in the ring and Stone Cold reminds her the last time they were in a ring she hit him with a Stunner. She agrees to respect the sanctity of 3:16 Day and they have themselves a beer bash.
Steve draws Byron up again, dumps a beer out over his head... STUNNER!
That’s the show, folks.