So...this show was lame. It did very little to excite or to move feuds towards something exciting happening in the future. But at least one did fairly well, and that was the Edge/Orton feud that’s headlined Raw for a while now.
It started with MVP chilling in the ring with a microphone, where he said he’s still trying to start a managerial career. And to that end, he wants to manage Edge. Seems like a decent idea, right? Edge has an injury history; a manager might be able to help him manage his workload and maximize his longevity moving forward.
Uh...one problem, MVP. Edge has got his murder death eyes back, and they’re trained solely on Randy Orton.
Edge stormed the ring, ripped the mic from MVP, and screamed for Orton to grow a pair and face him. MVP was indignant at being ignored, and tried to tell Edge that his mental was off. MVP, I don’t know where you’ve been for Edge’s entire career, but his mental is always off. This man has never had any chill whatsoever. He goes full crazy eyes as soon as someone wrongs him in any way.
Sure enough, those crazy eyes whipped over to MVP and Edge Speared him without remorse. That was Orton’s opening for attack, but Edge fought him off and RKO’d him. He went for a conchairto, but Orton slipped away.
MVP got up to try to attack Edge, but Edge hit him with a nifty standing triangle choke that I really liked. It’s a good move for Edge and allows him to grab his hair/the side of his face and show off the crazy-eyed look that he’s perfected. He hit MVP with the conchairto before trying to chase down Orton.
Here’s my big issue with the segment…that’s all we got. It went to a commercial, and when they cut back Orton was just gone. I wanted more from this. It’s the one feud on Raw where I actively want more, and we didn’t get it. There was a real opportunity for Orton to try to slink back into the arena and for Edge to catch him, and instead it was just...fine.
Basically, if Edge is going full crazy-eyed, I want to see him go full crazy. Sounds reasonable, right?
Messiah’s back on track I guess
After Kevin Owens cost him at Elimination Chamber, Seth Rollins had a plan to make sure it couldn’t happen again by dividing up the resistance. He and his followers assaulted Owens backstage early in the show and approached Aleister Black with an offer to join them - a perfectly reasonable offer considering Black’s victory over AJ Styles at Elimination Chamber. Black gave a side glance at Murphy whose soul he basically owns at this point before declining. That lead to a threat from Rollins, and Black was all too happy to take the threat as an offer to fight.
What followed was basically an hour of wrestling to close out the show. Black and Rollins had a solid match that was stopped by interference when Black was causing too much trouble for the Messiah. Seems to be a trend for Black matches these days.
That led to the Viking Raiders and Street Profits running out to help Black and demanding an 8-man tag match. Rollins and his apostles or whatever agreed, and they had another fun match with the two tag teams. But all throughout the match, Owens’ absence was clear, and the good guys fell to Rollins in the end. When Owens finally made a run in at the end, it was too late; the team had been divided, and they all fell as a result.
...Not without Murphy taking absolutely awesome Stunner bump, though. All in all, this was solid, but had nothing truly exciting. If the show had had a few stellar moments, this would have been awesome. As it was, it just didn’t stick out enough on a show that really needed something to stick out.
Shiny Toys
Charlotte Flair’s toy analogy is pretty great when you consider who it’s coming from. She’s a Flair - wrestling royalty - and she gets whatever she wants as a result. So in essence...she’s entitled to the shiny new toys in wrestling. They’re hers to do with what she wants. And in this case, she wants to break the shiny new toy in Rhea Ripley.
Charlotte’s arrogance was in full effect here where she made the argument that Rhea’s never had to wrestle in front of 90,000 and that she’ll wilt under the pressure and adversity that comes with it. She chose to fight the NXT Champion because she wants to put the entire brand under her boot.
So what do you do if you’re Rhea Ripley and you’re getting talked down to so heavily? You punch said talker in the mouth. Nice! Interesting! Charlotte fell flat on her ass and had an incredible “no you did not, I’m seriously going to kill you now” face and...that was it. Again, this was another segment that just needed more juice. It was good, but not great at a time where we need great segments. WrestleMania Pirate Ship is so close, WWE!
The Rest
Becky Lynch recognizes Shayna Baszler - The show opened with Lynch talking up Baszler in a promo, and it just felt like more of the same from Elimination Chamber...and that’s really not a compliment, either. It was another effort to put over Baszler and hit all the right notes in theory - Lynch referencing how long she struggled to get over the Asuka thing only to see Baszler rip her to shreds, for example - but it just has no electricity to it. Nothing exciting is happening here.
Rey Mysterio def. Angel Garza - Your usual opening match of a show affair. Fast-paced with good workers, which made it a good time. It’s an...interesting match to make, especially after Andrade did away with Carrillo at Elimination Chamber. Are we going to Andrade/Mysterio again?
Bobby Lashley def. Zack Ryder - Four weeks until WrestleMania...and matches like this are happening.
Drew McIntyre def. Erick Rowan - Aww c’mon Drew, leave the spider alone! Also, four weeks until WrestleMania...and matches like this are happening.
Kabuki Warriors def. Natalya and Liv Morgan - So WWE had the option of doing the Riott Squad civil war inside a cage, and instead decided to do it as this yawn-inducing segment on an episode of Raw. Cool.
AJ Styles calls out Michelle McCool - I really don’t like this meta shit, man. We know the real reason Undertaker’s hanging around, WWE. That Saudi and WrestleMania money spends real well. We get it. AJ spent a segment calling Undertaker by his real name, informing everyone that he’s married to Michelle, and that he does whatever she tells him to do.
4th wall-breaking stuff is fun when it happens extremely rarely and with finesse. We see it way too often nowadays, and this was a sledgehammer through the damn wall.
Riddick Moss def. Cedric Alexander - Remember when the crowd at the Cruiserweight Classic was passionately chanting “Please sign Cedric!” a few years back? Life is suffering but at least there’s Saudi money. Enjoy Arby’s.
This show was just so completely average and par for the course for a WWE show. I’d normally give it a C, but we are literally a month from their biggest non-Saudi show of the year.
Do better, WWE.
Grade: D
Your turn.