...Yeah I hate myself for that title. Sorry.
When this show opened with Baron Corbin interrupting Roman Reigns - yet again - I had this immediate wave of apathy crash over me. This feud’s been so lengthy, and bluntly it’s really time to move on to something else. I thought we had done that at the Rumble, so this opener was disheartening.
But wait! Then the Usos revealed that they were challenging Corbin and his crew to one final match. They added a stipulation as well; the losers would eat dog food.
(Remember Geno or whoever it was on the site making that joke a few weeks back? Yup! They actually did it.)
And you know what? I’m cool with it. The stipulation was a clear feud-ender, and payback at last for that Corbin segment from...December, I believe. They closed the show with this match, and that stipulation went a long way in revving up the crowd for a fun finish. I don’t blame them, either. There were literal buckets of wet dog food at ringside. It was pretty clear that Corbin was gonna get a whole lot of that stuff dumped onto him.
And at the end of the match, that’s exactly what happened. The Usos and Reigns cuffed Corbin to the ring post and took their time to really enjoy paying Corbin back. I wasn’t a huge fan of Michael Cole screaming “The king’s covered in dog food!” over and over, but this is as clear an end to this feud as we could possibly have gotten. ...Right?
Reigns really needs to be on to bigger, better things next week. And as for Corbin, I really think he ought to disappear for a bit. I think heels should generally sneak away to nurse their wounds after definitive losses, and considering how Corbin’s already overexposed, I think it could do him some good to take a bit of a break from TV.
Not holding my breath on that, but we’ll see. Also, no one actually ate dog food which is the least they could have done for making us put up with all this dog food stuff for a month now.
Braun Strowman finally wins a championship
It’s pretty wild that it took this long, but Strowman’s finally a champion.
I think this is a really decent move by WWE, by the way. Shinsuke Nakamura, Sami Zayn, and Cesaro had almost become a lower-card act despite holding the Intercontinental Championship, and there’s really no storyline way to fix that sort of thing without giving the group some sort of impulse to evolve.
Losing a championship and giving Zayn a chance to truly play up the “we’re being victimized” routine? That’s got potential. I know this team lost pretty hard this week, but I do think the humiliation might launch them up the card, not down. Cesaro really needs some work so that he’s not just some henchman and Nakamura needs to evolve as well, but Zayn’s clearly already vocalizing the direction they’re moving towards.
As for Strowman? Again, it’s crazy that it’s taken him nearly 3 years since his awesome squash matches in 2017 to get to this point. WWE should have struck on his momentum years ago, but he still has tons of potential as a champion. He’s been in so few championship feuds that nearly anything he does will feel fresh.
In fact, mind if I pitch an idea for Strowman, Cageside? This would just be a one-off, but I want to see him challenge Chad Gable to a title match in a few weeks. I’m imagining a scenario where Sheamus is really hammering home that “too small” trash talk and Strowman offers the title shot to Gable as a form of encouragement. Strowman’s logic would basically be “Sheamus is dumb, you’re good, and hey - if being big matters, I’m clearly better than Sheamus so I’m the guy you should be trying to fight.”
Point is there’s potential to do new things with this title win. Let’s do those new things, WWE.
The Rest
Naomi confronts Bayley - Hey, I like this! Bayley was out in the ring being wayyy too cocky and basically saying that Charlotte needs to go ahead a challenge her already because she’s got SmackDown firmly under control. The recently-returned Naomi told her off and was charismatic as she told Bayley off - so much so that Bayley assaulted her before Naomi could finish her point.
Capitalizing on the momentum of Naomi’s return - I like it!
John Morrison and The Miz def. Heavy Machinery, Lucha House Party, the Revival - This was our opening match with the winner earning a title shot in Saudi Arabia. WWE seemed to be a lot less heavy-handed with the Saudi Arabia stuff this time, which I appreciate. I’m never going to like, watch, or support the Saudi shows, but I’m willing to be less vocal about it if it’s not just dominating the entire show for a month.
(...Slightly less vocal.)
Alexa Bliss, Nikki Cross def. Fire & Desire - Bliss Cross Applesauce looks to be picking up wins again. It feels like they’ve been fighting Fire & Desire a lot lately, and I’m not sure it’s really doing anything for them. I wish we had more depth to the female tag team division.
Otis and Mandy Rose are going on a date in two weeks - You know what? This is actually fun. Otis is all anxiety and Rose is being exceedingly kind and open about all this. There’s still this “ahaha he’s a big oaf” element that...isn’t bad in it’s own right, but it’ll be really lame if Rose turns heel on the guy. Hope that’s not what happens.
Sheamus def. Chad Gable - This feud really needs something other than the “look upon my height, short man!” stuff that we’ve seen gratuitously in WWE over the past few years. Right now, this feels like the lowest thing on the card of SmackDown and that sucks.
This wasn’t the most entertaining show, nor was it one that’d I’d say you needed to watch. But it did provide some encouraging moments that could pave the way to fun down the road.
Grade: C
Your turn.