I knew that Miz and Morrison would be absolutely dreadful and I still put myself through the MizTv segment. That’s my fault. I absolutely hate this duo. Their jokes are bad, they act like 5th grade schoolyard bullies.
“Money in the Brank” was pretty funny, though. Nowhere near “McInfart”! Miz and Morrison attacked Sheamus during the segment no one should care about, and Drew was nowhere to be found. That’s… real friendly.
Later in the tag match, McIntyre started by bulldozing through Morrison. He tossed Miz and Morrison all over the place.
Sheamus got down to the floor and started getting in Styles’ face while he was on commentary and Miz tried to take advantage, but Sheamus saw it coming.
Styles caused a DQ and wanted Miz to cash in the briefcase, as he said he’d help Miz do before this match (mentioned below) and Miz was mad at him for interfering. But Miz then decided he wanted to cash in and then Drew woke up and destroyed Miz and Morrison.
Then one of the best moments of the show happened. Jordan took AJ off the apron and had him up on his shoulders, and he was holding him like a 5 year old getting carried away from the playground.
I’m intrigued to see AJ and Drew and how Jordan gets to play big hoss versus Drew. Also they’ve never faced each other before and that’s a welcome sight. More first time match-ups please!
Also also, I was sure that Sheamus was going to turn on Drew and I’m glad it didn’t happen. All they did was talk about how they’re best friends and it usually telegraphs things to come, but I’m glad they pivoted on that.
Matt Riddle’s promos are dog shit, bro. Doing the Fat Bastard “I’m dead sexy” from Austin Powers? Bro. No, bro. The rabbit and turtle stuff with AJ? My goodness. Dog shit.
AJ and Riddle both sold their asses off for Keith Lee. Keith is such a great agile big man.
Keith tossed AJ across the ring so hard he slid into the ringpost and it sent him to the floor. Riddle got himself out of a Spirit Bomb and tried to lock an armbar in, and Keith used Riddle as a weapon to take out Styles. I love shit like this.
KEITH LEE KICKED OUT OF A STYLES PIN AND STYLES LANDED ON RIDDLE HAHAHAHA!!!
This match was really fun, even knowing who was going to win. They’re murdering Riddle, dropping his first name and giving him these awful promos. Exactly what everyone was worried would happen. Keith Lee had a great showing here, and it’s nice to see him in more matches with actual finishes.
Miz and Morrison came up to Styles and Styles said he’d help Miz cash in so that he could face him at TLC instead of Drew, which makes a whole bunch of sense. Though I know somehow Styles would end up losing that match because… it’s WWE.
A Moment of Bliss - Randy Orton made a nice comparison between he and The Fiend. Both of them hear voices in their head. I really like the history between these two. Alexa playing with Orton with the considerable size difference looked awesome, too. She is the Fiend’s weakness and I guess that tells you that even a monster can find true love.
Slapjack def. Ricochet - Wow I did not think they would put that stellar Ricochet promo from Twitter on television. Oh my God the RETRIBUTION entrance production. These people should be fired. Ricochet kept his eyes on Ali for the first few moments and Slapjack took advantage. I absolutely hate that now that RETRIBUTION has been signed and made part of the WWE regular roster, the “heel” announcer is on their side. C’mon. I don’t need to hear Joe against Ricochet just because he’s a babyface.
Dana Brooke appeared out of nowhere and slapped Ali for when Reckoning did last week or the week before. (The days blend in with each other now.) Then Slapjack pinned Ricochet with a really nice looking move. (Claire has called it a Lightning Spiral.) It looked pretty vicious so that’s nice to see at least. Honestly, I hate most of this team’s booking, but I am intrigued to see what would happen if Ricochet joined them.
Dana Brooke def. Reckoning - L-O-L. Come on, man. She lost the match and her mask in the first 10 seconds of the match. Good win for Dana but like… come on, man.
Cedric Alexander def. Xavier Woods - New Day spent their promo time before the match showing us exactly why there’s no point in WWE giving anyone from Hurt Business a match against anyone of New Day. Cedric came out and said he was not Shelton (sowing seeds of dissension from last week!) and attacked Woods. Cedric is such a great seller. Woods is excellent at everything. Let’s all be honest with each other. We knew that once Woods mentioned that he was hosting the G4 he was losing tonight. WWE can’t make anyone look good heading into a non-WWE project and Hurt Business needs to continue getting tag title matches.
Where are the other Raw tag teams? Actually, who are the other tag teams? I already don’t remember. Lucha House Party are 24/7 fodder. Ivar is out injured, Garza and Andrade are split, I actually WANT them to split Miz and Morrison, there’s like… no teams anymore. Cedric won and celebrated up the ramp by himself. He was suuuper hyped up. Hmmm.
Jeff Hardy def. Elias - This feud was continuing on Main Event, but then they had to bring it back on Raw, even after Jeff Hardy already technically won the feud after the guitar on a pole match. The 24/7 stuff had to intertwine as Truth hid in a piano and Elias and Jeff both attacked Lucha House Party and Drew Gulak! Jerks! They played with some drums, Elias ran into a gong, Elias got electrocuted, Jeff went to the top of the ringpost and Swanton Bombed Elias through a table while slamming his own head into the steel steps.
Commentary then said that Jeff finally put an end to this rivalry, but he literally did that weeks ago with the other match. And we all know it’s most likely that this feud still isn’t going to be done.
Asuka and Lana def. Nia and Shayna - There are two stories going on here. One - WWE management has no regard for Lana’s well-being by continuing to have her anywhere near Nia and Shayna, and Two - WWE management have nothing for the Raw women’s champion. This is just stupid now.
I don’t know if this is true but this show felt like a show that was written very, very late today. Some parts were really good, like the triple threat and Alexander and Woods. Raw just seems like an endless cycle of mediocre and just enough creativity that puts a smile on my face enough to warrant a grade higher than a C- every week.
What were your thoughts, Cagesiders?