Both Otis and Jey Uso were victims of vicious attacks on Friday Night SmackDown this week, Otis at the hands — and a chair — of Uso himself and Uso at the hands of Kevin Owens. This is WWE, so you know we had to get an “injury update” on them both.
Those injury updates are hilarious.
First, we’re told Otis was evaluated and said evaluation, and this is actually what they’re saying, “revealed multiple areas of contusions and tenderness of the muscles throughout the thoracic spine region. Examination of the bony regions of the thoracic spine and ribs did not reveal any abnormalities.”
Meanwhile, Uso was also evaluated and his revealed “bilateral upper extremity weakness as a result of stretching of the lower cervical nerve roots from the chair strikes. The belief is that this weakness is temporary and should resolve over the next few days.”
That’s all a really fancy way of saying they’re hurtin’ just a lil’ bit but they’re perfectly fine and, really, not actually injured at all.