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Billie Kay’s resumé proves she does have ‘an extensive background in talking’

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The Universe demanded a look at the headshot/resumé Billie Kay has been offering to everyone from Mr. Profits to “Hey Kayla!” every Friday night. And both the WWE on FOX twitter account and Natalya were kind enough to share it with us.

It’s kind of hard to read without blowing it up, so I transcribed it. Don’t say I never did anything for you.

Billie Kay
Orlando, FL | (555) 867-5309 | billie.kay@wwecorp.com

Work History

WWE Superstar, 01/2017 to Current
WWE — Stamford, CT
WWE Superstar

- Effectively communicated with diverse group of athletes, coaches and game officials using dynamic listening and open-ended questioning skills.

- Helped new team members acclimate to procedures, collaborate with fellow athletes and enhance competitive performances.

- Successfully marketed, sold and secured sponsorship contracts with WWE.

- Trained extensively 200 hours per week for upcoming competitions to perform at top-level.

- Exhibited excellent teamwork and strong work ethic by promoting camaraderie.

- Optimized nutrition, training regimens and lifestyle choices to keep fitness at optimal levels.

- Developed and maintained key relationships fellow athletes, coaching staff and school administrators and professors.

- Worked with coaches and trainers to understand and implement improvement strategies.

- Monitored competitor activities to assess strategies and gain advantages in future matches.

- Applied discipline and sense of responsibility toward all team and personal activities.

- Determined areas in need of improvement and optimized strategies to strengthen performance.

- Joined international wressling [sic] events to promote sport and represent country with professionalism.

WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion, 04/2019 to 08/2020
WWE — Stamford, CT

- Maintained poise, optimism and bounced back quickly after mistakes to show co-champion how to respond to negative situations.

- Acted as positive role model to set tone for work ethic of program and enhanced leadership credibility with co-champion and coaches.

- Invested time to build and strengthen relationships with teammate by inquiring about individual challenges and goals.

- Challenged co-champion to get better and work harder by constructively confronting negativity, pessimism and laziness.

- Monitored and maintained team chemistry by continually reminding co-champion about common goal and common bond.

- Monitored competitor activities to assess strategies and gain advantages in future matches.

- Exhibited excellent teamwork and strong work ethic by promoting camaraderie.

A few things jump out at you, one of which is how lucky Kay is to have scored the phone number Tommy Tutone made famous in the early 1980s!

Another is that while Billie’s got standard business buzzwords and resumé jargon down, she’s still made some key mistakes... notably the missing preposition in the bullet point about “developing and maintaining key relationships” and the typo in final item under “WWE Superstar”.

But fear not. She has experience implementing “improvement strategies”, so she’ll get those fixed pronto:

Lastly, this doesn’t paint a terribly flattering picture of her former IIconics teammate Peyton Royce. Billie is such a trooper to have helped her through all that pessimism and laziness!

Surely, someone will give this enterprising woman a job on Friday nights soon, right?