WWE SmackDown Live (June 4, 2019) – Abridged

discount Marvel movie intro, then/now/whatever

it’s a new day, yes it is

KOFI: life’s wack, had a long career, champ now, wanna inspire folks

VIDEO: Kofi’s from Ghana, went there, inspired folks

KOFI: yep

suddenly DOLPH

DOLPH: Kofi’s inspirin, imma talk bout me tho, had a long career too, Kofi got a belt tho, shoulda been me

KOFI: ya quit one time tho, I didn’t, thus belt, imma win at ShowDown

DOLPH: beat ya up few weeks back, same deal at ShowDown

here’s KO and SAMI, they’re fightin XAVIER and KOFI

SAMI: here cause wild card, Xav gets backpunches

XAVIER: dropkick pin

SAMI: nah not yet

XAVIER: wanna do armwrenches

SAMI: why not

KOFI: tag

KO: tag

KOFI: punch related offense

KO: neat but angrybeef

SAMI: tag

KOFI: have a corner

XAVIER: tag, gonna stampede ya

SAMI: imma just take a floor

XAVIER: imma jumpyfollow

SAMI: then imma get in the ring

XAVIER: k me too

KO: nah don’t

XAVIER: why I never

XAVIER face in perils til

KOFI: tag, pin

SAMI: k

DOLPH: surprise

KOFI: oh

DOLPH punchykills KOFI and XAVIER

SHANE: punched Roman a bunch on Raw

BEAR: yep, was literally there

SHANE: imma beat Roman at ShowDown, callin out Roman tonite, hope he shows up

ACKBAR: issa trap

well it’s BLISS’s show

BLISS: here cause wild card, imma talk with Bayley

BAYLEY: well hi

BLISS: need better coffee tho

BAYLEY: wanna ask me anythin

BLISS: coffee first, want your belt tho

BAYLEY: um

BLISS: ooh more coffee

BAYLEY: coffeeslap

BLISS: UM

suddenly MELLA

MELLA: sup Bayley, want your belt

BAYLEY: um

suddenly CHARLOTTE

CHARLOTTE: sup Bayley, want your belt, Shane’s havin us all fight to fight for it later

meanwhile backstage

TRUTH: hi Mella

MELLA: why you hidin

TRUTH: been callin Shane for help

PHONE: RINGEDY RING RING

TRUTH: sup Shane, hate havin this belt

PHONE:

TRUTH: you’re bookin a match for the belt huh

PHONE:

TRUTH: and it’s next huh

PHONE:

TRUTH: need to get to the ring huh

PHONE:

TRUTH: k bye

BEAR: abridgin phone calls is hard folks

here’s ELIAS, LUMBERJACKS round the ring

HAM: only Elias can pin Truth during the match tho

ELIAS: have a floor Truth

JACKS: have a ring Truth

ELIAS: have a pin Truth

TRUTH: k

JACKS: gonna pin ya then

ELIAS: crawl awayyy

TRUTH: sup

meanwhile JACKS doin top rope overthrowin cause battle royal at ShowDown

TRUTH: also pin

ELIAS: k

TRUTH: run awayyy

BLACK’s on the tron

BLACK: someone plz fight me

here’s a heel dad with money, also REVIVAL cause wild card

SHANE: hey Ham say the thing

HAM: SHANE’S BEST IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD

SHANE: imma neuter Roman at ShowDown

BEAR: um

suddenly ROMAN

SHANE: hey Revival, get im

ROMAN: lol imma overcome em

SHANE: come fight me then

ROMAN: k

DREW: facekick, issa trap

ACKBAR: tolja

SHANE spears ROMAN, ROMAN does not overcome things

CHARLOTTE/BLISS/MELLA fight to fight BAYLEY for her belt, insert standard triple threat, suddenly FIREDESIRE

MELLA: stop distractin me

BLISS: offense, thanks for distractin Mella

CHARLOTTE: moar offense, thanks for distractin Bliss

FIREDESIRE: whatever

standard triple threat continues til

CHARLOTTE: totally gonna win

FIREDESIRE: gonna grab Charlotte

BLISS: aaaaaaaand pin

CHARLOTTE: k

TOM: member how Bork didn’t cash after Baron murderdeathkilled Seth on Raw

BEAR: made even less sense live

KAYLA: here’s Lars

here he in fact is

KAYLA: hey Lars, why you been murderdeathkillin folks, how bout that

LARS: cause folks were mean

BEAR: um

KAYLA: you’re fightin Luchas at ShowDown, how bout that

LARS: do you like nursery rhymes

BEAR: this physically hurts

here’s ANDRADE fightin APOLLO

APOLLO: totally got a chance

ANDRADE: have all the offense

APOLLO: oh

suddenly FINN

FINN: have all the offense

VEGA: imma distract you

FINN: I am as usual distracted

ANDRADE: hammerlock ddt

FINN: ow

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDBERG, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDBERG

UNIVERSE: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDBERG

GOLDBERG: daww thanks, been waitin a while to fight Taker, imma beat him at ShowDown

suddenly GONG

TAKER: Hello, Goldberg.

GOLDBERG: well hi

suddenly GONG, TAKER’s gone

GOLDBERG: Taker better tighten his jock at ShowDown

BEAR: um

TOM, GRAVES, BYRON: Showdown’s soon