The True Fight for Our Planet

SmackDown Tag Team championship match

Daniel Bryan & Rowan (c) vs. Heavy Machinery

Can you imagine a bigger match? Big Eco vs. Big Industry! The Green Machine vs. The Heavy Machine! The...

...okay, yes. It’s not some big must-see match. But at least there’s a little interesting hook to it.

The Road to Stomping Grounds

Coming out of the Superstar Shakeup, The Planet’s Champion Daniel Bryan said these words...

“...The SmackDown Tag Team division is a joke.”

And I’m not saying he’s right, Cageside, but let’s have a quick social experiment. Name three tag teams that are assigned to the SmackDown brand.

I’ll wait.

…

(Actually, I won’t. Got a preview to write. I’m sure you understand.)

Anyway! The funny thing about it is that after Bryan’s “joke” claim, the joke-iest team of them all answered the challenge: Heavy Machinery. Tucker plays it pretty straight, of course, but Otis...Otis.

Otis, man.

The two teams have had some dueling promos, with Heavy Machinery dropping some WWE-styled catchphrases and tropes. Otis even said they like to “have a good time” in the promo before they fought the Yolo County Tag Team Champions.

It’s the sort of stuff that can make your eyes roll and your brain turn to mush, but Daniel Bryan brought it back into the realm of interesting on the go-home show to Stomping Grounds. He was on commentary as Heavy Machinery fought B-Team and he sounded frustrated. Frustrated and angry.

During that match, Bryan saw his opponents do so much that would make them a legitimately daunting foe. But those moments are wasted when they “try to have fun” afterwards. And despite no real physicality between these teams so far, there’s at least that little nugget that might come into play on Sunday.

What’s at stake?

Pretty much just the titles, but no one expects Heavy Machinery to actually win, right?

I think the bigger thing at stake here is some character progression for Heavy Machinery. Bryan’s frustrations with them should play a big part in this match, in my opinion. He should try to punish them for their jokes. And hey, he’s trying to make this world a better place, right? Mold them into a proper tag team, Bryan. Force them to be what you want them to be.

I expect the jokes to get punished and Heavy Machinery to lose in a short-to-average-timed match.