WWE SmackDown (June 18, 2019) – Abridged

discount Marvel movie intro, then/now/whatever

it’s a new day, yes it is

XAVIER: Kofi’s cagefightin Dolph at Stompyground, imma fight Dolph tonite

E: SDL’s second hour should be freaky hour

BEAR: um

suddenly DOLPH

DOLPH: yall suck, Kofi can’t win on his own, imma cagegrind ya at Stompyground

KOFI: been in cages before, imma win at Stompyground, Xavier’s gonna win tonite

DOLPH: nah, imma cagegrind ya at Stompyground

BEAR: ya said that

DOLPH: shoulda been me

now DOLPH’s fightin XAVIER

DOLPH: imma leggrab ya

XAVIER: I am slightly inconvenienced, have grappypins

DOLPH: nah, also grappypins

XAVIER: also nah, have ropes, backkick pin

DOLPH: nah, wanna punch a bunch

XAVIER: let’s

DOLPH: have a corner

XAVIER: honor roll, top rope time

suddenly KO and SAMI

KO, SAMI: New Day gets beatemups

XAVIER: yall get a dive

REF: also errybody leave

DOLPH: also offense

XAVIER: welp

XAVIER face in perils til

XAVIER: have the floor, dropkick, gutbuster pin

DOLPH: nah, superkick, zig zag, ropetie armbar

XAVIER: very ow

DOLPH: superkick pin

XAVIER: k

meanwhile backstage at BARON’s office

B TEAM: saw Seth chairthumpin folks, still wanna guest ref

SHELTON: yep

MATT: welp you’re next

well it’s BLISS’s show, also NIKKI’s there

BLISS: hi, Nikki’s here, Bayley’s soon, need coffee

suddenly BAYLEY

BAYLEY: got my coffee, never mean tweeted Nikki

BLISS: crushed her dreams tho

BAYLEY: Bliss ain’t your friend, she kinda sucks

BLISS: ya made me feel bad tho, plus ya dress bad

BAYLEY: didn’t tho, you’re a bad friend, plus you’re entitled

BLISS: nah just better than ya

BAYLEY: you’re a parasite, I’m champ

BLISS: ya peaked in NXT

BAYLEY: k have facepunches

NIKKI: hey maybe don’t

BAYLEY: k I won’t

BLISS: surprise punch

BAYLEY: ow

meanwhile backstage

APOLLO: hey Vega, where’s Andrade

ANDRADE: right here, have beatemups

GABLE: how very interesting

HEAVIES fightin B TEAM, insert standard tag match til

HEAVIES: compactor pin

BO: k

suddenly SETH

SETH: hi B Team, have chairthumps

BEAR: I love this so much

meanwhile at SHANE’s limo

SAMI: so Seth chairthumped B Team

KO: Seth and Kofi both suck

SHANE: so fight em tonite cause SDL playaplayaplaya

KO, SAMI: sure I guess

meanwhile backstage

BLACK: SOMEONE PLZ FIGHT ME

here’s a heel dad with money and ELIAS and DREW

SHANE: Ham don’t say the thing

HAM: k

SHANE: Roman overcame things at Raw, Drew’s pretty great tho

DREW: imma beat Roman at Stompyground

AWWWWWWW SAAAAAAAAAM cause wild card

SHANE: why

MIZ: cause Roman punchin ya in slo mo’s real funny

SHANE: your dad’s still a potato

MIZ: your show sucks cause you’re top heel

BEAR: UM

VINCE: YES UM

MIZ: plus you suck

SHANE: nah, better than ya, your fightin Drew and Elias next with any partner

TRUTH: don’t mind me, just millin around

MIZ: pickin him

SHANE: neat

meanwhile backstage

IICONICS: AOP’s ew, so’s Kabukis

PAIGE: fight em for your belts then

IICONICS: nah

PAIGE: happenin in Tokyo tho

IICONICS: oh

now AWSAMTRUTH’s fightin DREWLIAS elimination style cause SDL playaplayaplaya

ELIAS: have beefybumps

TRUTH: tag, leg drop pin

ELIAS: nah

TRUTH: have jiveybonks tho

DREW: tag, I am very big

TRUTH: welp

SHANE: and Miz gets beatemups

ELIAS: tag, pin

TRUTH: k

TRUTH’s out, suddenly LOCKER ROOM

SHELTON: imma just run with 24/7 belt for a bit

TRUTH: got it now, run awayyy

MIZ: welp

MIZ face in perils til

MIZ: Elias gets a corner, imma rally, ddt pin

ELIAS: nah

MIZ: never works, it kicks

DREW: headbutt, tag, claymore pin

MIZ: k

SHANE: is it beatemups time

DREW: it’s beatemups time

it in fact is

TOM, BYRON, GRAVES: WWE Network tho

meanwhile backstage

EMBER: sup FireDesire

FIREDESIRE: got all the donuts

EMBER: stop insulting me

SONYA: won’t, have beatemups

EMBER: likewise

REFS: hey maybe don’t

here’s BRAY’s creepy kid show again, still scary

TRUTH: runnin time, where’s Mella

REF: hi

MELLA-ISH: also hi, got a Mella wig

TRUTH: ya ain’t Mella

DRAKE: it me, pin

TRUTH: k

DRAKE: drive awayyy

REF: but muh car

now SETHKOFI’s fightin SAMIKO 2 outta 3 style cause SDL playaplayaplaya

KOFI: trouble in paradise pin

SAMI: k

REF: first fall’s SethKofi

KO: welp here’s angrybeef

SETHKOFI: ropeyjumps tho

KO: ddt pin

SETH: nah

KO: never works

MIZ: I know right

SAMI: tag, general beatemups

SETH face in perils til

SETH: blockbuster

KOFI: tag, imma zoom, ropeyjump pin

SAMI: nah, blue thunder bomb pin

KOFI: nah

KO: tag

SETH: also tag, double dives, ropeyjump, curbstomp

KO: superkick

SETH: likewise, curbstomp pin

KO: k

REF: second fall’s SethKofi so they win

SETH, KOFI: yay