When Big E went out with a knee injury shortly after WrestleMania 35, it created an opening for Kevin Owens to befriend and then betray his brothers in The New Day. It also meant we got less of his signature brand of sexy weirdness on our televisions, and on Austin Creed’s YouTube channel, since he’s not on the road when they do a lot of UpUpDownDown filming.
It did leave Large Epsilon with more time on his hands to tweet. Which may be driving him crazy, but is very entertaining for nerds like me.
That’s meant a lot of television reviews, live tweeting of combat sports, and occasionally $#!+talking friends like Xavier Woods and Wale. The rest of the time, well, E is aware there might be an issue...
Every day I fight the urge to tweet something wild, throw my phone into my backyard and run away.— Florida Man (@WWEBigE) May 2, 2019
My mind, while off the road: pic.twitter.com/hodOYcqdul— Florida Man (@WWEBigE) May 6, 2019
And it’s not like we don’t set him up for things like (almost) taking shots at his employer, or his signature brand of sleazy fun times:
When we get healt—-healthier catering options. https://t.co/Hgak49QifY— Florida Man (@WWEBigE) May 2, 2019
When @XavierWoodsPhD let’s me put my whole mouth on his trombone. https://t.co/Hgak49QifY— Florida Man (@WWEBigE) May 2, 2019
He also gets encouragement with reminders like this that he is not, in fact, the strangest member of the WWE or even SmackDown roster:
Same. Even though I met my mortal demise in 2011, I still use it to document my Hologram’s downward spiral as it haunts & terrorizes the planet. But I also use it to get my kids over so they have an easier path to making entertainment compensation in the future.— Matt Hardy, REDEFINED (@MATTHARDYBRAND) May 6, 2019
May 6, 2019
This apparently isn’t the first time E’s let his pen flow freely to express his truth, either. Anyone else want to launch a GoFundMe to ensure he finishes this novel?
I, a fool, once fashioned myself a writer. The following is a random excerpt from 40 pages I completed in 2015 before giving up on my novelist pipe dream. pic.twitter.com/GMu3bp71Z6— Florida Man (@WWEBigE) May 6, 2019
Or should I say... for Dr. Van Nostrand to finish it?
Frankly, it’s far too lewd to attach my name to while under contract. I’d need a pseudonym. Like “Dr. Martin Van Nostrand” or “Slappy Black.” https://t.co/ZSm4qJnRSj— Florida Man (@WWEBigE) May 6, 2019
How to close a post like this? Take it away Big Man...
I said what I said.— Florida Man (@WWEBigE) May 3, 2019