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WWE SmackDown Live (April 2, 2019) – Abridged

In which everyone brawls cause Mania’s soon.

WWE.com

BEAR: fyi not abridging Mania or other ppvs cause it’d just be match descriptions, time to abridge things

discount Marvel movie intro, then/now/whatever

it’s KO show time

KO: Mania’s soon, here’s Randy

yep, rampsnake’s gone tho

KO: and AJ

also yep

KO: hey Randy, you rkod AJ last week, how bout that

RANDY: Kurt’s old, AJ sucks, match woulda sucked

AJ: you have one move

RANDY: but it kills, indie dudes suck

AJ: you did drugs

RANDY: you suck tho

AJ: you mentioned that

KO: omg just brawl already

they in fact do

BLACKOCHET and USOS fight BAR and NAKARUSEV cause SDL playaplayaplaya

CESARO: me first, Ricochet gets a corner

RICOCHET: imma flip tho, rollypin

CESARO: nah, uppercut

SHEAMUS: tag, ropethrows

RICOCHET: imma kick tho

BLACK: tag, leggybeef, pin

SHEAMUS: nah

USO: tag uce

USO: also tag uce

SHEAMUS: nah uce

NAK: tag

USO: imma ropeybounce uce

RUSEV: go over em, have stairs and a wall, pin

USO: nah but that escalated quickly uce

SHEAMUS: face in peril for a bit

USO: fine uce

he does til all the finishers and

USOS: tag, doublekick, pin uce

RUSEV: k

suddenly BLISS

BLISS: Mania’ll be neat, moment of bliss > KO show, Usos fight Blackochet and Bar and NakaRusev at Mania now

USOS: but we just beat em

OTHER TEAMS: don’t care, brawl time

it in fact is

suddenly IICONICS

PEYTON: Mania’s soon, Usos gonna fight there

BEAR: we know, Bliss just said

BILLIE: we’re gonna fight at Mania too

PEYTON: all other taggers suck

IICONICS: gonna win at Mania

UNIVERSE: neat

AWWWWWWWW SAAAAAAAAAAAM

MIZ: Mania’s soon, my show’s great, my family’s cool, imma beat Shane all around the place at Mania cause he beat my dad

suddenly helicopters

MIZ: so who’s fightin me

SAnity: us

MIZ: which one

SAnitY: yes

MIZ: ah

suddenly a heel dad with money

SHANE: wanna see ya die, tell em ring guy

RING GUY: SHANE’S BEEEEEEEEEST IN THE WOOOOOOORLD

MIZ: punches for days

SAnitY: adorable, die

he does til

MIZ: imma rally

SHANE: hey Miz, this match is falls count anywhere, how bout that

MIZ: don’t care, imma rally more

unabridgable backstage beatemups ensue til

MIZ: imma zoom a cart, pin

ERIC: k

suddenly a cop car

THE MAN: welp it’s me

BEAR: HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS DUMB FEUD

COREY: member how unabridgeable kickycrashy chaos happened on Raw, here’s The Man

THE MAN: imma stand on a table

TOM, COREY, BYRON: cool

THE MAN: went to jail, back now, changed the game all year, Mania’s soon, imma main event, imma be doublechamp

CONOR: don’t that sound familiar

here’s Andre and Women’s battle royal folks, they fight til

LACEY: hi, bye

BEAR: hate you more than Emmalina, didn’t know that was possible

Andre and Women battle royal folks fight more til

TRUTHMELLA: dancytime

FOLKS: nah, brawl

unabridgeable brawlyfun ensues

BEAR: k mixed battle royal now plz

TOM, BYRON, COREY: Mania’s soon

JOE’s fightin ALI now

JOE: imma just beef ya to death

ALI: zoom beats beef tho, pin

JOE: nah, imma dodge

GOHAN: no comment

JOE: coquina clutch

ALI: k imma sleep

suddenly BRYAN and ROWAN

COLE: so I’m here, Mania’s soon, here’s Kofi

also E and XAVIER

COLE: hey Kofi-

UNIVERSE: CHANTY CHANTY CHANT CHANT

BRYAN: shut up, imma sign the thing

UNIVERSE: MOAR CHANTY CHANT

BRYAN: Universe needs educatin, Kofi sucks, took him 11 years, he’s a freeloading B+ player, Universe sucks

KOFI: nah you need educatin, waited 11 years for right freakin now, imma win at Mania, imma sign the thing

BEAR: perfect

TOM: also Mania’s soon

BEAR: NO REALLY

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