BEAR: dinner ran late, missed the first hour, sorry folks, time to abridge things
TOM: Charlotte won the belt
BEAR: of course she did
AWWWWWWW SAAAAAAAAAM
MIZ: Shane hit me then my dad, I’m mad so falls count anywhere at Mania
suddenly SECURITY and JOBBERS and a heel dad with money
SHANE: hey ring dude, say what I told you
RING DUDE: SHAAAAANE’S BEEEEEEST IN THE WOOOOOOORLD
SHANE: really loved hittin you and your dad, falls count anywhere’s cool, imma beat you at Mania, wish I beat up your dad more cause you suck
MIZ: k die
SECURITY: hey maybe don’t
MIZ: wet tissue paper says what
SECURITY: welp
MIZ: anyone else
JOBBERS: um us I guess
SaNiTy: ESPECIALLY US
MIZ: ow but also beatemups and jumparounds in the crowd
SaNiTy: ow
MIZ: now where was I
SHANE: bye
MIZ: aww
suddenly flashback
NEW DAY: hey Vince, whatup with screwing Kofi
VINCE: y’all win a tag gauntlet and Kofi goes to Mania
suddenly flashforward
IICONICS: gonna win the tag belts at Mania
E, WOODS: k so who’s gauntleting first
suddenly BULLETCLUB
WOODS: let’s freakin go
KARL: but offense
WOODS: hey aren’t ya leavin soon
LUKE: sigh yes
WOODS: pin
LUKE: k
suddenly NAKARUSEV
NAK: strong style, tag
WOODS: lemme guess, beef
RUSEV: for days
WOODS: welp
a large amount of beef ensues til
E: tag, beef
RUSEV: tag
E: neat have stairs
RUSEV: machka kick
NAK: tag, pin
WOODS: nah
BEAR: IT’S SO FREAKING FAST
WOODS: imma-
RANDY: as I said, don’t care
WOODS: dive
E: tag, beatemups
WOODS: tag, upupdowndown, pin
NAK: k
suddenly BAR
BAR: E gets rest holds
E: this bothers me cause reasons
CESARO: swiiiiiiiiing, sharpshooter
E: nah
SHEAMUS: cool imma stomp your knee
E: ow but imma rally
WOODS: tag, imma zoom
BAR: we are very zoomed
WOODS: pin to Cesaro
SHEAMUS: maybe don’t
E: tag
CESARO: moar rest holds plz
E: but I am very big
WOODS: tag
CESARO: also tag, pin
WOODS: nah
CESARO: imma jump then
E: nah you won’t
WOODS: rollypin
SHEAMUS: k but beatemups after
WOODS: really
E: why tho
BAR: we’re heels, E gets a table
suddenly USOS
USO: we fought the New Day a bunch uce
USO: Kofi should fight at Mania uce
USOS: we forfeit uce
NEW DAY: YAY
BRYAN: NAH
ROWAN: VERILY NAY
RING DUDE: one more team tho
suddenly PLANETCHAMPS
BRYAN: E’s leg gets a post
ROWAN: and Woods’ face getteth mine fist
E: imma rally tho
BRYAN: but muh rest hold
WOODS: but imma jump
ROWAN: mayhap do not
WOODS: get outta the ring
E: BEEEEEEEEEEEF, pin
ROWAN: verily nay, tag, pin
E: nah
ROWAN: I espy a table
WOODS: neat, espy this post
E: imma flip a desk on ya
REF: ten
ROWAN: k
RING DUDE: Kofi’s in Mania
NEW DAY: VERY YAY
INTERVIEWER: hey Vince, Kofi’s goin to Mania, how bout that
VINCE: Kofi’s B+ tho
meanwhile all the SDL faces come to the ring
SDL FACES: nah