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WWE Raw results, recap, reactions (Dec. 30, 2019): All about me

Welp. Hope you liked the decade of WWE wrestling, folks.


I don’t even know what to say. I can usually just ramble to myself sitting here at my desk until I have words, but like...what do you say about this Lana/Lashley stuff?


It’s the wildest thing ever, and yet I care absolutely nothing about any of it. I decided halfway through this episode to watch a basketball game that I cared about more than this whole wedding stuff; I was going to record the rest of Raw and finish it up after the game. I figured I could just fast forward past anything exceedingly annoying. Turns out they needed an overrun that I didn’t account for, which had me scouring the internet to see the rest.

And WOW. Okay then, I guess.

The one thing I like about all of this is how far Lana’s gone to make this all about her. That part is decent. The rest I have absolutely no interest in. Here’s the gist of what happened: Lana’s first husband - some dude before Rusev - objected to the marriage, saying that Lana married him the day she turned 18. She ditched him for Rusev. Then, Lashley’s first wife came out and that was a whole thing for a moment.

And then...lord, here we go. And then Liv Morgan came out to object over the whole thing, crying out “how could you do this to me?” And when Lashley denied any history with Morgan, Liv set the record straight: she was talking about Lana. So they had a fling too, I guess.

And then Rusev jumped out of the cake to end this whole thing by beating Lashley up.

I don’t know, man. I don’t - I don’t know. They’ve broken me. There’s nothing else to say. I have nothing meaningful to add.


What a decade for women’s wrestling

So if we just rinse our brains from whatever that was, let’s talk about a cool moment on this show with Charlotte wrestling Natalya.

Charlotte wanted to announce that she was going to be in the Royal Rumble, and made a point of saying she’d be the first person of the decade to declare that.’s December 30th, 2019, Charlotte.

Despite that, fair enough. She was out in her ring gear and said she wanted a fight. Natalya answered the call, and it’s a great callback to one of the bigger moments in women’s wrestling this decade. Way back in 2014, these two fought for the NXT Women’s Championship in the first ever NXT Takeover. What a great way to celebrate a decade.

From that match to removing the Divas label, main eventing NXT Takeover, headlining WrestleMania...what a ride. That really is the defining story of this decade, isn’t it? Women’s wrestling went from an afterthought to arguably the best part of WWE-branded shows.

These two had a solid match and got a lot of time. And none of that is surprising at all. That, in itself, shows how much has changed in just a few years.

(...But then the wedding sort of stuff happens to prove that it hasn’t changed that much after all.)

AJ Styles actually fell for it

When Randy Orton came out to talk about his knee injury, you didn’t really need to know about the reports to feel like this was just story stuff. I mean he was wearing a brace you could’ve gotten from a Walgreens, you know what I mean? And he was very vague on what the MRI showed as well.

And none of this makes this story where it doesn’t work, to be clear. All it means is that this wasn’t ever going to be a Mark Henry salmon jacket situation.

Styles, who’s had his issues with Orton, was all too happy to come out and gloat over Orton’s misfortune. He threw a few verbal jabs at Orton and when Orton didn’t attack in response, Styles quickly decided that this had to be real. The whole thing was a bit corny, but also amusing enough to let it slide.

Finally, Orton got his moment and RKO’d Styles which...sure. It’s just funny because Styles actually fell for it.

The Rest

Samoa Joe’s on Kevin Owens’ side - I actually like that this storyline didn’t get overdone this week. They started the show by having KO talking trash to Seth Rollins and the AOP and when they attacked, Joe joined in to help. All these dudes got removed from the building, too.

Short but sweet while developing the story. Not bad at all. Rey Mysterio seems to also be headed towards joining this story.

Aleister Black def. Buddy Murphy - Similar to the 6-man tag team match from last week’s SmackDown, this match was framed really well. And if you can look past how long Black was looking for a first opponent, it’s been really good.

This feud is meant to get both of these guys to the point of being draws for this show, and if they keep putting on matches with this much personality and physicality, it’s definitely going to happen.

The Street Profits def. The OC - I thought the Profits really needed a win like this. I wasn’t a huge fan of their promo before the match, but it was fun enough in the end.

Erick Rowan def. Local Talent - C’mon, jobber dude; how do you go under the ring and lose all track of direction? He came out from under the ring by Rowan’s cage thing and that was the end of him.

Drew McIntyre def. Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder - A squash that stood out since it used main roster guys and was a handicap match. Not much to say about this one other than McIntyre’s big.

Andrade def. Local Talent - Another squash, which really set up…

Andrade def. Ricochet - Look, I love Ricochet. He’s awesome. But these promos are terrible. They’re literally just the same stuff Finn Balor, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns...basically any babyface in the midcard for any length of time have said in the past 10 years. It’s not any good. None of it sounds unique or meaningful.

And he lost, too!

Rey Mysterio fights Andrade next week - Should be fun!

It’s all…about…

Grade: C

Woo boy, I bet you all have a lot to say, don’t you Cageside?

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