WWE returns to pay-per-view (PPV) — if your cable provider is carrying the event, of course — tomorrow night (Sun., Dec. 15, 2019) live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota with its TLC event starting at 6 pm ET with the Kickoff show leading right on into the main course at 7 pm ET on the WWE Network.
Set for the card: Funhouse Bray Wyatt takes on The Miz, Roman Reigns vs. Baron Corbin in a TLC match, and more!
Luckily for you Cagesiders, our staff of learned wrestling blowhards is here to help figure out just how the event is going to play out with predictions for each match on the card.
Let’s get to it.
TLC predictions
Bray Wyatt vs. The Miz
Geno Mrosko: The Miz is here to put Wyatt over even more, so this isn’t so much about who will win but rather how they go about going above and beyond for Bray. I’m just hoping it doesn’t involve any children. Pick: Bray Wyatt
Sean Rueter: Bray better wrestle in his standard Fun House garb, or what are we even doing here? I’d also like a Fred Rogers-esque change of sweater and shoes while sitting on the ring steps before entering the ring. Pick: Bray Wyatt
Kyle Decker: The Miz is clearly a hold over feud so they don’t rush the Daniel Bryan feud. The big question is whether or not it’ll be the Fiend or a rare Fun House Bray wrestling. Pick: Bray Wyatt
Rev. Claire Elizabeth: Why, exactly, is babyface Miz? He’s doing his best and I actually like the nuts and bolts of why he’s involved here, but it’s a question I keep asking myself. Anyway, he ain’t getting another main event title reign anytime soon, so... Pick: Bray Wyatt
Cain A. Knight: Instead of dealing with that stupid red light, maybe Fun House Bray wrestles with the fun house characters and sound effects doing their thing in the background. Ramblin’ Rabbit is totally gonna die during this one, but Miz will be thoroughly overwhelmed by the rest of the gang. Pick: Bray Wyatt
Stella Cheeks: If there aren’t puppets in this match then what are we even doing here?! Pick: Bray Wyatt
Roman Reigns vs. Baron Corbin
Geno Mrosko: There’s no need to stretch this beyond here, so let’s say they go all out and in the end you know who overcomes. Pick: Roman Reigns
Sean Rueter: 2019 has not been great for Romey in kayfabe, and that continues at the last PPV of the year. Expect him to bust out of the dog house in a big way in 2020, though. This stip just stacks the deck in the heel’s favor too much. Pick: King Corbin
Kyle Decker: It’s time for Roman to finish off King Corbin once and for all and move on to bigger and better things. Pick: Roman Reigns
Rev. Claire Elizabeth: Can we just skip the Alpo? That’s all I ask. Pick: Roman Reigns
Cain A. Knight: One of the biggest problems with WWE over the last year is the positioning of Baron Corbin as a top heel. The roster is too talented for this to be excused, and it’s an indictment on Vince McMahon’s ability to identify the best talent and put them in the best position to get over. And so we have a terribly shallow dog-themed storyline featuring Baron Corbin in another pay-per-view main event. Yikes, what a disaster. Pick: Roman Reigns
Stella Cheeks: Watching Corbin dump dog food all over Roman was truly one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen. Do you know how smelly dog food is? Corbin is a monster and deserves to have his nose rubbed into the carpet. Pick: Roman Reigns
Rusev vs. Bobby Lashley
Geno Mrosko: This has been going on long enough now that I’m fully expecting CM Punk to be half right and these two end up tag team partners. For now, the good guy has to win. Pick: Rusev
Sean Rueter: Don’t have a real strong feeling about who wins, as I buy into the talk this program continues either way. But I’m pretty sure Lana is going through a table. Pick: Rusev
Kyle Decker: Rusev is the big babyface in this and after all this crap, he deserves the win. That being said, Lashley is booked stronger than Rusev in general and I don’t see him losing this at all. Maybe they come up with a non-finish to... sigh... continue this feud, but if not, it’ll be Lashley. Pick: Bobby Lashley
Rev. Claire Elizabeth: I like both of these guys a lot and bless him, Rusev is doing the best he can with what he’s got to make this whole angle not suck, but if I could live the rest of my life as a wrestling fan without one more cuck angle I’d take it in a heartbeat. Only thing worse is workplace drama storylines. This match does take place on Rusev Day, hence... Pick: Rusev
Cain A. Knight: I’m surprised they booked a Tables Match rather than a Ladder Match with some ridiculous legal document or personal item hanging over the ring. Anyway, I’m going to stick with the logic that this feud is not ending here, so the heel will probably win the first match. Pick: Bobby Lashley
Stella Cheeks: If Rusev wins does that mean this storyline will be over? Because I choose whoever will end this terrible storyline. Pick: Rusev
The New Day vs. The Revival
Geno Mrosko: Some have stated this wasn’t the original plan, and I’m going to go with Vince McMahon booking a surprise here on top of that. Pick: The Revival
Sean Rueter: WWE likes to play games with Kofi Kingston & The New Days’ championship stats. But seeing as Dash & Dawson’s latest “push” may just be a result of Bob Roode’s elevated testosterone levels (which I’m gonna keep telling myself come from his sweet ‘stache), I kind of doubt we see a change here. Pick: The New Day
Kyle Decker: This was a rather rushed feud given the Revival earned this right just last week. But these are also titles that will change hands more often. I don’t see them doing a change this quickly in the end. Pick: The New Day
Rev. Claire Elizabeth: Given Revival’s contractual situation I feel like they may well have another title reign sooner than later, but I don’t think it happens on PPV this year. Pick: New Day
Cain A. Knight: New Day wins by spraying pancake batter in Dawson’s eyes, after Big E distracts the ref (and me) with some irresistible body thrusts. Pick: New Day
Stella Cheeks: The Revival peaked in NXT and have been floundering on the main roster ever since. Even when they held the tag belts no one cared. Meanwhile, The New Day have the most popular sports podcast. You do the math. Pick: New Day
The Viking Raiders vs. TBD
Geno Mrosko: I’m going to guess Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins show up, get obliterated, and then the Raiders ask for another challenger and that’s when Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson show up and also lose. Pick: Viking Raiders
Sean Rueter: What? “TBD” doesn’t stand for “The Brothers of Destruction”? Well, dang. Pick: Viking Raiders
Kyle Decker: A lot of speculation that TBD may be the Usos, a team that could conceivably beat the Viking Raiders. But there are also a ton of other non-Uso teams it could be and all those teams would lose. Playing the odds, I’m picking the Viking Raiders. Pick: The Viking Raiders
Rev. Claire Elizabeth: I really, honestly thought the Street Profits had a fair chance of dethroning the erstwhile War Machine on Monday, and if they couldn’t do it, I’m thinking the Raid continues a while yet. Pick: Viking Raiders
Cain A. Knight: There really aren’t any threatening teams on Raw, so I’m sticking with the champs. Pick: Viking Raiders
Stella Cheeks: YOLO Pick: TBD
The Kabuki Warriors vs. Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair
Geno Mrosko: They’ve gone this far with the Becky Lynch push, are they going to go the full nine and have her collect her debt from Asuka? I’m guessing the answer is yes, even if they won’t get a long run with the titles. Pick: Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair
Sean Rueter: They seem to be working hard to do several things with The Man. One, make the collecting of her debt from Asuka a big deal (it is). Two, continuing to present her as someone “the machine” isn’t behind despite the fact she’s clearly one of the faces of the company (worth a shot). Three, sell her rivalry with Flair as a Rock vs. Austin-level deal (not there yet, but also worth a shot). Those are all best served with a loss. Pick: Kabuki Warriors
Kyle Decker: The goal of this match looks to be getting to Asuka vs. Lynch at Royal Rumble, a match that Lynch herself wants. So what services getting there quicker, winning the titles from the Warriors or having the Warriors retain? Probably winning the titles? I dunno. So I’ll fall back on not voting against Charlotte in a title match. Pick: Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair
Rev. Claire Elizabeth: I think the story here is that the Warriors retain here due to superior teamwork, and then Becky and Charlotte work their shit out and come back and win them in a month or two. Pick: Kabuki Warriors
Cain A. Knight: The tag champs couldn’t beat Lynch in a handicap match, and they barely defeated Charlotte in handicap match, so I’m not sure why I should expect they have much of a chance to retain the titles when the numbers are even. Pick: Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair
Stella Cheeks: While I appreciate that the Kabuki Warriors have gotten a lot of screen time lately it is a little suspect that it took two of them to barely eek out a win against one opponent. Having them win over both Charlotte & Becky will firmly establish them as formidable tag team champions. Pick: Kabuki Warriors
Aleister Black vs. Buddy Murphy
Geno Mrosko: I’m just glad Black isn’t still in a dark room talking to himself. Pick: Aleister Black
Sean Rueter: As long he doesn’t return to his anger closet again on Monday, I don’t care. Pick: Aleister Black
Kyle Decker: Both these guys are apparently Paul Heyman Guys, so hopefully that means they get a significant amount of time to put on a fantastic match. While Buddy is a Paul Heyman Guy, he’s not as protected as Aleister Black, who hasn’t taken many Ls in time on the main roster. Pick: Aleister Black
Rev. Claire Elizabeth: I can’t help but see the stop start nature of Al waiting in his room for someone to knock as WWE having some cold feet on the guy. Match’ll rule, but whatever can go wrong, will. Pick: Buddy Murphy
Cain A. Knight: Whenever superstars like Seth Rollins or the Viking Raiders go out to the ring and issue an open challenge, it’s a reminder that Aleister Black has wasted the last seven months of his career sitting in a dark room collecting dust. I’m pretty sure the reason he didn’t immediately respond to Murphy’s initial door knock was because he fell asleep from sheer boredom. There are so many cool things WWE could be doing with this guy, so hopefully we’ll start seeing it now. This match should be fantastic. Pick: Aleister Black
Stella Cheeks: Buddy Murphy has had actual matches with actual opponents. Aleister has been complaining in a closet. Pick: Buddy Murphy
That’s how we see the card playing out.
You?