Well that sucks.
I think everyone pretty much knew the writing was on the wall for Kofi Kingston’s title reign when Brock Lesnar challenged him to a match. And when he said “oh yeah, New Day’s gonna chill in the back and I’m gonna do this 1 on 1”? Yeah, that might as well have been a death knell.
But like this? After all the emotion of Kofi’s climb to the top and the historical significance of his title reign...he’s just going to jump into an F5 and lose in 6 seconds?
That’s not okay. That leaves a really bitter taste in my mouth. And it was made even worse by how quickly WWE moved on to another feud.
I’ve seen Cain Velasquez fight in an octagon...once, I think. And it was fine. I’ve heard he did a hell of a job at a few lucha events. That’s awesome.
But did they expect regular viewers to be hyped about Kingston’s quick defeat and Velasquez’s debut? I doubt it, to be frank; I’d imagine this was WWE trying to capitalize on new viewers who might’ve tuned in for the show. If that’s the case, I’ll leave the television ratings to determine how successful they were.
In the meantime, I’ll be shaking my head at how Kofi went out. It would have cost them nothing to have a short sprint of a match like plenty of Lesnar’s most recent opponents...but nah. It’s a shameful day, yes it is.
The end of a nightmare
If you’re fatigued by the thought of Brock Lesnar as champion, well...at least Shane is gone, right?
Kevin Owens had Shane over the barrel in this storyline with that unlawful termination lawsuit. Shane was guilty as hell, and he had brought out his legal team last week to try to intimidate Owens. Instead, all Owens wanted was a ladder match to settle this thing.
Corny, for sure...but hey, I’ll enjoy seeing Shane get powerbombed and frog splashed through ladders any day.
This match was basically a moment-fest, which all good Shane matches generally are. From an elbow through the commentary table to the Coast-to-Coast and everything in between, both guys got their licks in as they fought for that silver briefcase.
The one thing I really enjoyed about this was just how real it seemed to be for Owens. It genuinely felt personal, which was always going to be the thing that made this match worth it. He smashed that briefcase over his head in celebration, and seemed to take great relish in informing Shane that he was fired.
And I mean...look. This Shane stuff dragged on far too long. But Owens was as good a choice as any to put the Boss’s son down for good. I’m intrigued to see where Owens goes from here.
The Rock will never get old
The Rock doesn’t reinvent the wheel by this point.
He’s got his catchphrases. He’s got an agenda on how he delivers his segments when he returns for a night, too. Interrupt pompous heel. Ignore them for a bit and address the crowd. Hit ‘em with a catchphrase and finally address the heel. Throw in a couple of killer insults, wrap it up with another catchphrase or two, and put a bow on the whole segment with a brawl.
The blueprint’s out there, folks. And he delivers each and every time. He’s like Stephen Curry out there; you know the three’s coming. He’s just too good.
On this occasion, King Corbin was the pompous villain to get torn to shreds. Corbin had interrupted Becky Lynch to open the show, and The Rock just wasn’t having it.
What was interesting was how well Lynch help up alongside the Great One. I don’t mean that as a backhanded insult, obviously; it’s just that folks that are out there with The Rock generally can’t pop the crowd as well.
Becky’s testicle quip? Ohhh, that did the trick. Corbin, to his credit, was awesome in his role by defending the size of his royal jewels.
This was probably my favorite part of the night, honestly. Everyone involved was exceedingly entertaining.
Oh, and enjoy those “STD” chants, Burger King Corbin.
The Rest
Charlotte and Becky Lynch def. The Boss ‘n’ Hug Connection – It’s interesting to me that for a match that was meant to primarily tease Lynch vs. Sasha Banks, the story was really centered on Charlotte and Bayley. Bayley was always there to steal the heat away from a Becky/Sasha confrontation, and Charlotte ended up getting the win by submitting the SmackDown Champion. Looks like we’ll have another Charlotte vs. Bayley match in the near future.
The Fiend literally owns Seth Rollins at this point – Another show, another Fiend attack on Seth Rollins. Rollins tried to flee up the aisle this time, but he should have seen how that went for Jerry Lawler a while back.
At this point, this should almost be a squash on Sunday. Wyatt was cackling with glee as Rambling Rabbit was torn to shreds in a Fun House segment before getting serious and talking about how long he’s been hurting. This feels like a moment that should be all about him.
Braun Strowman, The Miz, and Heavy Machinery def. Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode, AJ Styles, and Randy Orton – This was just an excuse to have Strowman get into an altercation at ringside with professional boxer Tyson Fury.
We heard rumors of Fox wanting this show to be sports-oriented. I guess this is what they meant.
Roman Reigns def. Erick Rowan in a Lumberjack Match – This match gave Daniel Bryan a chance to make the save for Reigns and get them on the same page.
For the most part, I enjoyed this episode. The Rock/Lynch stuff was awesome, and Owens really brought it in that ladder match. But with that said, none of the “unique” things on this show resonated well with me. Velasquez and Fury aren’t people I’m familiar with, so their inclusion in the show fell flat for me. Instead, I’m just bummed with how Kofi’s title reign ended.
Grade: B
I enjoyed Wednesday’s chaos more than this show. What about you, Cageside?