“You suck and I know that I can kill you!”
Y’all, Braun Strowman’s gonna become a face again if he keeps saying things like that to Constable Corbin. And despite this being a night that WWE shoved their upcoming special events down our throats – more on that later – this was a fairly decent show when it came to presenting Corbin as a ridiculous coward and an embarrassment as a manager.
He gave away his mindset early in the show backstage, bragging that he’d booked two matches that, in his mind, would cause him and a friend to win championships.
“I’m a great general manager!” he boasted. One of those matches was a Universal Championship opportunity for himself that he booked on a whim.
...It took Finn Balor two years to get one of those. I might have had violent thoughts about Corbin at that point. I think I have them under control, but maybe stay away from the Memphis area for a bit, Corbin.
Corbin also rolled out of the ring so many times against Reigns. It was pretty great, actually, and restarting the match was a great opportunity for him to look both like an idiot and to introduce some chaos to make the finish more fun. Corbin’s an idiot for not banning the Shield from ringside.
Also...CHARLIE CARUSO CALLED ROMAN REIGNS AN UNDERDOG BACKSTAGE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Stephanie was right about Rousey
Do you remember when Stephanie McMahon had that whole storyline about wanting to help Ronda Rousey acclimate herself into the WWE? In retrospect, I think we all need to apologize to Stephanie because Rousey’s making every single mistake that Stephanie claimed she would.
Rousey’s in-ring promo was ridiculous. I hated it so much. She said every single politically correct thing they drill into professional athletes. I want to thank my opponent? Really?!
She’s trying too hard...and if you view it as if they’re telling that story on purpose, it’s actually pretty compelling. For example, what would you do if you were desperate to be cheered and you were a champion?
Uhh...Raw Women’s Championship Open Challenge! And considering Rousey’s very real reactions when she lost in UFC, there’s enough there that you can talk yourself into that story.
Things almost got interesting when Natalya’s music hit for the open challenge, but then the Riott Squad came out. They had beaten up Natalya and went to town on Rousey before the Bellas joined the fight and I lost interest.
Rollins is unstoppable
Sometimes in life, you’ve got to plant your feet, grit your teeth, and eat that horse.
Battered and bruised from falling off Hell in a Cell, Rollins had no respite on this show as Corbin booked him in a title match against Dolph Ziggler. It was another abuse of power for Corbin, but it was also your latest example of Rollins being the walking inferno of work rate.
I’ve run out of superlatives. This was the match of the night for me with both guys selling their recent injuries well. It also served the dynamic of Drew McIntyre and Ziggler’s partnership well; Ziggler got the win at Hell in a Cell because of McIntyre’s Claymore. And left to his own devices on Raw, Ziggler came up short.
Anyway, watch the video above. Rollins is Raw.
Cynical rant time - I am so sick of this Saudi Arabia show – now deemed Crown Jewel - and the Super Show-Down. I hate both shows intensely and the last thing an already oversaturated WWE needed was more shows.
During this week’s episode of Raw, WWE used two “top of the hour” segments to try to sell those two special events. I’m over it, and I’d really rather not make them featured segments of the review.
The wrestling market is so saturated at this point and I have to draw the line somewhere. And that line probably begins when WWE is compromising morals for a paycheck and bringing back old dudes in favor of telling compelling stories with their ridiculously talented roster. Undertaker said Kane’s going to be in his corner when he fights Triple H and Lesnar’s got a triple threat and a seven figure pay day in Saudi Arabia. I hate it all. Happy?
Drew McIntyre def. Dean Ambrose – The fact that this match was the first of the night and given away so freely is crazy to me. It was a very good match as well. McIntyre was able to pick up a victory, but Ambrose looked impressive and resilient in defeat. He beat himself more than anything, actually, with a failed dive to the outside.
Chad Gable def. Viktor – Any day Gable wrestles is a good day in my book. I liked the story here; Gable was dominating and Konnor jumped onto the apron to interfere. But before Booby Roode could divest himself of his robe, Gable had leapt over and taken care of it himself. Roode was stunned. And Konnor got to show some aggression after the match, too!
I feel like I know where this story is going, but that’s perfectly fine. As long as the story’s good and the wrestling’s interesting, I have no complaints.
Bayley def. Dana Brooke – Going off on your own isn’t working too well, is it Dana? I thought this match was fine and particularly enjoyed the commentary for this one. Bayley’s knee strike during the finish was particularly satisfying.
Authors of Pain def. Local Talent – Second verse same as the first, the AoP absolutely decimated some reedy looking dudes and they’ve clearly changed their finisher to the Super Collider. Smart move, I’d say.
Elias def. Bobby Lashley via DQ – You know, I was going to crack a joke about Lio Rush acting like Kevin Hart, but he really won me over. In fact, Rush running circles around Owens and Elias might have been the most entertaining thing all show. And then Lashley almost dropped him which got a chuckle from me as well.
Nia Jax, Ember Moon def. Alicia Fox, Mickie James – The mean girls of WWE got out-meaned by an Eclipse and Nia Jax doing Nia Jax things.
I feel like this review if pretty complimentary when reading it over, but I’ve got to be honest with you: nothing’s really gripping me at the moment. I spent so much time flicking between this show and the Monday Night Football game. I think that helped my enjoyment of the show.
There was some good wrestling, but I’m just not invested at the moment. I also wish that WWE would chill with the special events getting so much time. What about you, Cageside?