Sometimes, as a wrestling fan, you want to convince some friends to come watch a show with you, even if they’re not fans.
It can take a bit of convincing to get someone to take time out of their Sunday and watch some wrestling, though.
So, I’ve written a handy guide to quickly bring a friend up to speed on the pay-per-view matches.
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship - Two men who had an amazing match in NJPW but haven’t duplicated that level of drama in the WWE ring. They have, however, hit each other in the balls a lot — especially Nakamura. Now they’ll hit each other in the crotch until one man can’t get back up by the count of 10.
Nia Jax (c) vs. Ronda Rousey for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship - Former UFC champion (and future UFC Hall of Famer) Ronda Rousey is a truther about a lot of things: Sandy Hook, women using lube during sex, Nia Jax’s true intentions when she was involved with Natalya’s injury ... a lot of things. Nia was the victim of Alexa Bliss’ bullying, then she won the title and went overboard beating up a local talent to prove a point to Rousey. Rousey armbarred her on Raw this week, will she do it again Sunday? Probably ... well, maybe.
Carmella (c) vs. Asuka for the WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship - Carmella won the Money in the Bank briefcase last year and not many people thought she’d cash in successfully. Then she did. Then she beat Charlotte Flair twice. Charlotte, who ended Asuka’s incredible winning streak at WrestleMania. Math makes Carmella the favorite, obviously. But this Asuka is pretty good, too.
Men’s Money in the Bank ladder match - One time, Braun Strowman tipped over an ambulance. Another time, he was crushed to death in a garbage truck. Then, there was the time he was in the back of an ambulance when it was crashed into a truck and survived that too. Most relevant to this match, tough, is that he recently punched a ladder in half. Also, there’s a man whose thing these days is rubbing baby oil on his abs on social media, the former MTV reality show star who has become one of the most consistent performers in WWE, a man with 365 holidays named after him, one of three different pancake-based humans, a mean Canadian man, a meaner Samoan named Joe ... and Bobby Roode.
as requested by @misskittyf
— Keito Potato | 敬人ポテト (@archaicbro) June 10, 2018
finn bálor pours baby oil on himself to pour some sugar on me pic.twitter.com/kNv5N9Oiw3
Women’s Money in the Bank ladder match - Last year, Carmella won. This year, it will be someone much better (unless Lana wins, I suppose). Naomi and Lana had a dance-off. Ember Moon crushed Sasha Banks to death last week, Natalya is “hurt” and involved with Rousey and Jax and Charlotte and Becky are tea-drinking frenemies.
— TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) June 12, 2018
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Elias for the Intercontinental Championship - Elias hit Rollins with a guitar. Rollins broke Elias’ fancy guitar he received from John Mayer. The singing man will now wrestle the superb wrestler for the belt because of all these guitar-related antics.
Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal - Most people hated both of these men for being in the world title picture against the wishes of the fans. Now, they’re rasslin’ and it turns out most everyone hates Reigns more.
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass - For what feels like a lifetime, WWE has struggled to book arguably the best wrestler in the world as anything other than a “small guy.” Bryan’s broken brain got fixed, and he’s back wrestling. So, of course, now there’s a very tall man calling him short. Bryan, as is his way, has made the most of it.
"You don't even know how."
— JJ Williams (@JJWilliamsWON) June 6, 2018
Bryan absolutely eviscerated that man. pic.twitter.com/OpOIQG0tZu
Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn - Lashley told a story about growing up with his sisters, who gave him a hard time. Then, Zayn brought out some men in drag pretending to be Lashley’s sisters. Lashley beat up the “sisters” because wrestling. Then, Zayn made fun of Lashley’s social media game (which is on par with everyone’s lonely middle-aged aunt), before questioning his military service. To prove his point, the following week, Zayn made Lashley run a “military obstacle course” before hitting him from behind. So, of course, they have to wrestle.
- Impact Wrestling was on the TV last night, here’s your recap and reactions post.
- An interesting FanPost compared Zelina Vega to Sensational Sherri.
- As the Total Bellas drama kicks up around Nikki and John’s split, more and more men are tuning in. Stop pretending your heart didn’t break thinking it might not have been a work.
- Speaking of relationships, CM Punk and Colt Cabana have a complicated one.
- There’s no guarantee Brock Lesnar will be wrestling at SummerSlam. That’d be quite the thing ... but I think that’ll get sorted out.
- There have been some long title reigns in WWE, but let’s hang out with the people on the flipside while they bond over some short reigns.
Get out of my way, it’s almost time for the weekend
lol, a couple of kids get too close as a young Misawa clears a path for Jumbo in 1983 pic.twitter.com/AFZ0d5l5Wx
— LARIATOOOO!! (@MrLARIATO) April 25, 2017