If the WWE roster were TV series finales!

It’s the beginning of the month, which means absolutely nothing because it’s just another day and another slow march toward the inevitable end to all of our meaningless lives.

Wait, that was kind of a morbid start. Let’s walk that back.

You’ve seen them as horror movies!

You’ve seen them stand-ins for Thanksgiving dinner!

You’ve seen them doppelganger’d as Holiday TV Specials!

You’ve seen them list their New Years Resolutions!

You’ve seen them as Rom-coms and you’ve read their Valentine’s Day love letters.

You’ve seen them as video games.

You’ve seen them as WrestleMania.

And you’ve seen them as Marvel superheroes.

NOW...we present to you, the WWE Roster as...

TV SHOW SERIES FINALES!

Why now? Because this is around the time when TV shows go off the air. Or it used to be back in my day, when seasons lasted more than 8-13 episodes at a time and aired on a network and not a streaming service, and ran from September-Christmas, and then from mid-January-June.

Simpler times.

There are still some traditionalish shows to be enjoyed today; The Americans just ended a very underrated six-season run with a stellar finale. But for the most part the way we consume TV has changed and a lot of the years-long build-up to a big blowout final episode has gone away.

So that’s what’s on my mind as I reflect on some of my favorite (and a few not so favorite) finales. And since this is a wrestling-themed website, let’s mash it up by comparing those finales with WWE characters!

As always, play along in the comments. Winner gets my used copy of the World Book Encyclopedia from my childhood, circa 1980’s (this exact set actually), but it’s only the J-K volume, sorry L-lovers.

Here we go...

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION

Star Trek was, in my opinion, never better than during the seven years that TNG was on the air. It was very much a show that could not be done today, at least not without concessions and sacrifices. It was a show less about action and more about contemplation, less about character arcs and more about weekly philosophical examinations. I know it couldn’t be done today because Star Trek is being done today and it’s nothing like TNG. It’s loud, jerky, vapid and convoluted.

TNG was none of those things, and after seven years of excellent ratings, Hugo awards and critical acclaim, the show ended its run. It was on top, even after so many years, and it ended with all its fans sorry to see it go and more than willing to see it come back. It’s very easy for a product to overstay its welcome and end with a whimper, but TNG was one of the few shows to last a long time and end with you wanting more.

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BREAKING BAD

Similar to TNG, Breaking Bad ended on its own terms and with it still riding high in the ratings. In fact, Breaking Bad’s ratings vis-a-vi the decision to end is a fascinating study. None of its first three seasons failed to crack two-million viewers for an episode. It only hit that mark once in season four (in the first episode). But critical praise was persistent and its small but loyal fanbase kept talking it up and then finally, like a lightning strike, its final season jumped to over two-million per episode, and the final handful were pulling in over five million. The finale crossed the ten-million mark. It was a slow climb toward mainstream popularity followed by an explosion. After that, right as it was peaking, it ended.

But never fear because it lives on in the form of Better Call Saul, and though a lot of people were skeptical that the sequel-show could live up to the legacy of its predecessor, BCS has proved those skeptics wrong. Breaking Bad is a show that flew under the radar, blew up to big time popularity, left for a while and came back in a slightly altered form, mostly picking up where it left off.

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WWE.com

SEINFELD

Just in terms of its finale, Seinfeld’s final episode received a ton of hype during the show’s eighth and final season. In the weeks preceding, NBC began each episode with a countdown, informing us of how many new episodes were left before the big goodbye. When the finale finally aired, it was viewed by a record-number of people (over 75 million). It was also the first episode written by the show’s creator, Larry David, in three years.

And it went over like a wet fart.

I thought it was the perfect ending, full of the kind of irony and sarcasm that the show buit its reputation on. But still, when you hype something up as much as they did...well, you can’t always hit a home run. Sometimes you flop.

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BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

I will always have a soft-spot for Star Trek: TNG, laying on the shag carpeting at my house as a kid, watching it on a “big” 20-inch rabbit-ears TV, eating popcorn, etc. You can’t take those memories away from me. But BSG took sci-fi to another level entirely. It took all the criticisms one could have about Star Trek post-TNG and rectified them (fittingly since it was created by Ronald D. Moore, one of the best TNG writers), while also adding some of the best character arcs I’ve ever seen in a TV show.

Though I love almost every episode (“Black Market” being the lone black spot), I recognize the wider consensus: To many, BSG is a series that started hot (that first season is basically perfect), cooled off a bit in the middle and ended in a way that might have been a bit controversial but I dug it and I choose to celebrate what it did as a product of its time and not dwell on the misfires.

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THE OFFICE

It lasted a long time, lost a bit of its mojo toward the end and sort of became a parody of itself before ending.

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ANGEL

It was a spinoff than never got the acclaim or support of its progenitor (Buffy) but it was still great in its own way and was always willing to shake up its formula to try and stay ahead of the curve. It didn’t get a very poetic ending, with big ratings for the final season or any satisfying conclusion. In fact, its finale is particularly frustrating since it just sort of ended without much resolution. Angel literally looks up at a giant monster in the sky, vows to go slay a dragon and then...credits.

But that’s the way it goes sometimes: Sometimes you fly under the radar, never get the appreciation you deserve and then, when it’s over, it just sort of is over, without much fanfare.

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LOST

Started with a bang, but after so long with it the flaws became terribly apparent and by the end, people were just sick of it.

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That’s my list, Cagesiders.

Give us your finale/wrestler combos in the comments below!