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WWE Raw results, live blog (Mar. 26, 2018): John Cena vs. Kane

WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Mar. 26, 2018) from the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio, featuring all the latest build to the WrestleMania 34 pay-per-view (PPV) extravaganza set for early next month in New Orleans.

Advertised for tonight: John Cena wrestles Kane, the latest on Roman Reigns’ status, and more!

Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)


Take a little trip back with father Tiresias, listen to the old one speak of all he has lived through. “I have crossed between the poles, for me there’s no mystery. Once a man, like the sea I raged; once a woman, like the earth I gave. But there is in fact more earth than sea.” Makes sense to me, folks-- let’s liveblog this here pro wrestling show, shall we?

The show opens with Brock Lesnar making his entrance, flanked by Paul Heyman as always.

Paul does his schtick and introduces Brock. He says it’s almost seven days to the minute since a savage beating from Lesnar, and while he’s the greatest orator in the history of WWE, he wants to run the footage of Brock beating Roman Reigns down from last week, and the production truck obliges. Heyman says Roman’s suspension has been lifted and he knows we’re all thinking he’s gonna come down ready for a fight, but he has breaking news for us...

...Reigns isn’t here tonight. He goes on about how Roman’s father Sika and his uncle Afa and all his Samoan relatives that dominated the business for years raised him to be a Samoan badass, to compete, to fight, to wrestle, to win, but it’s a shame they didn’t raise him to be a man. He runs Roman down for having been advertised and not being here tonight after all his talk.

And further, if the beatdown had gone the other way, Brock would have come back this week and put the title down in the ring and ask him to come take it. He says that Reigns isn’t man enough to come take another beating, and that’s why he’s not man enough to take the Universal Championship away from Brock at WrestleMania.

Or he tries to, as he builds to his crescendo there’s a commotion in the crowd and Roman comes down with no entrance. The Big Dog grabs a chair, heads towards the ring but Lesnar runs him over with a lariat! Brock drags him to his feet but Roman is able to throw him into the post and wail on him with the steel chair! Calling for it... BROCK COUNTERS THE SUPERMAN PUNCH INTO A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!

Lesnar grabs the steel steps and batters Reigns with them before throwing them into the ring! Headed inside, he picks them back up and wallops Roman with them again! And now with the chair, waffling the Big Dog across his spine repeatedly, bending it around his body in the process! His point made and his challenger unconscious, Brock gets his title and takes his leave up the ramp...

Except he’s not done yet. Lesnar heads back in, fireman’s carry... F-5 ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! Just to rub it in a little, Brock gets his title and stands tall atop the steps to point to the WrestleMania sign.

Commentary hypes up Ronda Rousey for later tonight as well as Mickie James vs. Nia Jax before sending us to break.

Back from commercial, we’re just in time to see Roman Reigns leave the ringside area under his own power. This is followed by a recap of the opening segment, because Raw is three hours long.

Mickie James vs. Nia Jax

Collar and elbow, James backs right off before going for it again, Jax throws her aside and they jaw at each other. Back to the lockup, again Nia throws Mickie aside and this time she spills all the way to the floor and we go to break.

Back from commercial, Nia is firmly in control and putting boots to James in the corner. Biel across the ring, a second one, Mickie seeks sanctuary in the ropes and is able to get a slap off when referee John Cone pulls Jax away. Nia to the floor, she gets distracted by Alexa Bliss and James is able to come from behind and take her leg out before hitting a northern superkick and rolling back in the ring!

Jax beats the count but Mickie kicks her knee when she tries to come in and follows it up with more kicks. Nia with a desperation shove, dropkick to the knee in return, James with front facelock knee strikes but Jax is able to scoop her up and body slam her! Off the ropes for the leg drop, nobody home, Mickie off the ropes, kick to the face... NOPE!

Clubbing away, looking for the DDT but Nia shoves her into the corner, Stinger Splash comes up empty, another knee kick from the veteran and she climbs up top. Jax cuts her off, military press...

Nia Jax wins by pinfall with the Samoan drop.

Alexa tries to attack post-match but Nia shrugs her off and Bliss bails before she catches hands. Jax vows to get her at WrestleMania and calls her a bitch on top of it.

Commentary hypes up the rest of the show and we go to break.

Back from commercial, we get a hype video for WrestleMania.

Commentary then tosses to a video package covering Ronda Rousey’s WWE career to date that segues into interview content featuring Stephanie McMahon and Triple H pledging to humble her the same way they’ve humbled every other superstar in WWE.

Cedric Alexander makes his entrance, he’ll have a tag team match after the break.

Back from commercial, you’ll excuse me the indulgence but if I have a Catch Point reunion on WWE TV, I’m billing them as Catch Point even if WWE doesn’t.

Catch Point (Drew Gulak & TJ Perkins TJP) vs. Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali

The match is in progress with Perkins having Ali under control as we cut to see DRAKE MAVERICK on commentary. Blocking the tag, quick cover, no good, body slam, slingshot senton atomico and a tag to Gulak. Cradle lift into a body slam, cover gets two, and Drew goes for a few chops and a hard whip into a back body drop for another nearfall.

Neck crank applied, adding a knucklelock, scooping him up, to the corner, knock Alexander down, Mustafa gets his wits about him, back elbow into a tornado DDT and both men are down and out! Tags all around, Cedric comes in hot with a lariat, handspring Frankensteiner, a big dropkick into a kip-up, catch the kick, back elbow, charge in the corner and he gets back body dropped to the apron!

Kick connects, springboard lariat, Gulak breaks the cover up! Ali runs Drew off with a dropkick... TOPE CON GIRO! Rolling Gedo Clutch from TJ, Disaster Kick denied, handspring gamengiri from Cedric, blind tag, Lumbar Check, Mustafa up top...

Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali win by pinfall with 054 from Ali on TJP.

The two Cruiserweight Championship Tournament finalists jaw genially at each other post-match.

Commentary hypes MizTV up next and we go to break on a house ad for tomorrow’s SmackDown centered around Daniel Bryan being cleared to return to active competition and whether or not he can get it back together after the beating he took last week.

Back from commercial, Miz and the Miztourage are in the ring for MizTV.

He responds to “welcome home” chants by pointing out that he lives in LA and launches into his usual intro. Before he brings out his guests he has some personal things to address. Some folks like to keep personal things private but he wants to do it out in the open because that’s how he is. He asks the Miztourage if they’re enjoying the whole deal so far and they say they’re happy.

He says they should be and that’s great because he’s not. Last year they were swimming in mediocrity and how do they repay him? By failing him when he needed them the most, and if he wanted failure he would have stayed here in Cleveland. They’re on the Road to WrestleMania and he can’t count on his Miztourage. Curtis Axel protests but Miz says he’s been left down and out two weeks in a row.

Bo Dallas says they’ve been doing the best they can and Miz tells him he can do better and maybe he should go Bo-lieve himself back to catering and that he’d be nothing without him.

Enter Seth Rollins. He says normally he’s not a fan of MizTV, but even he has to admit that this is great stuff. The Miztourage hashing out their problems, this is really good. He doesn’t want to interrupt, he’s a guest but he wants them to do their thing. Miz says he did interrupt, he came out early, and the only problem they have is Rollins.

Seth says if he’s out here he might as well help. He can mediate, and honestly it seems that the Miztourage are feeling a little underappreciated. When was the last time you looked them in their eyes and thanked them? Miz asks Rollins if he’s kidding and Seth says if he was Miz he’d be thanking them every chance he got, renting billboards to thank them, because without them he wouldn’t be Intercontinental Champion.

He’d be leading every crowd in Miztourage chants, and he does so for this crowd here, which leads Miz to raise his hand to silence the crowd. The A-Lister says the Miztourage know that he’s grateful for them and they should be grateful for him because he elevated their careers, not the other way around. Without them he’d still be a huge star and--

Bo interrupts calling him a phony A-lister that can’t fight! Rollins prods Dallas to say that again and Miz wants to hear it also, but Finn Balor’s theme hits and he interrupts before Bo can open his mouth.

Finn apologizes for interrupting but says he’s a scheduled guest too and just like he needed Seth’s help earlier, he thinks Miz needs his help now. Everyone’s trying to figure out what Bo actually said right there, and Balor says sometimes it’s hard to hear what people say out in the ring, but backstage he heard crystal clear and Bo said Miz was the biggest jerk he’d ever met.

Dallas rightfully protests and Finn says maybe he didn’t hear, it was a jerk or a coward or-- Bo says he called him a phony A-lister that can’t fight and immediately regrets his mistake. Miz demands he repeat it, he begins to, and the A-Lister piefaces him! Curtis tries to mediate but Miz says he wants to fire them up, to motivate them, and they’re letting Balor and Rollins play them?!

The only thing they should be focused on is his title, and he’s only 34 days away from breaking the total days reigned record and becoming the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time, better than Randy Savage, Shawn Michaels, or Mr. Perfect.

This gets Axel’s ire up and he turns slowly to face Miz, who admits that slipped. Finn and Seth won’t let him get away with it and Miz begs off, trying to get everyone to take a few deep breaths. When that doesn’t work, Miz apologizes to everyone and cancels MizTV before trying to just leave, but Bo steps up to him. Curtis, too, and the A-Lister finds himself isolated.

Miz audibly begs as they back him into Balor and Rollins and he has his cartoon moment... AND THE MIZTOURAGE ATTACK HIS CHALLENGERS! A SMILE PLAYS OUT ON MIZ’S FACE, IT WAS A RUSE THE ENTIRE TIME! They beat Seth and Finn down together, united as ever, and the Miztourage pull Balor up for Skull-Crushing Finale just in time for Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows to make the save!

Miz surveys the carnage before turning and realizing he still has Finn alone. Balor ducks a belt shot, Sling Blade, Rollins is up and at ‘em, he goes for Blackout... and Miz rolls away! Seth keeps jawing and Finn picks the Intercontinental Championship up, looking at the WrestleMania sign. Rollins yanks the title away and holds it high, when Balor shoves him aside... to take care of an ambushing Miz!

Rollins runs him off, Finn wipes the Architect out with a lariat and claims the title belt once more, holding it high over his head.

Commentary hypes up John Cena vs. Kane and Ronda Rousey’s appearance before we toss to Asuka walking backstage to send us to break.

Back from commercial, we’re in a dark room with Kane.

He tells John Cena there are some demons you should never call out by name, demons that don’t want to be disturbed, demons that want to rest in peace. And now he must suffer for his indiscretion, and he’s not going to WrestleMania. Tonight he’s going straight to hell.

Charly Caruso interviews Jamie Frost (who usually wrestles and manages Shane InYaFace as Ellie Fredricks on the indies), Asuka’s opponent tonight. She says Asuka likes to say nobody’s ready for her, but she doesn’t know what she’s capable, and the way she sees it, Asuka isn’t ready for her.

Asuka vs. Jamie Frost

Frost right in throwing hands but Asuka fires back...

Asuka wins by pinfall with a flash roundhouse kick to the head.

Commentary walks us through a recap of the Ultimate Deletion from last week, with Corey Graves explaining what happened to a skeptical Michael Cole.

Matt Hardy is in the blue room and says that as a result of the Ultimate Deletion, Bray Wyatt’s essence is no more and the evil stench of his tyrannical reign has been replaced by the sweet smell of Senor Benjamin’s spring daisies and the Great War is OVER! At WrestleMania, he’ll honor the humongous legacy of Andre the Giant and win his battle royal.

Anyone that opposes him shall be... DELETED!

Commentary promises us a look at the complicated relationship between Sasha Banks and Bayley soon.

Elias is in a dark room running through his usual intro and the lights come up and it turns out he’s teaching children how to count and also this is a Snickers ad.

To break!

Back from commercial, we get our promised breakdown of the issues between Bayley and Sasha Banks.

In the locker room, Sasha rolls up on Bayley and says she got her text. Bayley says that’s good and goes to leave, and Banks asks if that’s really it. Bayley just wanted her to know that she’s entering the battle royal but Sasha asks if they’re not gonna talk this out and accuses her of being passive-aggressive. Bayley says she knows Banks likes her to be passive and she loves that she puts her first and lets her walk around like she’s the boss.

Sasha says she is in fact the Boss and she does what she needs to for her career and maybe Bayley should do the same so people don’t think she’s a loser. Bayley counters that the truth is Sasha keeps sabotaging her because she knows she can’t beat her. Banks points out that she’s a four-time champion and Bayley asks how long she kept it...

SASHA ATTACKS! SHE PUTS BAYLEY INTO THE LOCKERS AND WAILS ON HER BEFORE SLAMMING HER FACE-FIRST INTO A TABLE! Referees arrive to try and pull them apart, only barely succeeding by the time the camera cuts.

Braun Strowman makes his entrance, he’ll wrestle Sheamus after the break.

Back from commercial in time for Sheamus to make his entrance with Cesaro at his side.

The Bar cut a promo, Sheamus saying everybody thinks Braun is so dominant from his great feats of strength, but they have him figured out. It’s the element of surprise, he catches people off-guard when his music hits. Cesaro imitates the beginning of his theme song and Sheamus says there will be no surprises and they want to know his tag team partner right now so they can properly prepare.

Strowman gets a microphone and calls them whiny babies before asking if they want to know who his partner is. He’ll tell them, all Sheamus has to do is beat him tonight. Sheamus demands an answer right now and a “Get these hands!” chant goes up before Braun says maybe he gets an answer, but he guarantees he’ll get these hands.

Braun Strowman vs. Sheamus

Cesaro runs interference enough to let Sheamus get a bunch of forearms in but Braun turns him around and biels him across the ring! The Celtic Warrior sidesteps a charge, pass to the floor, jawbreaker into an attempt at the Beats of the Bodhran but Strowman reverses into a single beat of his own that sends Sheamus sprawling to the floor! Back inside, he freight trains Sheamus off the apron on the other side of the ring and we go to break.

Back from commercial, Braun is in control but Cesaro causes a distraction that sees him hung up in the ropes and Sheamus beating on him! Kick to the midsection, DDT connects and the Celtic Warrior is rolling. Clubs and stomps, wrenching his arm over the ropes, clubbing the shoulder, stepover armbreaker, and now the top wristlock is applied! Knee lifts, Strowman stands up and flips him out of it before running him over with a series of lariats!

Sheamus bails to the floor, Braun comes around and runs him over with a shoulder block! Hard whip shifts the barricade about six inches and Strowman throws the Celtic Warrior back in the ring before stalking after Cesaro. Back in the ring, Sheamus sidesteps a charge and Braun eats ringpost! Up top, diving lariat gets one and the Celtic Warrior follows it up by kicking away at the monster’s ribs.

Cesaro looking for a cheap shot, Braun runs him off, sidestep the Brogue Kick, Stinger Splash, scoop him up...

Braun Strowman wins by pinfall with the running powerslam.

Commentary promises us Ronda Rousey... after the break.

Back from commercial, we get a hype reel for John Cena hosting the Kid’s Choice Awards.

Kurt Angle makes his entrance. He says we’re two weeks away from WrestleMania, which means we’re two weeks away from Triple H and Stephanie McMahon standing across the ring from him and his partner, Ronda Rousey.

Ronda makes her entrance, naturally. Kurt says he knows that WrestleMania is the most intimidating stage for anyone to compete on for the first time, but after watching her train, he knows she’s ready. And after hearing what Hunter and Stephanie said earlier, they mean it when they say they’ll be prepared for anything, and WrestleMania won’t be easy.

Rousey says she didn’t come here looking for easy and she wants to earn everything she can get. Steph can talk tough, but she’s trust fund tough, limousine tough, and personal trainer tough, and she’s gonna get everything she deserves, which is Ronda ripping her arm out of its socket.

Enter Absolution. Paige says she knows it’s tough not having friends in WWE and they want to welcome Ronda to Raw. She doesn’t know if she knows, but this is her show and her house. Paige says she gets it, Rousey grew up watching WWE, but the thing is you get lost in the shuffle and people lose track of you and she’s offering backup. Ronda appreciates it but points out she has an Olympic gold medalist on her side, so, no thanks.

Paige says if she thinks Angle had her back, she wouldn’t be an enemy to HHH and McMahon. It’s career suicide and she knows she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, but she doesn’t have to go it alone. Rousey could become the fourth member of Absolution!

Ronda again thanks them for the offer but turns it down firmly. Paige says she understands she just made her choice but unfortunately it’s not a good one. She could have had some best friends, but unfortunately she made some worst enemies. Paige leaves and Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose get in the ring. Angle backs Rose off but Deville closes and Ronda knocks her out!

Rousey catches a boot from Mandy and capture suplexes her! Judo throw when Rose comes back in for the attack, into a kneeling armbar and Kurt tries to talk Ronda down. She does eventually let go of the arm, and Angle raises her hand.

A recap of the opening segment follows, because Raw is three hours long.

Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows make their entrance, they’ll wrestle the Miztourage after the break.

Back from commercial and the match is in progress.

Balor Club (Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows) vs. the Miztourage (Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel)

Anderson with lariats for Axel, bicycle kick, pop to the second, neckbreaker denied and Curtis shoves him to the floor! Tag to Dallas, right hands on the floor, a wicked knee traps Karl against the barricade before throwing him back in the ring for the cover. Not able to end the match, Bo grabs a reverse chinlock, Machine Gun fights to his feet and Dallas takes him right back down into it.

Axel tags back in, punch to the midsection, stomps, northern lariats with alternating arms and he draws Anderson up. Off the ropes, dropkick, to the corner and a tag back to Dallas. Knees in the corner, DDT from Axel, cover only gets two and we go back to the reverse chinlock. Knee lift as Karl fights out, off the ropes and the Anderson spinning spinebuster connects!

Tags made all around, Gallows runs Curtis over with lariats, clear the apron, Stinger Splash, roundhouse kick, pumphandle powerbomb, off the ropes, big splash, tag to Anderson. Fireman’s carry, Boot o’ Doom... Bo breaks it up! Luke yanks Dallas out of the ring and lays him out with a superkick, Anderson turns around into a kick to the midsection but blocks the Perfectplex.

Up top, Karl hits the diving neckbreaker, tag made...

Balor Club win by pinfall with Magic Killer on Curtis Axel.

We cut to Elias walking backstage to send us to break.

Back from commercial we get a hype reel for tomorrow night’s episode of Mixed Match Challenge.

Elias is in the ring to sing us a song. He does his usual introduction and says he’ll give the performance of a lifetime at WrestleMania and everyone will know what the people here know in their hearts, that WWE stands for Walk With Elias. He feels good, electric... and coming to Cleveland is a huge disappointment and he’s truly embarrassed to be here tonight.

But he’s in good company, because his brother told him the same thing when he came back from Miami. As much as he doesn’t want to be here, he did write a song and it’d be a tragedy if he didn’t sing it, so he asks what he always asks and launches into it. Predictably, the song is about how much Cleveland sucks, and less predictably about how Ronda Rousey would rather have him than Kurt as a tag partner at WrestleMania.

He’s interrupted by Rhyno making his entrance, Heath Slater at his side as always.

Elias vs. Rhyno

Collar and elbow, Rhyno backs him into the corner but Elias fights back with chops. The Man-Beast with chops of his own, whip across, Rhyno comes back with a shoulder block but the Drifter is able to club him to the mat and put boots to him. Neck crank applied, trying to wrench Rhyno’s head off and hitting a mat slam when it looks like he’s about to escape.

Rhyno rolls away from an elbow drop, fires off punches and chops, whip across and Elias clubs him in the back. Lariat and a back elbow from the Man-Beast, right hands in the corner, the Drifter going punch for punch, whip across, knee up on the charge and Elias wipes out the ECW original with a lariat! Front chancery with the leg hook...

Elias wins by pinfall with Drift Away.

Slater goes to check on his pal and Elias blindsides him and hits Drift Away!

Commentary promises a look at John Cena’s comments for the Undertaker and we go to break.

Back from commercial, commentary shills for the WWE Network, pointing out that WrestleMania is part of your free trial if you’re a first-time subscriber signing up now. They run the card down as well and use that to segue into the promised talk about John Cena calling the Undertaker out and a video package on the subject.

Cena’s match against Kane will be after the break.

Back from commercial commentary informs us that we’ll get another Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins match next week, plus Angle and Rousey will face off against Hunter and Steph.

John Cena vs. Kane (No Disqualification Match)

Trading punches, Cena gets backed off and Kane hits the big slicing right to knock him down in the corner. Drawing him up, another right hand, John rallies with punches but when he comes off the ropes the Big Red Machine knocks him back down with a big boot. To the outside, smashing Cena into the barricade, back inside, off the ropes with a knee and it’s only good for two.

Reverse chinlock applied, trying to grind the 16-time world champion down but John gets to his feet and pries his hands apart, fireman’s carry but his legs give out and he collapses, letting Kane get a nearfall off it. To the outside, looking for a breather, Kane follows with right hands but Cena is able to throw a few back. Going for a whip, reversed, John takes the steel steps hard and we go to break.

Back from commercial, Cena is stumbling out by the announce table and he rams a chair into Kane’s gut. A barricade shot to the arm follows and he lays the barricade against the stage like a ramp. Kane with a right hand and he suplexes Cena into the barricade, bending it under their weight! Front chancery, dragging Cena away and back to ringside before dumping him over the wall and back to ringside.

Back in the ring, Kane undoes a turnbuckle pad but Cena sat up like the Undertaker! Duck a lariat, shoulder block, shoulder block, fall-forward Blue Thunder Driver, “You can’t see me!”, off the ropes, Five Knuckle Shuffle connects, he rams Kane into the turnbuckle he exposed, slashes his throat, goozle... JOHN CENA WITH THE CHOKESLAM! Out for plunder, John grabs a table and slides it into the ring.

He sets it up, Kane sits up, Cena turns around, kick to the gut, scoop, John blocks, fireman’s carry but the Big Red Machine tips the table over and slips away. Kane closes one set of legs and leans the table in the corner. Drawing Cena up, John throws punches but Kane has the wherewithal to turn him around and ram him through the table... NOT ENOUGH!

Kane goes out and gets another table and slides it into the ring. He sets it up at an angle to the corner and lies in wait, chokeslam denied, fireman’s carry...

John Cena wins by pinfall with an Attitude Adjustment through a table.

Cena stands and looks around, confused, before getting on the mic. He says no lightning, no bells of terror, no Undertaker? A match with no rules, anything can happen, anyone can be here... he yells out demanding the Undertaker and says he knows he’s not deaf, he’s just a coward. Night after night, city after city, sold out crowd after sold out crowd and they all chant his name.

The crowd obliges with another “Undertaker!” chant, of course. He says you don’t get to be mysterious here, silence isn’t an answer and it’s either yes or it’s no. He’s fine with no, because he’ll go to WrestleMania as a fan, but he demands Undertaker look at the energy of the chants and do SOMETHING. There’s only one week left, one week that sums up an entire career, and he can do something or he can do nothing, and if Taker does nothing, he lets Cena down, he lets Kane down, but most importantly he’s made it clear to every person that’s ever believed in him that he doesn’t care about them, but only about himself.

For the sake of all that is good in this ring, Cena hopes he sees the Undertaker next week.

Cena leaves and stops on the ramp to slash his throat with his thumb one more time.

That’s the show, folks.

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