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John Cena sold me on an Undertaker match at WrestleMania 34

I am the mark.

There hasn’t been a single moment I’ve wanted to see WWE follow through on rumors that John Cena will wrestle Undertaker at WrestleMania 34 on April 8, 2018, in New Orleans. Then, Cena showed up on Monday Night Raw this week and went to work:

”There is one individual keeping a match at WrestleMania with the Undertaker from happening, and that’s the Undertaker. So allow me to address the Undertaker himself: get over your own ego.

”You see, the difference between you and me is when I fail I get back up, I put a smile on my face, and I go to work to kick ass the next day. When you fail, you hide your head in the sand never to be seen from again because you’re so ashamed and embarrased of what people will say about you. Amazing that a symbol so strong is really so fragile. And stop hiding behind your lame excuses. You are not too old, you are not washed up, you are not broken down because if you were broken down you wouldn’t be posting workout vidoes on your wife’s Instagram. The only person stopping this match from happening is you, you self-centered, conceited, ego maniac. ... They want to see it and I’d like to see you try it. ... If I was you I know what I would do -- I would want one more match.”


Take my money.

We probably don’t appreciate John Cena enough for his ability to talk fans into the building. He really is an incredible talent, if only because he can make you forget about how spectacularly stupid his entire “Road to WrestleMania” storyline has been and even get you excited for what’s to come, despite all evidence pointing to its potential to be anything but as entertaining as Cena is already making it.

And, hey, if Biker Taker shows up to answer the challenge, that’s a bonus.

Oh yes, I am the mark.

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