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I can’t stop looking at Bobby Lashley’s ass

I’m used to Lio Rush coming out every week on Raw and telling me that Bobby Lashley looks like money and smells like money.

What I’m not used to is Lio Rush telling Bobby Lashley to bend over and show me his ass. But that’s exactly what we got this week on Raw (Nov. 5). Naturally, I have yet to recover from this ass-induced stupor.

Behold the spectacle of Bobby Lashley’s dazzling derriere:

Look at that thing! I’ve been completely mesmerized by Bobby Lashley’s ass this entire week. Can you blame me? If I could build a sports entertainer from the ground up, it would look like Bobby Lashley’s ass.

There are so many questions flooding my mind every time I stare at that picture (while of course listening to Bobby Roode’s theme music on a loop):

  • Why did it take so long for WWE to unleash that majestic cannon upon us?
  • Does it have a pulse?
  • Can Elias please sing me a song about Bobby Lashley’s ass next week?
  • How soon will I be able to purchase a Bobby Lashley Replica Ass from WWE Shop?
  • Wouldn’t the booking of Crown Jewel have gone much better if Lashley’s ass won the Best in the World trophy?
  • Can there be a Bobby Lashley ass pose-down competition every week against a different superstar? Just imagine the epic showdown whenever Kevin Owens returns to WWE.
  • Would USA Network keep the Raw overrun if WWE promised to just show Bobby’s ass for the final 15 minutes of every episode, along with Right Said Fred’s I’m Too Sexy?

I really need to stop thinking about Bobby Lashley’s ass, it’s ruining my ability to process basic information. Hopefully I’ll be able to move on now that I’ve finally gotten this all off my chest.

What do you think Cagesiders, will we be graced with more of Bobby Lashley’s ass next week on Raw?

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