Okay, the rest of this review has a theme. Whatever. Who cares. Gotta start with the Shield vs. The Dogs of War because HOLY ADSLKHLVLASBALV
Oh my...oh my...goodness. Like what do you even say about six-man matches that feature the Shield? They’re frantic, they’re physical, they’re oh so fun. I will literally never get enough of them.
And they also offer such great stories! Ever since WWE has focused the attention of these two teams on Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler, things have been brilliant. For the Shield, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins are trying so hard to pretend their way into the Shield being fine.
Spoiler: they aren’t fine.
The Shield had a backstage promo – like old times! - and Rollins mentioned that they’re unbreakable, that they don’t crack. And there was just something in Ambrose’s eyes, man. Something in his scowl. He doesn’t agree. Why would he? And after sealing the victory in Australia, he suffered the pinfall in Chicago.
And he walked off alone, without a backward glance to end the show.
Meanwhile, Braun Strowman’s growing increasingly agitated with Zigger’s presence. And while McIntyre was seemingly with Strowman at first, he stood up for his...friend? Can you call them friends?
Either way, the Dogs of War may not eat for much longer.
Look, this big feud’s got every Raw championship involved. That kinda sucks. And I wouldn’t want it to remain that way for long.
But can you complain when they’re pumping out efforts like this?
D.T.B.
Ladies and gentlemen, what’s the first rule of the women’s division?
...I mean besides staring lovingly at Stephanie McMahon as if she started the Women’s Revolution™.
That’s right! Don’t. Trust. Bellas.
In a rematch from Australia, Ronda Rousey teamed with the Bella Twins to defeat the Riott Squad. It featured a moment where Liv Morgan absolutely lost it on Brie Bella – reality era, baby! - but besides that, Rousey sealed the win in fairly ordinary fashion.
But then...it was backstabbing time. The Bellas teamed up to beat down the champion and left her lying in the ring. We never got a reason for it, either! These three flew back from Australia just days ago. Now? Sorry Rousey! That’s what friends are for in the WWE.
This was fun! I’m not sure how much I’ll enjoy what’s next, but this was pretty great.
Re-TURNS!
Baron Corbin is the most annoying, incompetent, corrupt general manager that Raw’s seen in quite a while.
Do you remember how Stephanie McMahon chewed him out just a few weeks ago for giving himself a Universal Championship match? What the hell do you think she’ll say after this stunt – especially considering its outcome?
Corbin set up a side and pony battle royal for himself with the hopes of qualifying for WWE World Cup at Crown Jewel. To do so, he picked out a Russian knock-off of Jerry Lawler, a doctor from Antarctica who looked like James Ellsworth’s older brother, and a luchador who looked alarmingly like El Generico. And some dude in gold called “The Conquistador” or whatever.
Now...I’m a wrestling fan. You’re a wrestling fan. Corbin? He must not watch much wrestling. “The Conquistador” immediately slid out of the ring and waited for Corbin to think he’d won before dropping him with some German Suplexes and an Angle Slam.
Gee, I wonder who it could be!
Angle revealed himself, which got massive cheers from the Chicago crowd. It looks like the start of a feud between these men. I wonder which PPV would work well to settle a management issue? Perhaps one in the fall that generally features teams of five...
Just spitballin’.
Meanwhile, Trish Stratus returned to hype up WWE Evolution. She didn’t get very far before Alexa Bliss came out and did her usual bait-and-switch promo style that I’m oh so tired of. Both Stratus and Bliss got in some good jabs though before Mickie James proposed a tag match at Evolution. Stratus grinned at that and said picking a partner wouldn’t be extremely difficult...
Lita!
The four brawled and it wasn’t exactly the cleanest brawl. But honestly, I was just impressed that Stratus was able to do it in heels. Lita set up for a Litasault, but Bliss ruined the moment by pulling James out of the ring.
Meanwhile meanwhile...
DX is back. After the Brothers of Destruction did what they did at Super Show Down (sheesh! There are so many shows!), Triple H and Shawn Michaels are rethinking everything.
I paired these three segments up for a reason beyond featuring returns, by the way. They’re a microcosm of several symptoms of this show right now. For starters, older wrestlers are in all three matches. That’s pretty crazy, huh? Second, they’re promoting different shows – which is crazy as well.
And third...overall, they were pretty entertaining!
I feel like it’s taken WWE a few months to figure out how do deal with their plate which is stacked to the rafters nowadays. And while I still generally dislike how much time the older folks are getting at the moment, it seems WWE is finally figuring out how to do this properly. For two weeks straight, it’s been pretty fun!
Now, I am admittedly still worried. WWE has three more weeks to go to keep my enthusiasm from waning. Tough task, that. But if they let these stories rest and really punch it home in a few weeks, I think they’ll be much more successful generating interest in Evolution and Crown Jewel than they were for Super Show Down.
...you know. Unless folks decide they’d rather not support WWE going and doing shows in Saudi Arabia. But that’s another story for another time.
The Rest
Let’s actually talk about the DX thing - Michaels was clearly angry at Undertaker. He fought nearly a decade ago with his career on the line. And when he lost, he remained retired out of respect for the Undertaker.
Apparently, that respect was never returned.
It’s a great story, honestly. I really like what they did there. It’s just...the story’s about five years too late, isn’t it? I’m with Sean – the Undertaker is clearly not the same guy anymore. Triple H and Kane have lost a step. Has Michaels fought off father time? I sincerely doubt it.
It’s a shame. This would have been incredible a few years ago.
Double Turn! -
“Someone gave the hype man a mic tonight.”
“Perfect. They didn’t give him a shirt, though.”
This interaction between Corey Graves and a deadpan Renee Young perfectly sums up how I felt about Lio Rush and Bobby Lashley on this show. Hey Lio? You need a shirt to be a face, dude. Hey Lio? You can’t be on a mic all match demanding people cheer your wrestler without repercussions.
...ohhhhhhhh.
Y’all, the last time I cheered this hard for Kevin Owens was during his NXT debut at REvolution. This double turn was a damn masterpiece. Chicago was so ready to boo Lashley, too.
Team B&B friending to victory – Balor and Bayley are like Batman and Robin if Batman and Robin were both Batman. Does that make sense? It’s what they said in their promo.
The double Batman duo took it to Jinder Mahal and Alicia Fox one more time to promote their match against Strowman and Ember Moon tomorrow. Balor also had a bit of a run in with Lashley. Will that go anywhere? Please?
Elias is God – I am ready to declare my undying love of Elias. I swear...this man has never really sniffed a championship. He’s never had many meaningful stories. And it just doesn’t matter, does it? Week after week we watch him preen from attention before obliterating the crowd with the cheapest insults he can think of. And week after week, it’s glorious.
I want Elias to write hymns to himself now.
Ember Moon def. Nia Jax – Holy shit! This match was nuts! It was like 3 minutes long and the most brutal match of the night. The crowd booed when Moon won via count out because they wanted more. Afterwards, Jax gave her best pal Moon an awkward hug.
...Evolution’s in how many weeks? I think I see where that’s going.
White Ranger Gable wins a beatdown from the Authors of Pain – What? That’s what his tights looked like.
He’s still stealing the attention from Bobby Roode and Roode’s getting more miffed by the week. After pinning Viktor with a deadlift German, the AoP came out to a raucous ovation and obliterated everyone.
I said last week that I was skeptical of how long Raw would remain entertaining. Y’all, I have to eat my words this week. I think this might have been the best Raw of 2018.
Seriously, look over the show. Every segment had storyline purpose...with the exception of Bayley, Balor, and Elias, perhaps. We got so many cool turns and returns too!
Dang. I can’t believe I’m doing this.
Grade: A
Heck yeah. I was thoroughly entertained. What about you, Cageside?