WWE SmackDown Live (July 25, 2017) – Abridged

stadiums, fireworks, then/now/whatever

here’s KO who’s MERICA again

MERICA: got a belt, I’m great, AJ sucks, open challenge next week

UNIVERSE: boo

MERICA: also Richmond sucks

UNIVERSE: BOOOOOOOOOO

suddenly AJ

MERICA: why are you here

AJ: wanna rematch

MERICA: nah not tonight

suddenly JERICHO

JERICHO: see you say that

MERICA: why are you here

JERICHO: QUIEEEEEEEEEET I’m back and I wanna rematch

AJ: k but me first

JERICHO: wait Bear did somethin happen while I was tourin

BEAR: aaaaaaand you broke the fourth wall down

JERICHO: kinda what I do

BEAR: well AJ’s feudin with Merica

JERICHO: well HE JUST MADE THE LIST

MERICA: bye

JERICHO: nah

suddenly a cool dad with money

SHANE: Jericho, AJ, Merica, triple threat, US belt, tonight

MERICA: NAAAAAAAAAAAH

NAK and BARON fight

BARON: strikes

NAK: also strikes, getting outta the ring, gonna knee you

BARON: BEEF.

NAK: strong sty-

VINCE: nah

NAK: but I’m king of it

VINCE: but nah

NAK: so I’m in peril then

BARON beat-em-ups NAK all around the ring

BARON: now rest holds

NAK: imma kickyrally

VINCE: better not be strong style

NAK: nah I promise it’s just umpteen real hard kicks and elbows and knees and ok it’s totally strong style

VINCE: too much, sic em Baron

BARON: slam pin

NAK: nah

BARON: then deep six pin

NAK: still nah

BARON: then end of d-

NAK: ALL THE KICKS AND KINSHASAAAAAAAAAA PIN

NAK wins, VINCE sulks

DASHA: hey Naomi, Nattie didn’t shake your hand at Battleground, how bout that

NAOMI: yeah not cool

NATTIE: but tarnishing and honor and such

NAOMI: nah, imma beat you at Summerslam

CARMELLA: also I have a briefcase

TAMINA/LANA fight BECKY/CHARLOTTE, offense happens, BECKY face in perils til

BECKY: tag

CHARLOTTE: WOOOOOOOOO pin

LANA: k

TAMINA: you suck

LANA: I know

VIDEO: so Randy fought Jinder in the punjabi prison then Khali was there so Jinder won

JINDER: yep, so who am I fighting at Summerslam

CENA: BRRRRRRRRight it’s obvs me, nice job at Battleground, I’m SuperCena and imma fight you at Summerslam

suddenly YES, YES, YES

DBRY: see nah even though you’re cena

BEAR: when did that become a thing

DBRY: Nak vs. Cena next week to fight Jinder at Summerslam

BEAR: NOT EVEN MAD

SHANE: hey Merica

MERICA: you’re makin me fight cause you hate me

SHANE: yep, also I care more about the Universe than you

MERICA: Universe sucks, you do too

ENGLISH: imma siiiiiiiiiiiiiiing, shut uuuuuuuuuuup

HERE’S TO THE GREATEST greatest LOVE I’VE EVER KNOOOOOOOOOWN

MIKE: hi

TYE, SAMI: can we fight now

ENGLISH: yep

TYE, SAMI: cool, gonna beat you up

ENGLISH: tag

MIKE: um

TYE, SAMI: same deal

MIKE: gettin outta the ring

SAMI: nah here’s more offense

MIKE: cool but face in peril

SAMI: them’s the magic words

SAMI face in perils til

SAMI: tag

TYE: TENS ALL ROUND, shh tag

MIKE, ENGLISH: get Tye

SAMI: helluva pin

SAMI/TYE win

NEWDAY: AWWWWWWW

USOS: nah

USOS kill NEWDAY

DASHA: hey Nak, you’re fighting Cena next week, how bout that

NAK: Cena can’t see me, imma beat Jinder at Summerslam

JERICHO, AJ, and MERICA fight for the US belt

JERICHO, AJ: Merica dies, pinapalooza

MERICA: nah, kick, Jericho dies

JERICHO: nah, dropkick

AJ: still here, beatin up Jericho

MERICA: you again

MERICA beats up AJ

JERICHO: but maybe I can

MERICA: back bump

MERICA keeps beating up AJ

AJ: calf crusher tho

JERICHO: hi, lionsault pin

AJ: nah, get out again

JERICHO: awwwww

AJ: Merica gets facekicks

JERICHO: fed up, backdrop, superpl-

MERICA: nah

AJ: 450 to Jericho

MERICA: mineminemineminepin

JERICHO: nah

AJ: styles cl-

JERICHO: walls

MERICA: nah

JERICHO: walls

AJ: cool can I help

JERICHO: nah but codebreaker pin

AJ: nah

JERICHO: offense then

MERICA: nah, all the cannonballs

finisherpalooza, everyone’s down

AJ: ropeyjump

JERICHO: enziguri

MERICA: popup powerbomb pin

JERICHO: nah

MERICA: frog splash

AJ: minemineminemineminepin

JERICHO: k

MERICA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NOT FAIR SHUT UP AJ SUCKS UNIVERSE SUCKS REMATCH NEXT WEEK

BEAR: he seems fine