Anyone but you, Dixie Carter

The mystery character in the Kurt Angle texting storyline will be revealed next Monday night on Raw in Nashville, Tennessee. We know this because he took a phone call with said character on this past week’s show and revealed that would be the case.

Just after, Dixie Carter made an appearance on the WWE 24 documentary on Angle returning to WWE. The company made a big deal about this throughout the day, promoting it with a breaking news banner on its website.

This has led to obvious speculation that perhaps it’s Dixie who will show up on Raw next week. SI.com even asked her:

“I did hear Raw will be in Nashville, which is very interesting. But I wouldn’t tell you either way.”

Dixie lives in Nashville.

Also, no.

Please, for the love of all that each and every one of you holds dear, no.

Would there be a certain measure of shock value to Dixie appearing on Raw? Sure! But this isn’t anywhere close to, say, Eric Bischoff showing up on Raw. WCW was a legitimate threat to WWE at one point. TNA, for all its successes, has always been an afterthought and Carter hardly deserving of any credit for said successes.

The big reason, though, beyond the business aspect of it, is the entertainment side. Dixie Carter is an awful character and her presence actively hurt TNA’s television product for every painful second she was a part of it.

The juice would not be worth the squeeze here.

Anyone but Dixie.

Please.