WWE SmackDown Live (June 6, 2017) - Abridged

stadiums, fireworks, then/now/whatever

here’s a cool dad with money

SHANE: here’s the womens’ MITB match peeps, they’re tagging tonight, here’s their MITB briefcase, MITB matches are tough

JOBBER: imma let you finish mansplainer but Carmella’s gonna win at MITB

CHARLOTTE: shut up, I got great genes, imma win at MITB

NATTIE: shut up, I’m the best at stuff, imma win at MITB

BECKY: shut up, I do armbars, imma win at MITB

TAMINA: shut up, imma win at MITB

suddenly blacklights

NAOMI: imma beat whoever wins at MITB

suddenly LANA

LANA: I have a dress now so imma be in the MITB match

NAOMI: you’ve never won a match

LANA: true, wanna fight

SHANE: yeah you’re not in the MITB match

LANA: very nah, imma storm out

CHARLOTTE: cool let’s tag

NATTIE: mat game strong

CHARLOTTE: me too

NATTIE: but you botched

CHARLOTTE: can’t hear you over woooooo chops

BECKY: my turn

CARMELLA: what she said

BECKY: have twirlypins

CARMELLA: wheeeeeee

BECKY: imma get outta the ring

NATTIE: and then you die

BECKY: wait why am I face in peril

NAOMI: well I’m champ

CHARLOTTE: and the division revolves around me

BECKY: fine but imma rally now, tag to Naomi

NAOMI: hot tag, have all the kicks

TAMINA: but I am very big

NAOMI: pin

CARMELLA: nah

suddenly LANA

LANA: imma take out Naomi

TAMINA: pin

NAOMI: k

TAMINA wins, pigs fly

SHANE: ooh my phone

MOJO: so I won the Andre but I never fight

SHANE: yeah lots of guys don’t

MOJO: I wanna be in the MITB match

SHANE: cool but first beat Jinder

AJ: first imma fight Dolph again

TOM: Dolph’s the favorite to win the MITB match

BEAR: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHA

BEAR: wait

BEAR: you were serious

DOLPH: didn’t we fight last week

AJ: yep

DOLPH: and didn’t I win

AJ: yep

DOLPH: but that means

AJ: yeeeeeeeeeep

AJ wins, here’s BREEZANGO doing detective things

NEWDAY: wanna help us beat the Usos

BREEZANGO: k

NEWDAY: have male rompers

BREEZE: yay

FANDANGO: ew

BEAR: I can’t abridge it, just go watch it

TOM: Cena’s on SDL on July 4th

MOJO: time to fight Jinder

SINGHS: yep here’s Jinder

JINDER: yep

MOJO: I am very hype

JINDER: ooh a rope

MOJO: you ain’t hype

SINGH: hi

MOJO: what

JINDER: beatdown

MOJO: still hype

JINDER: then eyerake and have a post and pin

MOJO: k

JINDER: imma beat Randy at MITB, USA sucks, I’m Indian, here’s some Punjabi

VIDEO: member how Shin’s an artist

UNIVERSE: nah maybe you better tell us for the umpteenth time

RENEE: hey Randy, Jinder says he’ll win at MITB, how bout that

RANDY: some old dudes talked to me so imma win at MITB

NEWDAY: let’s fight the Colons

XAVIER: have all my offense

COLON: but

E: and mine

COLON: wait

XAVIER: and even more of mine

COLONS: can you at least face in peril for a minute

XAVIER: sure I guess, hey E tag

COLONS: oh no

E: OH YEAH

XAVIER: tag, midnight hour, pin

COLON: k

suddenly USOS

USOS: we have the tag belts, Kofi’s got pigtails, E’s got big pecs, Xavier’s got weird shoes, UCE

NEWDAY: no

DASHA: hey Sami, you’re prepping for the MITB match, how bout that

SAMI: I can’t figure out Shin cause he’s swaggy so imma commentate tonight

BARON: neat

SAMI: lemme guess, you’re here to beat me up

BARON: have a facepunch and three ladders

SAMI: yawn

NAOMI: hey Shane, I wanna fight Lana at MITB

SHANE: k

NAOMI: for the title

SHANE: wait why

NAOMI: cause

SHANE: k

TJP: there will be purple ropes later

BARON: I’m on commentary

MERICA: imma fight Shin and hurt his arm

SHIN: but strong style

MERICA: very ow, here’s an apron and some beef and restholds

SHIN: boo/yay?

MERICA: boo/yay

SHIN: now strong style

MERICA: ooh your hair, superpl-

SHIN: nah

MERICA: then cannonball

SHIN: but KINSHASAAAAAAAAAAAA

MERICA: k

BARON: but end of days

SHIN: ow

BARON: yeah