WWE SmackDown Live (June 20, 2017) – Abridged

stadiums, fireworks, then/now/whatever

TAMINA, CHARLOTTE, NATTIE, BECKY: hey DBry about MITB

DBRY: imma talk to Carmella and Jobber

T, C, N, B: why

DBRY: bye

here’s CARMELLA and the women’s MITB winner

JOBBER: Carmella’s awesome

UNIVERSE: VERY NAH

CARMELLA: very yep, everyone says Jobber helped me win but who cares, women suck, Universe sucks, I’m Miss MITB

DBRY: hi Charlotte

CHARLOTTE: Carmella didn’t win cause Jobber got the case

DBRY: it was no dq

CHARLOTTE: Jobber wasn’t in the match

DBRY: but

CHARLOTTE: do your job

DBRY stands there and looks sad

NEWDAY: Usos ran away at MITB so E fights one of em

KOFI: E has a big stick

USO: k let’s fight

E: imma spank you

USO: um

E: get on the apron

USO: distraction

USO: facekick

E: ow

USO: are you in peril now

E: makes no sense but sure

USO: then have offense

E: have belly to bellys

USO: but you said

E: can’t hear you, ropebouncing

USOS: run awayyyyy

KOFI: nah, imma jump atcha

E: big ending pin

USO: k

DBRY’s on the phone with SHANE

NATTIE: hey DBry you’re really awesome and great

TAMINA: do things or imma beat up Carmella

DBRY: imma do things soon

TAMINA: k

NATTIE: great and also fantastic and thanks and bye

DASHA: hey Naomi, MITB was controversial, how bout that

NAOMI: that was dumb but imma beat whoever

LANA: but I almost won

NAOMI: imma fight you for the title next week

LANA: um thanks

TOM: hey Randy, you lost to Jinder and beat up the Singhs, how bout that

RANDY: shoulda stayed focused but Jinder’s goons beat up my dad so THIS TIME...

RANDY stares at nothing for a full ten seconds

RANDY: IT’S PERSONAL

BEAR: so sorry, had to

DOLPH: hey Shin let’s fight

SHIN

does

his

whole

long

entrance

SHIN: k, mat game strong style

DOLPH: me too

SHIN: COME OOOOOOOOON

DOLPH: nah

SHIN: have swaggy offense

DOLPH: have a post and dropkick pin

SHIN: nah

DOLPH: heel offense for days?

heel offense for days

SHIN: bout time for strong style

strong style for days

SHIN: KINSHAS-

DOLPH: famouser pin

SHIN: nah, armbar

DOLPH: facerake

REF: huh

BEAR: eyeroll

DOLPH: zig zag

SHIN: nah

DOLPH: sleeper

SHIN: very nah

DOLPH: how

JOE: you’re not me

SHIN: KINSHASAAAAAAAA pin

DOLPH: k

DBRY: hey Sami you fight Baron next week

SAMI: k

BECKY: hey Sami

SAMI: you were robbed at MITB

BECKY: I totally was DBry, do the right thing

DBRY: but it’s haaaaaaard

BECKY: but it’s your job

BEAR: what she said

MERICA: shoulda won MITB, Merica’s opportunity land, someone from Dayton come fight me

THEY DON’T WANT NONE

AJ: I want the US belt

MERICA: you’re not from Dayton

suddenly ALPHA

GABLE: just moved to Dayton

MERICA: what’s your address

GABLE gives actual Dayton address

AJ: good enough, fight him

MERICA: um you’re not DBry or Shane or Cena

GABLE: have all the offense

MERICA: gettin outta the ring

GABLE: I can wait

MERICA: k now you get outta the ring

GABLE: do I face in peril now

MERICA: this isn’t a tag match

GABLE: it’s what I do in a tag match

MERICA: fine with me

GABLE face in perils til

GABLE: bored now, have a top rope flip pin

MERICA: have the ringpost

GABLE: but

MERICA: pop up powerbomb pin

GABLE: k

AJ: still gonna fight Merica later

ZACK: hey DBry member how we have a title shot

MOJO: yep

DBRY: nah unless you beat the Usos

HYPEBROS: we are very hype

here’s DBRY to do his job

DBRY: so I made a decision about women’s MITB, here’s all the women’s MITB women

here they are and also the women’s MITB winner

DBRY: so Jobber getting the case is fine cause no dq but then Jobber handed it to Carmella which makes things TOOOOOOOTALLY different

JOBBER: you’re soft and have a hippie baby

DBRY: I will facepunch you

UNIVERSE: YES PLEASE

EVERYONE: we deserve the case more than Carmella

DBRY: yep, we’re havin another women’s MITB match next week

JOBBER: VERY NAH

BEAR: VERY YAY

CHARLOTTE: hey Becky let’s kill Carmella to celebrate

BECKY: oh yes let’s

CHARLOTTE and BECKY kill CARMELLA

SINGHS: here’s Jinder

yep, also here’s LUKE

JINDER: writers don’t have anything for you huh

LUKE: nope but have all my offense

JINDER: wait

LUKE: now imma...

RANDY: this is getting old

LUKE: ...DIVE on a Singh

JINDER: missed so have mat game and backknees

LUKE: is it like your bacne

JINDER: THAT WAS NEVER PROVEN

LUKE: whatever, imma rally

suddenly BARON

BARON: tooooooooootally gonna cash in

JINDER: really

BARON: nah

LUKE: rollup

JINDER: nah

SINGH: distraction

LUKE: ooh

JINDER: pin

LUKE: oh

suddenly RANDY

JINDER: go get him Singhs

RANDY: everyone dies

they do

RANDY: RK-

SINGHS: no

RANDY: two idiots say what

SINGHS: what

RANDY: two idiots also get RKOs

JINDER: run awayyyyyyy

BEAR: so what’d y’all think

FRIENDS OF BEAR: SHIN IS THE GREATEST THING

BEAR: yep