What a ride this week's episode of Monday Night Raw took us on, at least with the closing segment.
A good mystery angle is always fun in professional wrestling, even if the payoff sucks. But this payoff did not suck. It did not suck at all.
It was exactly what it always should have been.
Look, they aren't reinventing the wheel with some sophisticated storyline. They shouldn't try to! Getting back to basics is too often the best route on the road to entertainment and everything about Enzo Amore and Big Cass has told us this was coming sooner rather than later.
OF COURSE it was.
Cass has been right there by Enzo's side from day one, dating all the way back to their time in NXT, and what has it gotten him? They've never won tag titles on any level and it's been clear from day one, with the benefit of hindsight, that they were never going to.
Because, really, Enzo sucks.
That's his character. A witty little shit whose mouth writes checks his ass can't cash, and Cass has always had to bail him out. He's always had to play the same role, all while being held back from actually achieving anything.
And think of who Enzo Amore is! Even when you like Enzo, you kind of hate him. He's that guy. You can spend an hour with him and be as entertained as you've ever been but try a day. Try two days. Try a month.
Try years.
You'd be staging fake attacks and booting him in the head too.
And let's give Cass a ton of credit for that promo he cut in that ring when it came time for the reveal. He needed to kill it to get his singles run started and he knocked it out of the park. That his delivery was somewhat awkward worked for me, because you couldn't have your typical shouting wrestling promo here. He put a TON of emotion into his words.
That's what it sounds like when you're letting out that much pent up aggression.
Enzo also gets top marks for actually crying through his disbelief that this was happening to him. There have been better breakup angles in wrestling, most certainly, but this was executed pretty damn well for such a silly story leading up to it.
All the best to all the rest
No Samoa: I love Roman Reigns making claims like "no one can beat me one-on-one" before listing off a group of guys who have all beat him one-on-one because he's the perfect character to make said claims in the way he made them. He's lying, quite literally, because if we did ask each and every one of those guys they would all be able to tell us "yeah, I beat him" but because it's Roman Reigns and because he delivers like he does, you just sort of end up going with it like "yeah, he did beat all those guys, didn't he?" Which, yeah, but also they beat him too! It works because he's kind of a shithead but one you have to respect, no matter how much you hate it.
All Samoa: I live for Samoa Joe headbutting dudes in the neck. He's one hell of a wrestler who could always be exactly what WWE is showing him to be both here in this way better than it should have been match with Reigns and that interview hyping the Lesnar match. Joe has been handled better than NXT call up ever.
Best return: Braun Strowman making his return by backing an ambulance up and busting out of it screaming with his arms raised is the "Moment of the Year" in 2017. He is the closest we will ever come to a real live human Goro. Go watch Mortal Kombat and tell me you can't totally picture Goro screaming "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU" at Johnny Cage.
Miz Groupies: The Miz apologizing to his wife and trying to make up a mistake to her is somehow a heel move in pro wrestling, which is another way this show tickled me, but also Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas are now Miz groupies who wear bear costumes to attack Dean Ambrose. Everything said in this paragraph is true.
Drifting Balor: I like the poetic nature of Finn Balor kind of drifting on Monday Night Raw and ending up in a program with Elias Samson, who continues to get great heat just for being a shitty singer.
2K18: I couldn't care less about the WWE video game but they used it really well here. They didn't do a great job with the Seth Rollins redemption story in the Triple H feud because of his injury but using the cover of the video game as a symbol for his continued growth from the darkness that had consumed him is a great angle. Bray Wyatt, then, is a perfect foil because he can claim he'll expose Rollins as the liar he surely is. It's simple but effective. Also, Seth gave us a great moment when he actually bothered to take advantage of Wyatt's dumb entrance with a huge dive.
Titus Brand: The cruiserweights don't do a damn thing for me but Titus O'Neil hyping Akira Tozawa and Tozawa slowly coming around to it has been great fun, especially because O'Neil is such a shitty wrestler. But even that worked out well because they could get that over by having the champs, Cesaro & Sheamus, earn a nice win without burning too much creative energy while the Hardy Men reestablished themselves as top contenders.
Huh: One night after the women's Money in the Bank ladder match debacle, they gave the women all of one segment with a nothing match and the entire division showing up just to make sure they all showed up. Not a good look.
This was actually a decent show!
Grade: B-
Your turn.