My good friend and commanding officer Geno Mrosko got the internet all riled up this week when he proclaimed Lana’s new entrance theme, “Ravishing” to be the best in WWE.
Personally, I can’t get too upset. For one thing, Lana’s jam has grown on me. But mostly, the General is a passionate man - he loves and loathes deeply. He also doesn’t necessarily have the best taste in music. This is a someone who once declared Bobby Roode’s Glorious Domination “Zack Ryder level awful” (he’s since come around it).
Pretty sure he’s still adrift in a sea of grief over Eva Marie’s exit from WWE, too. So you don’t need a psychology degree to understand why he’d latch on to Lana as the ship to bring him to shore.
So, no, Geno isn’t trolling. But that doesn’t mean he’s right, either. And what I take particular issue with is his assertion no other theme is “even close” to Lana’s.
In fact, there are SO MANY examples of current entrance music I enjoy as much or more than “Ravishing”, I struggled to even come up with a response to his post.
Instead, I figured I’d try to accomplish a few things with this one. Prove the point that lots of songs are close to Mrs. Rusev’s new music, of course, but also bring up some tracks from WWE’s third brand folks might be missing out on if they don’t watch NXT or only tune in for TakeOvers.
Point is, CFO$ and WWE Music are doing a lot of good work these days. So even if “Ravishing” isn’t for you, re-direct your anger away from Mrosko and into some of these tunes...
Honorable mention: Velveteen Dream, “Velveteen”
I’m on record as being dubious about this character, but the Patrick Clark gimmick’s “what if Terence Trent D’Arby produced an Outkast song” theme has a deeply funky hook, and the chorus spelling out what-I-guess-is-the-character’s-last-name is both catchy and annoying - perfect for a heel.
5. Oney Lorcan, “Combatitive”
Maybe it’s my love for the Boston Brawler, or sing-song-y punk, but this is the aggro version of Sami Zayn’s theme. Perfect for whenever you’re in a good mood and want to celebrate by running full speed at a friend and European uppercutting him into next week.
4. Peyton Royce, “Sultry”
Pey is the kind of performer I’ll always hold up to Geno’s love of the Evas and Lanas of the world (although, to be fair, we haven’t seen the latter’s updated repertoire yet) - someone who can take advantage of the heat they generate because they actually know how to act and wrestle. And this song, which is infectious enough to get stuck in your head so it can then drive you up a wall, perfectly sells that.
3. SAnitY, “Controlled Chaos”
Probably because I’m old and I miss the 90s, but nothing outside the South Park theme evokes Les Claypool and transports me back to Lollapalooza like the bass licks in this one. It suits Eric Young’s faction’s “we’re trouble, but we might not know what we’re doing” presentation perfectly, as well. Bonus points because they’re now using it as the base under which they craft themes for the individual members, like Killian Dain’s “Beast of Belfast”.
2. Billie Kay, “Femme Fatale”
Mostly because it makes me feel like I’m hanging with Ruby Rhod and Korben Dallas at a Plavalaguna gig on Fhloston. (Jeez, I’m really showing my age here, aren’t I?)
1. Aleister Black, “Root of All Evil feat. Incendiary”
I’ve heard the knock it’s too repetitive, but I don’t buy it. It doesn’t repeat any more than a lot of other songs, and, who cares when it kicks this much ass? Once a Satanic Dutchman appears through the fog like a vampire rising from the crypt and I hear “No man is ever truly good...”, I’m too busy marking the f*** out to notice, anyway.
That’s my list of tunes that are at least close to Lana’s “Ravishing”, and only from Wednesday nights on WWE Network. I’ll let you pick from whatever shows you want as you give us yours below, Cagesiders.