WWE SmackDown Live (June 13, 2017) – Abridged

stadiums, fireworks, then/now/whatever

XAVIER: we got a jazz band entourage, Mania’s in NOLA next, gonna win the belts at MITB

suddenly USOS

USOS: WE THE ONES AND STUFF

suddenly BREEZANGO

FANDANGO: your day one is G cause gross

suddenly COLONS

COLONS: Breezango sucks, here’s some Spanish

E: shut up, let’s tag

USO: cool, wanna fight Kofi

KOFI: k

USO: PSYCH tag

COLON: boingyropes

KOFI: tag

XAVIER: offense, tag

FANDANGO: offense, tag

BREEZE: offense, tag

XAVIER: corner offense

COLON: imma try that

XAVIER: honor roll

USOS, COLONS: very nah

BREEZANGO, NEW DAY: also nah

brawl time, good guys clear the ring

USO: will someone plz face in peril

BREEZE: I volunteer as tribute

BREEZE face in perils, all the mat game happens

BREEZE: rallytag

XAVIER: WHEEEEEEEEtag

KOFI: OFF. ENSE STRONG. AND. A PIN.

USO: nah, tag

COLON: totally have a chance

KOFI: tag

XAVIER: upupdowndownpinpin

AJ: hey Shin play it cool here’s Sami

SAMI: hey guys I’m hype let’s strategize

AJ: let’s not

SAMI: THEY DON’T WANT NONE, how bout you Shin

SHIN: ...smile?

SAMI: cool imma stretch

DASHA: hey Mojo, you lost last week, how bout that

MOJO: it sucked but imma do better

suddenly ZACK

ZACK: I’m back, let’s tag more

MOJO: yay I guess

suddenly blacklights

NAOMI: so who do I fight

TA. MI. NA. TA. MI. NA.

NAOMI: really

TAMINA: I mean I pinned you last week

suddenly LANA

LANA: imma watch and totally not interfere at all

UNIVERSE: WE WANT RUSEV

VINCE: nah

TAMINA: mat gaaaaaaaame

NAOMI: offense?

TAMINA: nah I am very big, have snukabeef

NAOMI: flippykickyrally

PUPPYMONKEYBABY: puppymonkeybaby

BEAR: die you monster

NAOMI: moonsault and pin

TAMINA: k

LANA: very nah, have actual wrestling moves

UNIVERSE: WHAAAAAAAA

SINGHS: here’s Jinder

also a rug’s here

JINDER: I’m champ, imma beat Randy at MITB in front of his dad, Randy’s scared of me, here’s some Punjabi

suddenly RANDY’s music

JINDER: hey Singhs go get him

RANDY: an idiot says what

JINDER: what

RANDY: RKOOUTTANOWHERE

JINDER: oh

MERICA: hey Baron and Dolph

DOLPH: shut up

BARON: yeah shut up

MERICA: k let’s beat up the good guys tonight and not each other

DOLPH, BARON: k

RENEE: hey Randy, Jinder said things, how bout that

RANDY: imma beat Jinder at MITB

NATTIE: hey Charlotte

CHARLOTTE: yep

NATTIE: guess we’re fighting til everyone brawls cause MITB

CHARLOTTE: yep

BECKY: imma watch the Random TV til then

CARMELLA: imma watch another Random TV

JOBBER: also I’m here

insert standard NATTIE/CHARLOTTE match, CHARLOTTE wins

CHARLOTTE: k let’s brawl

nope

TOM, BYRON, JBL: the WWE Network tho

here’s BREEZANGO doing another black and white skit

FANDANGO: I got pecs, where’s Breeze

BREEZE: got beat up by two dudes with arms

FANDANGO draws stick figures

BREEZE: OMG THAT’S THEM

please go watch these skits

VIDEO: here’s a story about an adorable kid who fought liver disease and won

BEAR: yay adorable kid

DASHA: hey Lana, you’re fighting at MITB, how bout that

LANA: imma beat Naomi at MITB

DOLPH: time to tag, imma beat up Shin

MERICA: my turn

BARON: now mine

SHIN: so

BEAR: nah

SHIN: does this mean I’m

BEAR: NAH

SHIN: face in peril

BEAR: VERY NAH

SHIN: agreed, tag

AJ: all of you may now acquire some

MERICA: nah

SAMI: nah to your nah, imma...dive

RANDY: grrrrrrrrrrr

DOLPH: imma pin

AJ: nah, tag

SAMI: yay

BARON: but muh deep six pin

SHIN: but nah

DOLPH: hey Sami can you face in peril

SAMI: is the sky blue

SAMI face in perils

SAMI: imma rally, tag?

MERICA, DOLPH: nah

BARON: keep face in periling

SAMI: nah, helluva kick pin

BARON: k, wanna brawl

MERICA: cool imma get a ladder then kill Sami with it

BARON: my ladder now, you and Dolph die, imma climb

SHIN: have a top rope and KINSHASAAAAAAAAAAA, imma climb and get the case

COLE: COULD IT BE SHIN AT MITB

VINCE: eh