WWE SmackDown Live (May 16, 2017) - Abridged

stadiums, fireworks, then/now/whatever

MERICA: I’m doing the highlight reel now cause I hurt Jericho, imma beat AJ at Backlash, I speak French

suddenly AJ

AJ: hi

MERICA: why are you here

AJ: cause imma beat you at Backlash and I speak English so let’s fight

suddenly JINDER

JINDER: nah cause imma beat you tonight then imma beat Randy at Backlash, I speak Punjabi

AJ: neat, still gonna fight Merica

MERICA: nah

AJ: then imma fight Jinder

JINDER: cool, imma push you into the turnbuckle and yell

AJ: anything else

JINDER: yeah here’s some throws and angryhits

SINGHBROS: also we’re here

AJ: neat, here’s some actual offense

SINGHBROS: but we’re here

AJ: I see that

JINDER: offense and pin

AJ: nah

JINDER: then imma just do heel stuff

AJ: but what if I rally

MERICA: then imma hit your knee with my belt

AJ: ow and such

JINDER: pin

AJ: k

VIDEO: Lana’s coming soon

here’s BREEZANGO doing Law and Order

FANDANGO: everyone’s fashion sucks, especially this janitor’s

BREEZE: I’m the janitor, here’s some bad wrasslin costumes

FANDANGO: what does Day One Is H mean

BREEZE: idk but the Usos have great hair

FANDANGO: nah we’re gonna beat the Usos at Backlash

BREEZE: then our Day One will be H

BEAR: this is the best thing

RENEE: hey Randy, Jinder said some stuff, how bout that

RANDY: people hate Jinder cause he’s stupid not cause he’s Indian

VINCE: hey Breezango go start your match during commercial

BREEZANGO: why

VINCE: cause I hate you

BREEZANGO: k

COLONS: you’re fighting us, gonna beat up Breeze some

BREEZE: tag

COLONS: gonna pin Fandango

FANDANGO: nah, falcon arrow and pin

COLON: k

suddenly USOS

USOS: you like to roleplay

BREEZANGO: um

USOS: welcome to Uso jail

UNIVERSE: no thank you

USOS: READ EM THEIR RIGHTS UCE

BREEZANGO: no

here’s a cool dad with money

SHANE: SDL’s the best, let’s sign a contract

here’s NATTIE, CARMELLA, TAMINA, and a wild JOBBER

SHANE: also here’s Charlotte, Becky, and Naomi

NATTIE: they all suck, we’re gonna beat em at Backlash

the heels sign

BECKY: you all suck, we’re gonna beat you at Backlash

BECKY signs

NAOMI: yup

NAOMI signs

CHARLOTTE: yup, then imma beat Naomi

CHARLOTTE signs

JOBBER: imma let you finish but Becky’s clearly into me

BECKY: do you want to die

JOBBER: so is Charlotte

CHARLOTTE: very nah

JOBBER: so is Naomi, plus Carmella’s gonna take Naomi’s belt

NAOMI: k you die now

SHANE: or you could just fight Carmella

NAOMI: k, imma throw her into some turnbuckles and kick her some

CARMELLA: but I’m a heel so here’s some offense

NAOMI: but rear vi-

JOBBER: nah

REF: bye Jobber

JOBBER: k

NAOMI: now I can do my offense

CARMELLA: oh no I am so very scared jk have a facekick and some offense

NAOMI: can I rally now

CARMELLA: fiiiiiine

NAOMI: k then have all the kicks

TAMINA, NATTIE: look at us, we are very distracting

REF: bye Tamina and Nattie

BECKY, CHARLOTTE: let’s beat em up

NAOMI: well now I’m distracted

CARMELLA: cool, rollup and pin

NAOMI: k

VIDEO: New Day coming soon

DOLPH: Nak’s never done anything in WWE but I’ve done things in WWE so imma beat Nak at Backlash

DASHA: hey Sami, you wanna say stuff, how bout that

SAMI: imma beat Baron at Backlash

suddenly BARON

BARON: have facepunches, imma beat you at Backlash

TJP: there will be purple ropes later

BARON: k but first imma fight Randy

RANDY: RK-

BARON: no

RANDY: k then here’s some offense

BARON: I can do that too

RANDY: but what if I top rope knee you

BARON: nah, here’s some punchy kicky stuff and rest holds

RANDY: really

BARON: and here’s some more

RANDY: would you like to meet my friend the post

BARON: not really

RANDY: don’t care, also powerslam and vintage orton and RK-

BARON: no, deep six and pin

RANDY: nah but RKOOUTTANOWHERE and pin

suddenly JINDER

JINDER: hey Randy, imma beat you at Backlash

SINGHBROS: also we’re gonna beat you up

RANDY: nah

JINDER: actually yeah

RANDY: oh

JINDER: yeeeeeeeah