clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

I fought the ORANGE LIGHT OF DOOM at WrestleMania 33 and the light won

New, comments
@JulieLynneSimon

Back in January, I was fortunate enough to attend my first ever wrestling pay-per-view for the Royal Rumble. Before the show even started, the man of my dreams’ music hit (Shawn Michaels, duh) and apparently I became SO excited for every bit of wrestling that I literally did not move from my seat for the entirety of the show. I did not drink any water, I did not eat any food (aside from chocolate whiskey ice cream). Between the empty stomach, the fireworks, the lights, and the explosion of boos when that coveted number 30 spot was revealed – I ended up with a major headache and threw up in my boyfriend’s car in the parking lot of a Whataburger on the way home.

So I told myself I would have a much better experience at WrestleMania. I made sure to chug all the water and eat a proper meal of peanuts and soggy soft pretzels. Our seats were great — far away but with a pretty solid view of the ring and the screens. Once I saw AJ Styles’ fabulous hair blowing in the majestic Orlando winds, I felt this would be far superior to “Julie’s Barfy Rumble of 2017.” All was well until the ORANGE LIGHT OF DOOM appeared.

The last thing I was able to fully see was Charlotte’s entrance (which, by the way, caused me to scream “THESE ARE THE PRETTIEST FIREWORKS IN THE FUCKING WORLD”).

I’m not 100-percent sure what happened. Between the ring and the giant inflatable ring on top, there were lights that would shine onto the crowd and then lower or dim for the matches. For whatever reason, (in my section at least) two orange lights didn’t feel like following instructions. If you watch it back on the WWE Network – you can hear chants of “Turn the lights off; we can’t see” during the Raw Women’s Championship Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match. Looking around the stadium, apparently many of the sections were blinded by blue and orange lights. Eventually, one of the lights dimmed in my section – but the other one continued to blind us for the remainder of the night. My view of the second half of WrestleMania was from my boyfriend’s sunglasses as I held my hand in front of my face, peeking between my fingers, to look at the screen farthest away from us.

I fully understand that this was a live show at an outdoor venue, and not everything can run smoothly. But to have entire sections blinded for half of a show is pretty unacceptable. Really difficult to keep a crowd engaged for a seven hour show when it can’t even see. It was obvious that someone, somewhere, recognized the issue because the lights were attempting to move and dim, but to no avail.

After tweeting a picture of my view – while most people were equally as annoyed as I was and started tweeting at WWE about it - I got a few responses that really irked me:

  1. Don’t buy cheap seats! – These weren’t cheap seats. These weren’t marked as view obstructed seats. Regardless, if you’re paying to watch a show, no matter the amount, I imagine you should uh…be able to see the show.
  2. Just move! – At a sold out show, where exactly are you supposed to move entire sections of people who are unable to see? It’s not like my chair broke and I could just have an usher find me an empty seat. I imagine thousands of people couldn’t see.
  3. Watch from home! – I’m a homebody, but there is something really, really, really magical about being in a sold out stadium watching a bunch of dudes and ladies knock each other around.
  4. Stop complaining! – OH, I’M SORRY, AM I NOT ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY ABOUT SOMEONE SHINING A SPOTLIGHT IN MY FACE, YOU BUTTHOLE?

It wasn’t all negative, though. While I was unable to watch the matches – I did get to hear some great jokes from the people around me, including “this is the first time we actually cannot see John Cena” and a few variations of twisting the Greenlight lyrics. Speaking of Pitbull and Flo Rida, I was blinded for the whole thing, so that was okay! And at the end of the day, I wasn’t throwing up in a Whataburger parking lot.

Here’s to hoping for a better Survivor Series experience!

What about you, Cagesiders? Were you there? Were you blinded? Are you still seeing orange dots every time you blink?