WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (April 24, 2017) from the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri, featuring the go home show to the Payback pay-per-view (PPV) scheduled for this Sunday night in San Jose.
Advertised for tonight: Braun Strowman vs. Kalisto in a Dumpster Match, and more!
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
WWE RAW RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR APRIL 24
Stars align, stars can fall and get you into trouble. Be afraid; don't be afraid, speak the ancient wisdom of the desert. You're not as safe as far as I can tell, and I can tell. Only you can save yourself, me, I'm just here to liveblog this here pro wrestling show, folks.
The show opens with a recap of the whole Roman/Braun saga over the past two weeks, Strowman destroying Reigns, tossing Kalisto in the trash, and then breaking the ring with Big Show.
And thence into the intro video.
In the arena, Chris Jericho makes his entrance. He tells the crowd they're loud already and welcomes us to a monumental edition of the Highlight Reel. It's monumental because it's the last one ever on Raw, because when he beats his former best friend and current muttonhead for the United States Championship he's gonna head to SmackDown.
But that's okay, whether it's SmackDown, Raw, or Southpaw Regional, the fans have always supported him, the Fans of Jericho. So because this is the last Highlight Reel on Raw he needs a huge guest, a sexy beast, and that sexy beast is him, he's the Guest of Jericho.
But seriously, he's gonna get his Payback (see what he did there?) on Sunday, and he runs down a litany of the evil deeds Kevin Owens has done recently and calls him the child of the Hunchback of Notre Dame and Grumpy Cat before suggesting that the Hemorrhoid of America would be a better nickname for him. He starts the spiel to add him to the list...
Enter Miz, flanked by Maryse as always. He puts his hand up and tells the crowd to shut their mouth before saying that Raw is no longer Jericho and it hasn't been since they arrived. They enter the ring and he continues telling the crowd he can't suck because he's not from Kansas City.
Monday Night Raw is all about the It Couple, and Y2J rebuts, telling them to watch... it, couple. Miz calls him adorable and lets everyone know that the Highlight Reel has officially been canceled and will be replaced with MizTV. A MizTV graphic goes up and the ring crew swap the set while Miz talks about how this is gonna spike the ratings.
Miz kicks MizTV off with his usual spiel...
Enter Dean Ambrose. He tells Chris he has a point and Miz is a stupid idiot. And furthermore, nobody in Kansas City wants to see an episode of MizTV and he's gonna fix it right now. He signals to the ring crew and they take MizTV and set the Ambrose Asylum set up!
Dean introduces the show and welcomes his guests, Chris Jericho and (because they're here already), Miz and Maryse. The crowd boos and Ambrose gives them another shot, not wanting his guests booed, but they don't change their mind on it. Dean tells Jericho that he's pulling for him to beat Kevin Owens even though they have all their negative history together, but he believes in forgiveness.
Chris tells him he still owes him fifteen thousand dollars. Ambrose doesn't have it, bad week at the blackjack table, but he did bring him a gift. Y2J opens it somewhat reluctantly and pulls out a blazer strung with Christmas lights. He says it's real sharp and Dean introduces it as the new Jacket of Jericho, encouraging him to try it on, man.
Miz does not like fun and tells him not to, repeatedly, eventually getting a fever pitch "Yes!" chant going through his efforts, as Chris puts the jacket on. Miz says this is the kind of quality you get from a slacker Intercontinental Champion who devalues the title every day he holds it.
He says all the ungrateful superstars should be thankful every day he holds it, that he's there to rescue them from the mediocrity of Jericho and Ambrose, and they should all be giving him gifts. Dean has a gift for him... kick to the gut, Dirty Deeds! Ambrose takes his leave and Chris retrieves his list, adding Maryse to it with all the usual build.
The Hardy Boyz are walking backstage, Matt Hardy vs. Sheamus is up next, after the break.
Back from commercial in time for entrances.
Matt Hardy vs. Sheamus
Circling, collar and elbow, Matt gets down for a schoolboy pin but Sheamus evades easily. Waistlock, the Celtic Warrior with a back elbow to a side headlock, Hardy throwing elbows, shoots him off, but gets knocked down by a shoulder block. Struggling, neither man gets a hip toss, Matt with a neckbreaker into a trio of leg drops for one.
Side headlock of his own, Sheamus throwing elbows, shoots him off, catches him for a slam but Hardy slips out. Kick to the face, off the ropes, back body drop to the apron, Sheamus looking for the Beats of the Bodhran but Matt slips away. Fireman's carry, he slips out... SIDE EFFECT ON THE APRON! And on that, we go to break.
Back from commercial and Sheamus has a reverse chinlock in, keep the champion on the mat. Hardy out with body blows, right hand to the face, whip reversed, shoulder thrust, the Celtic Warrior heads outside and locks him for the Beats of the Bodhran. He ends it snapping Matt's neck across the top rope and heads up top for a diving slap to the face.
Fireman's carry, Hardy slips out and misdirects him so his shoulder eats ringpost. To the second himself, a rather broken "YES!" into a tornado DDT! Throwing headbutts, smashing Sheamus' face into the turnbuckles as a "DELETE!" chant takes off, charging lariat, running bulldog follows it up.
To the second, diving elbow... NOT ENOUGH! Calling for it, "DELETE!" fingers flying but Sheamus gets a wicked knee off that forces Matt out of the ring. Sheamus trying a dive, blocked, Twist of Fate, blocked, Finlay Roll connects and Sheamus knocks Jeff away on the outside before taking it to the ring.
Cesaro runs interference on Jeff, but Sheamus is distracted...
Matt Hardy over Sheamus by pinfall with a Twist of Fate.
Post-match, Cesaro gets in Jeff's face but Sheamus tries to calm him down and offers a handshake to Matt. Hardy hesitates, but Cesaro extends a hand as well and they eventually shake hands.
In his office, Kurt Angle is talking to somebody about tonight's Dumpster Match, saying he's gonna talk to Kalisto one more time to make sure he wants to go through with it. The call is dropped because Miz and Maryse are here to complain about the opening segment. Angle says they weren't even scheduled and Miz yells at him more.
Kurt tells him if he wants something done about it, he can do it in the ring. He can find a partner if he wants, but no matter what he's got a match against Ambrose and Jericho. Maryse yells at him in French and we head to break.
Back from commercial and Neville makes his entrance, he's got a tag team match.
Austin Aries & Jack Gallagher vs. Neville & TJ Perkins
Aries and Gallagher in hard before the bell, throwing hands and brawling. Whips, Neville and Perkins back in it but they get dumped outside and the babyfaces stand tall as we go to break.
Back from commercial and the match is finally underway, Perkins throwing a dropkick on Gallagher for two. Neville tags in and puts boots to Jack, snapmare to a reverse chinlock, he passes him to the corner and the gentleman is throwing hands. Quick tag to TJP, drop toehold takes the King into the turnbuckles, monkey flip puts Perksin in the corner, tag to Aries!
Austin in hard, reverse STO gutbuster into the backbreaker, stuff happening fast here, he claps Neville's ears, slingshot senton, back body drops the King outside, neckbreaker over the second for TJ and a suicide dive on both men! Good for two on TJP and the Last Chancery is in but Neville breaks it up.
Gallagher throwing forearms, double thrust to the gut, uppercut but he runs into a rolling solebutt from the King. More kicks, off the ropes, Jack catches him with the headbutt! Catches TJP's leg, spins him into a straight elbow, A-Double comes off the ropes...
Austin Aries & Jack Gallagher win by pinfall with a rolling elbow from Aries on TJ Perkins.
Commentary hypes up our Dumpster Match, it's up next, after the break.
Back from commercial, Braun gets on the mic and says he considers everyone in the arena nothing more than trash. So when he stuffs Kalisto in the dumpster, it's like he's stuffing each and everyone of them in there with him, especially Roman Reigns.
Backstage, Kurt Angle is giving Kalisto a pep talk and asking him one last time if he wants to go through with this. Kalisto says Braun treated him like garbage, but he's a man, he's not garbage. Lucha means to fight, and if he doesn't fight for his pride, he doesn't deserve to fight for anything.
Braun Strowman vs. Kalisto (Dumpster Match)
Kalisto circling, he throws a probing kick and immediately backs away. Braun closes, he ducks, another kick. Backing him in the corner, Kalisto slips away, upkick, but this time Strowman grabs him by the head and berates him for thinking he can dodge before throwing him to the apron.
The luchador gets a few kicks in from the apron, dropkick, swinging jawbreaker, he's putting a run together, he dives but Braun catches him and throws him across the ring with a release Gourdbuster! Corner avalanche, giant step, dragging Kalisto up by the chin, the monster points to the dumpster, hoists him up but Kalisto turns it into a guillotine and pulls Braun over the ropes!
They're struggling, but Strowman's superior strength wins the day and he suplexes Kalisto back into the ring! Running kick to the ribs, Braun choking him against the ropes after, charging back splash, dragging him back up and clubbing him down! Crossface blows, just punishing the erstwhile Samuray del Sol here before tossing him back to the apron.
Clubbing blow takes some of the fight out of Kalisto, Strowman drags him up, military press but Kalisto slips back into the ring! Hands on his head, Kalisto takes a wild chance...
Kalisto wins by dropkicking Braun Strowman into the dumpster.
Braun hits the ring and stomps Kalisto before deadlift chokeslamming him one-handed! A second, this time getting him up a little further with the other arm! A third! He throws Kalisto out of the ring like so much garbage before following and dragging him up again.
Wicked toss into the barricade, and Strowman dumps him in the dumpster and closes the lids. He wheels the dumpster up the ramp and Fit Finlay, Jamie Noble, and five-time NWA World Heavyweight Champion Adam Pearce roll up to tell him not to do whatever he had planned.
Braun backs them off with the dumpster and checks on Kalisto to make sure he's still out, before securing the top with a strap. He surveys the stage... BRAUN PUSHES THE DUMPSTER OFF THE STAGE WITH KALISTO IN IT!
The agents open the dumpster to survey the carnage and we go to break.
Back from commercial we get a recap of what just happened, because this is Monday Night Raw and we got three hours of time to fill.
Kalisto is strapped to a stretcher and being loaded onto a gurney. Kurt Angle and the agents accompany him and the EMTs to the ambulance. We get a Roman Reigns video package after this.
Bray Wyatt is in the smoky room. He asks Randy Orton if he thought he could just let this all go, if he could just forget, as hazy flashbacks of their feud play. Some wounds never truly heal, they fester, they linger, they infect your mind, and the same pain and suffering awaits Randy in his House of Horrors.
Every step he takes will be a descent into madness, every room he enters an endless nightmare, and the best part is Orton can never leave. The house will be his purgatory, an eternal prison for his mind and soul. The deepest darkest depths of hell are waiting for him, and with his pain, suffering, and agony, Wyatt will be reborn. Follow the buzzards.
As for us, we're going to break.
Back from commercial, Dana Brooke is in the ring for a match.
Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke
Collar and elbow, Fox flips her over, charging knee in the corner, arm wringer into the beautiful northern lights suplex but it's not enough to end it. Emma comes down to ringside as Alicia works a hammerlock. Dana gets her in the corner but Fox is slippy and runs into a few clotheslines. Off the ropes, cartwheel splash but Alicia has the knees up.
Scissors kick dodged, Brooke hoists her up...
Dana Brooke wins by pinfall with the fireman's carry Michinoku Driver.
Emma gets in the ring and hugs Dana, to her initial consternation and confusion. She leaves and Dana seems to assume she meant well.
Commentary shills for the Network a bit, hyping up the matches for Payback.
Samoa Joe and the Club are interviewed, they have a six-man match against Seth Rollins, Enzo, and Big Cass. Joe says his strategy is always the same-- strike first and annihilate completely. Karl Anderson says Rollins isn't the only Architect, and they've known Joe for a long time and have come up with all kinds of ways to torture that walking, talking buttnugget Enzo Amore.
Just like Kalisto, Luke Gallows adds, the only thing coming out of their mouth is garbage. Joe promises to break Seth for his crimes against HHH and Stephanie McMahon, if he makes it to Payback. Tonight he might come for the rest of his ligaments. They all Too Sweet and we head to break.
Back from commercial, Enzo & Big Cass make their entrance, they do the deal. But the Club attack before they can get into anything new! Putting the boots to Enzo in the entryway... MAGIC KILLER! Seth Rollins comes down to make the save, he and Samoa get into it, into the ring, brawling, the Club hit the ring but Cass comes in to help Seth fend them off.
Jamie Noble and Adam Pearce are back as referees check on Enzo and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Kurt Angle doesn't want to make this a handicap match, so he gives Rollins and Cass a new tag partner...
Big Cass, Finn Balor, & Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe & the Club (Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows)
Wild brawling early, referee Darrick Moore doesn't even get a chance to ring the bell at first until it settles down, Cass on Gallows. The bigger man throwing elbows in the corner, whip across, Stinger splash, fallaway slam, tag to Rollins. Off the top with a diving fist drop, arm wringer, quick tag to Balor.
Finn in with punches, a dropkick, arm wringer but Luke has a punch and tags Anderson in. Whip, sunset flip, Balor with a dropkick, Karl backs him in and Joe tags in. Finn throwing hands, Samoa gets him in the corner and lays him out with the enzuigiri before throwing jabs.
Overhead elbow, tag to Machine Gun, punches on punches, kneeling armbar applied, Balor desperate for the tag and Anderson drops him with a backbreaker for two and right back to the armbar. Tag to Gallows, body blows, the slicing right to the jaw and to the arm himself. Whip to the corner, Finn gets the boots up but charges into a side slam from Sex Ferguson.
Superkick to Cass, big elbow drop but Balor rolls away. Tags made, Rollins and Anderson in, Seth bowls him over, to the second for the blockbuster, charging forearm, off the ropes for the sling blade! Suplex, float over, Big Hoot holds him but Rollins gets a boot up and Cass knocks him over with a Cactus Boot.
Seth occupied with Joe, he passes Karl outside, suicide dive connects! Back in the ring but Samoa attacks the knee, Seth shakes him off, Finn with the save, springboard clothesline, kick to the gut, underhooks but Rollins things better of it, wristlock applied...
Big Cass, Finn Balor, & Seth Rollins win by pinfall with a ripcord knee strike from Rollins on Karl Anderson.
Miz is backstage talking with Cesaro and Sheamus, looking for a partner.
Alexa Bliss is walking backstage, and we go to break.
Back from commercial, Alexa Bliss makes her entrance.
She says every week superstars come out here and talk about who they like, who they don't like, who they wanna fight, and maybe about being a champion, and that's great. But some folks come out all bright-eyed talking about their childhood dream and sunshine and rainbows and she legitimately thought she was gonna vomit talking about that.
The crowd "What?"s her and she fends them off well before saying she came here to win, which is why she's going to beat Bayley and become the new Raw Women's Champion.
Enter Bayley. She says Alexa wasted no time in proving how good she is, but she was sitting in the back listening and she's no fool, she knows Bliss is making fun of her. And Alexa has always been the type to talk behind somebody's back (Alexa nods that that's about right), but Bayley isn't just talk.
Every day she works her butt off for her dream and to hold onto the title, because she knows everybody in the back is trying to take it from her. She's said it before, she's done it before, she'll stop at nothing and fight with all the energy in her body to walk out of her home town with the title.
Bliss is stoked to hear that Payback is in her home town, so Bayley's dad will probably be there! It gets better and better, she gets to take her title, beat her down, and humiliate her, all in front of her own father! It's gonna be great. But she feels bad for her as a poor little daddy's girl, because she's a pathetic, sheltered child.
Between the two of them, just to prove a point, she asks Bayley if she's even kissed a boy. She backs off immediately, she doesn't want to embarrass the champ and she probably knows the answer, but on Sunday the Cinderella story ends, the clock strikes midnight, she breaks the glass slipper and takes what she wants.
Enter Sasha Banks. Alexa says she gets it, part 3,000 of the Sasha/Bayley sideshow, but she has a question-- does Sasha put love letters in when she packs her lunch? Banks says she does, actually! She calls Bliss a troll doll wannabe and tells her she can't just come here like she owns the place because last she checked, the woman with the gold calls the shots and Bayley's gonna shut her up on Sunday.
But tonight, the Boss is gonna shut her up right now. Alexa tells the crowd nobody asked for their opinion and right after this she's gonna go talk to Kurt Angle and have the match canceled because Banks has become too unhinged and she doesn't feel safe being in a ring with her right now.
Sasha apologizes... AND COLD COCKS HER RIGHT IN THE FACE! THE MATCH IS AFTER THE BREAK!
Back from commercial in time for the bell to ring!
Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks
Circling and jawling, Banks right in but Bliss has the ropes. Kick to the gut, mat slam, kick to the back, giant step and stomps to the back of the head! Cover gets one, Sasha throwing hands, off the ropes she runs into a lariat and Alexa does a one-foot pin for one.
Knee drop misses, the Boss throwing hands and a dropkick, pick the leg, a wicked knee to the chest! Struggling in the corner, the rope-hung double knees get two. Bliss turns it around on her for a moment but Banks gets an arm wringer into the Bank Statement crossface.
Alexa gets the ropes and bails, referee Rod Zapata counting and she backs off up the ramp, reasoning she doesn't need to win here because she's #1 contender...
Sasha Banks wins by count-out.
Bliss and Banks jaw at each other across the ramp and Bayley comes over to try and drag Alexa into the ring! Bliss escapes halfway up the ramp but comes back out to blindside Bayley! The Boss runs to her friend's aid and Bliss scuttles backstage.
Ambrose is talking with Jericho in the locker room about the past being the past. He wants them to move on and be effective together, and he needs Chris to take him off the List. It makes him feel weird. Jericho says nobody gets taken off the list, it's in pen, and Ambrose owes him money still.
Dean tells him he can't tell the difference between the jackets and Y2J brings up the 69 thumbtacks. Ambrose says it was cool but he's sorry and he probably wouldn't do it again. Jericho's into the jacket and says it's all the rage in Paris and does the whole List schtick to take him off the List!
Ambrose gives him a pep talk and slaps his shoulder a bit too hard before leaving, at which point Chris quietly puts him back on the List, and we go to break.
Back from commercial we're informed that Enzo & Big Cass vs. the Club and a very special edition of MizTV featuring Finn Balor have been made for the Payback pre-show.
Heath Slater and Curtis Axel are interviewed about the Marine 5, or well, they're supposed to when Miz and Maryse roll up to steal the show. He calls them his colleagues and offers one of them the role of the lifetime as his tag partner. He tells them to fight it out and Axel tells Slater to do it before Heath begs off because he already has a tag partner.
Rhyno rolls up with his plate of crackers and can of EZ Cheez on command and Miz tells them they'll never work in this town again. Curtis gets in Miz's face and Maryse tells them that they're never making it in Hollywood. Rhyno offers her a cracker and she slaps the plate out of his hands!
A dude rolls up with a note for Miz, who yanks it out of his hands. He reads it and his mood brightens, saying he has an awesome tag team partner.
Curt Hawkins is not that partner, but he is in the ring asking if anyone's ready for a heaping helping of Hawkins. Each week he comes out here and a star is born. First Big Show, Finn Balor, but the Hawkins Star Factory isn't exclusive to ex-champions, no, it's an open invitation to anybody who thinks they have what it takes to get in the ring with him.
Enter Apollo Crews.
Apollo Crews vs. Curt Hawkins
Hawkins with a kick to the gut, Crews off the ropes, handspring evasion, leapfrogs, picture perfect dropkick and Apollo grabs a side headlock. Curt throws him into the ropes face-first with a back suplex lift and puts boots to him until he's backed off. Back suplex in the center of the ring, only good for two and he goes to a reverse chinlock.
Crews to his feet, Hawkins shoots him off and Apollo cracks him in the face with a sliding knee strike! Low superkick, off the ropes for a boot, duck the lariat, jumping lariat of his own into a kip-up. Jumping enzuigiri connects...
Apollo Crews wins by pinfall with the running Blue Thunder Driver.
Titus O'Neil runs into the ring to raise Apollo's hand, so this story is continuing. He takes a selfie with Crews and tells him he's on his way. Crews asks about money and it sounds good before we cut away and go to break.
Back from commercial and commentary talks about Miz finding a partner. before recapping the Dumpster Match and giving us a medical update on Kalisto, who has been taken to the local medical facility.
They recap an interview Roman Reigns gave to WWE.com before tossing to a video package about Reigns/Strowman.
Austin Aries is walking backstage pitching Kurt Angle on an idea for 205 Live tomorrow. Kurt says he'll take it under consideration and Aries gives him a banana as a parting gift. Angle rolls up on Miz asking about a tag partner and Miz tells him about the note before saying when he sees him, he'll feel real sorry for Jericho and Ambrose.
The Drifter walks by and Angle thinks he's the guy but Miz denies it. Angle wishes him luck and they argue in passing as to whether he'll need it as we go to break.
Back from commercial we get a little hype for 205 Live, which is going to have Jack Gallagher vs. Neville.
Main event entrances follow, Ambrose and Jericho, then Miz, and his mystery partner, who he plays up really hard as having a flair for the dramatics, a big star and those two are in deep, deep trouble. He directs the crowd to get out of their seats for his partner and gestures to the entrance...
No one comes out. He tries again and says his partner's a little late so they have to postpone if not cancel the match. He apologizes to the crowd and says he's gonna go to the back and see what's up...
Enter Kurt Angle. He reminds Miz of what he told him earlier, that he needed to find a tag partner. Whether he found a partner or not, whether he shows up or not, he has a match, and it starts right now! It's true, it's damn true!
Jericho starts throwing chops, backing him in the corner, whip across, double-team charging lariat, Ambrose with a forearm into the running bulldog and they both clothesline him outside. But the bell hasn't rang, so we'll get into the match after the break.
Chris Jericho & Dean Ambrose vs. ??? & the Miz
Ambrose suplexes Miz and tags Jericho in, diving slap, off the ropes, back elbow, one foot pin doesn't even get one. Vertical suplex, elbow drop, choking Miz against the ropes now, knee to the back of the head and Miz is in trouble. Tag to Dean, diving overhead elbow, he's toying with Miz like a cat, the A-Lister begging off.
Offering a handshake, Ambrose is skeptical as Miz gets madder and madder and finally slaps him in the face. Bailing, outside, hiding behind his wife he drops Dean with a boot before throwing him into the barricade! Back-first into the apron and then back in the ring, off the ropes, a boot right to the face and into a reverse chinlock.
Throwing elbows, a headbutt to escape but Miz hits the backbreaker neckbreaker combo and gets two. "YES!" fingers, Daniel Bryan chest kicks, but Ambrose ducks the final roundhouse. Pendulum lariat, both men are out, Dean crawling for the tag and he gets it!
Y2J off the ropes with a shoulder block but Miz passes him to the apron on a second, up top, diving double axehandle, off the ropes for the one-handed bulldog and he's fired up! Lionsault connects but he doesn't capitalize immediately, choosing to go for the Codebreaker and Miz throws him off. A dropkick sends the A-Lister outside and he heads up the ramp but Dean cuts him off!
Fighting to the announce table, Ambrose disassembles it and climbs up top...
BRAY IS ON THE TABLE! He punches Dean off of it and kicks him in the ribs before hooking him... SISTER ABIGAIL INTO THE LED BOARDS! Jericho runs up and throws punches but Miz and Wyatt fight him off. They throw Y2J in the ring but he has the wherewithal to hit a Codebreaker on Miz! Sister Abigail on Jericho!
Bray isn’t done, he hangs upside down in the corner before dragging Jericho into the middle of the ring and posing.
The match goes to a no-contest due to Wyatt not actually being Miz's tag partner, I guess? No finish was announced.
Sister Abigail on Miz! Follow the buzzards! That's the show, folks.