WCW Spring Stampede 2000 results, live retro blog: New blood rises

In the early spring of 2000, WCW was in a bad place. This isn’t subjective; this is fact. No longer could they be able to cover up the many mistakes of the past with record revenue, ratings, and attendance. Those have all disappeared as the WWF had not only caught up to WCW, but they would surpass and lap their competition.

Eric Bischoff was the sacrificial lamb, fired his post as WCW President despite still having time on his contract under Time-Warner. Bill Busch, Bischoff’s replacement, brought in Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara to turn around WCW’s fortunes... but their writing chased many longtime fans away despite their initiative to push younger talent. Russo was sent away just three months in, replaced by a booking committee led by Kevin Sullivan.

This decision would prove very costly, as four of WCW’s biggest workhorses soon left the company in protest (Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero, and Perry Saturn). With WCW in dire straits, the two men that were sent away in their recent past were brought back to make some magic together.

In Bischoff and Russo’s first act: they hit the reset button and vacated all the titles.

Six days before a PPV.

That PPV is the focus of this week’s live retro blog, Spring Stampede 2000, taking place April 16, 2000 from the United Center in Chicago, Illinois. 12,556 fans were in attendance with 115,000 homes watching on PPV.

The show’s hook was to crown all new champions after all the titles were stripped away. In the featured bout, Jeff Jarrett will face Diamond Dallas Page for the vacated WCW World Heavyweight Championship. There’s an eight-man tournament for the WCW United States Championship (the entire tournament is on the show), plus a four-team WCW Tag Team Championship tournament (that will take place in its entirety on this show). And because reasons, shock jock Mancow will take on Jimmy Hart.

Show time is at 7pm Eastern Saturday. That’s 6pm Central, 4pm Pacific, 2pm Hawaiian, and 11pm in Britannia. (Everywhere else, consult your local World Time Buddy.)

As always, we’ll be watching the WWE Network version of the show, so an active subscription is required for the best experience. If you don’t have one, you can get one here. I mean, it’s free for a month if you’re a new subscriber. Or you can fetch a Network subscription card at any Gamestop, 7-Eleven, or Wal-Mart if you’re not up for giving your credit card number online.

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CONFIRMED MATCHES:

• WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett
• WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND: Scott Steiner vs. The Wall
• WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND: Ernest Miller vs. Mike Awesome
• WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND: Booker T vs. Sting
• WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND: Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro
• WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL: Scott Steiner/Wall winner vs. Ernest Miller/Mike Awesome winner
• WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL: Booker T/Sting winner vs. Billy Kidman/Vampiro winner
• WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP FINAL: Semifinal winners
• WCW TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP SEMIFINAL: Team Package (Ric Flair & “The Total Package” Lex Luger) vs. The Mamalukes (Johnny the Bull & Vito)
• WCW TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP SEMIFINAL: Harlem Heat 2000 (Stevie Ray & Big T) vs. Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell
• WCW TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT FINAL: Semifinal winners
• SUICIDE 6-MAN FOR THE WCW CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea vs. Chris Candido vs. Crowbar vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Shannon Moore
• WCW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: Norman Smiley vs. Terry Funk
• Mancow vs. Jimmy Hart

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I’m Eddie. Let’s watch some retro wrestling.

Bird poop logo.

Preshow video focuses on Vince Russo beating on Ric Flair and stealing his watch and Eric Bischoff bloodying Hulk Hogan and damn near committing vehicular homicide with a Hummer.

Backstage, Billy Kidman's canoodling with Torrie Wilson with the news that Hulk Hogan's out of the hospital. Bischoff and Russo try to come up with a plan.

Opening video highlights the Nitro and Thunder before the PPV.

PYRO AND BALLYHOO! Spring Stampede. April 16, 2000 from the United Center in Chicago, Illinois. 12,556 fans in attendance (8,377 of them paid, meaning a full one-third of the audience got in for free), with 115,000 homes watching on PPV (their highest buyrate in months... and the highest they would get the rest of their existence). Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, and Mark Madden on the call. The trio talk the PPV to come. Apparently, the referees have been asked to relax the disqualification rules. Wonder how that will work out.

Match 1: Team Package defeated The Mamalukes and the Harris Brothers in a three-team match to advance in the WCW World Tag Team Championship tournament in 6:16. Vince Russo adds a second team in the Harris Brothers, but it matters not as the future Mr. Superbrawl Saturday Torture Racks Johnny the Bull to win it. Also, Ric Flair in his Thursday best.

Backstage, new WCW acquisition Mike Awesome talks his first round match in the US title tournament with Mean Gene Okerlund. Bam Bam Bigelow interrupts and is assaulted from behind by Awesome.

We get a brief video package of Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart on Q101 in Chicago with Mancow Mueller. Hart says that Muller is a Howard Stern wannabe (he's right), and a scuffle breaks out in the studio, and that leads to the forthcoming contest.

Match 2: Mancow defeated Jimmy Hart in 2:46. This match happened. And your most obscure wrestling cameo goes to... Emory Hale, Jimmy Hart's second in this match. This was probably for the Chicago folks, but I'm not sure anyone in the building cared. I know no one outside of the Chicagoland did. This match sucked. Oh, post-match, Billy Kidman jumps Hart. Hart and Hogan are known BFFs, so continuity point to WCW.

Match 3: Scott Steiner defeated The Wall via disqualification to advance in the WCW United States Championship tournament in 3:37. Low blows are fine, but chokeslams to referees through tables is a bridge too far.

Backstage, Mean Gene interviews The Cat, and Bigelow beats him down. And... he's heading to the ring. Wait... what? As Mike Aweosme makes his way in, we get a clip of his WCW debut, him taking out Kevin Nash with a crutch.

Match 4: Mike Awesome defeated Bam Bam Bigelow The Cat to advance in the WCW United States Championship tournament in 3:20. The Cat interfered and took his spot back. The Cat dances. Mike Awesome has none of this shit. Awesome Splash wins it.

Eric Bischoff is such a worrywart while Kidman, Torrie, and Russo tell Eric to relax. Vince Russo looks on Kidman and Torrie lecherously. Like really uncomfortable.

Backstage, Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell talk their match against Harlem Heat, but it seems they're looking ahead to a finals bout with Team Package.

Match 5: Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas defeated Harlem Heat 2000 to advance in the WCW World Tag Team Championship tournament in 2:47. Pittsburgh Plunge to Stevie Ray wins it for Bagwell and Douglas. Stevie Ray and Big T (the former Ahmed Johnson) fight post-match while J. Briggs (the former Clarence Mason) makes peace.

Backstage, the best member of Harlem Heat, Booker T, talks his match with Sting. Booker's all for the New Blood's mission of opportunity and the like, but he's not down with them. If he's not really down with them, he would have two words for them. Just saying.

Match 6: Sting defeated Booker T to advance in the WCW United States Championship tournament in 6:35. It took nearly an hour, but we have our first decent match of the show. Scorpion Death Drop wins it for the Stinger. The two fist bump post-match.

Six matches done in the first hour. SIX.

Backstage, Mean Gene Okerlund is with Eric Bischoff, Billy Kidman, and Torrie Wilson. Eric, professional worrier, says no rumor will rain on his parade. Kidman shows no fear of the Hogan.

Match 7: Vampiro defeated Billy Kidman to advance in the WCW United States Championship tournament in 8:24. Yup... turns out Hogan made the trip to the United Center. A very pissed off Hulk Hogan appears. He grabs Terry Taylor and wants to know where Kidman is. Taylor gives up the goods and Kidman gets killed all the way dead via powerbomb and bodyslam through table. Hogan rolls in Kidman and Vampiro gets the three. Yeah. Don't piss off Hulk Hogan, kids. Oh, and Eric Bischoff is next.

Backstage, Bischoff goes to hide and Russo says he's going out there and he's gonna take care of it. Hulk Hogan goes to look for Eric. NOBODY TOUCH HOGAN'S CAR. WHERE IS BISCHOFF? WHERE IS HE? Hogan find the door—locked, unsurprisingly, and he kicks it in. And the beating begins... until Chicago's finest swarm in. And one of them pulls a gun. On PPV. They have to cut away, of course. Hogan, declaring he'll eat Bischoff's ass alive, is hauled off in handcuffs as Terry Taylor walks by with Terry Funk.

Funk's looking for Norman Smiley. And everyone in catering rats out Norman, who's hiding in the bathroom. And that begins the hardcore title match.

Match 8: Terry Funk defeated Norman Smiley to win the WCW Hardcore Championship in 8:40. I'm of two minds on this: on one hand, eight and a half minutes? Seriously? On the other hand, this was a fun eight and a half minutes. I didn't say it was good. But come on, who doesn't love Screamin' Norman?

Match 9: Scott Steiner defeated Mike Awesome via submission to advance in the WCW United States Championship tournament in 3:13. Kevin Nash gets payback from Nitro when he nails Mike Awesome with a crutch to the back.

Backstage, Vince Russo is pissed at Dustin Rhodes for allowing Terry Funk to win the hardcore title and fires him on the spot.

Match 10: Sting defeated Vampiro via submission to advance in the WCW United States Championship tournament in 5:54. The lone representative in the Millionaires Club in the US title tournament makes it to the finals. Show of hands if you're surprised. Side nugget: this was the only storyline to carry over post-reboot. And I'm not sure why to be honest.

Backstage, Mean Gene is with DDP and his wife Kimberly, who is going to rip Jeff Jarrett apart for his wife Kimberly with a guitar.

Here's Shannon Moore and Shane Helms of 3 Count doing their theme song. For.. reasons.

Match 11: Chris Candido defeated The Artist, Crowbar, Lash LeRoux, Juventud Guerrera, and Shannon Moore to win the WCW Cruiserweight Championship at 5:10. This was a mess. Tammy Sytch pushes Artist off the top rope onto a steel chair Paisley gave him to win it for Candido, who could not have been under the 225-pound weight limit.

Backstage, Mean Gene is with the man who slaps nuts and he threatens to slap the liver spots off his face.

Match 12: Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell defeated Team Package to win the WCW World Tag Team Championship in 8:36. TIL: Tony Schiavone said "BULLSHIT". On PPV. I think this was muted on the original broadcast, but not on the Network version. Oh, and Kronik returns and double chokeslams Luger. Russo makes the count. So, if my math is correct (and it may very well not be), it took five men and crooked refereeing to beat Team Package.

Sting says if you want war New Blood, you got war.

Match 13: Scott Steiner defeated Sting via referee stoppage to win the WCW United States Championship at 5:38. Late in the bout as Sting was setting up for a Stinger Splash, Vampiro pulls Sting under the ring. When the two reemerge, Sting's a bloody mess and pretty much unconscious.

A video package of the world title tournament from the past week leads us to the MAIN EVENT.

Match 14: Jeff Jarrett defeated Diamond Dallas Page in 14:58 to win the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. For those wondering where the big RUSSO SWERVE was going to come... here you go. Kimberly nails her hubby with the guitar, opening the door for Jarrett to hit the Stroke and win Jarrett's first major world title.

EDDIE MAC'S QUICK REVIEW

Dear six pound, eight ounce baby Jesus. Here's the thing: it's not the worst show ever; far from it. But so much happens on the show in such a short period of time, you barely have time to remember it.

Say what you will about the seven-hour epic that was Wrestlemania 33, but at least everything on the show was given time to breathe. Can you imagine that show without The Undertaker's farewell after Roman Reigns won? Can you imagine that show cutting to the back five seconds after Nikki Bella said yes to John Cena's proposal?

Nothing is allowed time to breathe here, which I guess was the beauty and curse of "Crash TV". But Crash TV and 14-match PPVs don't mix, kids. Just some advice to future promoters from Uncle Eddie Mac. Would this show have benefited from a fourth hour? Probably not.

If my math's correct, only two matches had a clean finish. There were more guns pulled on the show than clean finishes. There were more curse words on the show than clean finishes. And on top of that, you had the Bischoff nWo trope combined with Russo booking. It's the worst of all worlds. There probably was a good show to be had in there somewhere, but this wasn't it. 3 out of 10 says Eddie Mac. Now if you excuse me, I have to rest my eyes on account of being all dizzy.

Bonus points if you can explain why Buff Bagwell, Shane Douglas, Scott Steiner, and Booker T were all part of the New Blood even though they were all in WCW in the early part of the 1990s.