WWE SmackDown Live comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Mar. 21, 2017) from the Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, Connecticut featuring all the latest build to the upcoming WrestleMania 33 pay-per-view (PPV) extravaganza on April 2 in Orlando.
Advertised for tonight: American Alpha defend their tag team titles against The Usos, and more!
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the SmackDown live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR MAR. 21
Like some evil bird of prey, the scaffold spreads its wings. The people build their fires and bolt their doors. The mayor is giving dinner to the officers and wives, his eldest son is learning how to fawn. The barrack block is hushed and tense, the soldiers drawing lots, but me, I'm here to liveblog this here pro wrestling show, folks.
The show opens with a recap of the AJ Styles / Shane McMahon saga.
Daniel Bryan is live backstage talking to a tech about timing issues, he wants 'em perfect. AJ Styles rolls up, decked out in WrestleMania gear and Bryan says he doesn't agree with this and if it was up to him, he'd still be fired. But Shane saw this as an opportunity to show people how to handle this situation like a man.
AJ takes this to mean Shane isn't here and Bryan says he's on his way. Styles feels a little bit of deja vu and says it felt so good last week, so he's gonna do it all over again and tell the world how it feels to beat up Shane McMahon.
David Otunga has returned to the commentary desk but Mauro Ranallo is still out, Tom Phillips tells us he's home sick.
AJ Styles makes his entrance and heads to the ring. He gets on the mic and says he's had seven days to think about what he did and he wants to tell us and Shane McMahon that he's not sorry for anything he did! We have no idea how good it felt to put his fist into Shane's face, seeing the lump swell over his eye... it made his heart swell.
Everything that Shane has put him through, well, he's glad he got to put Shane through a car window. And then what, McMahon has the audacity after he's "fired" and thrown out the building to say that AJ has a match now? Oh does he? Against who, Shane? Pff. Shane must be crazier than anybody ever thought, because Styles accepts.
He says we're all thinking why would you want to be in the ring with Shane McMahon, well it's simple. He wants to be a part of the ultimate thrill ride, WrestleMania. The question you SHOULD be asking is why Shane would want to be in the ring with him, and that's because without AJ, SmackDown plummets.
Without AJ Styles, SmackDown's social media crashes, just like Shane McMahon going through a car window! He tells Bryan that he's untouchable, he can do what he want and get rewarded for it. And we saw how much he loved welcoming Shane last week, so he's doing it again, and if we thought last week was bad, it can go from bad to... phenomenally worse.
Miz has a special never before seen episode of Total Bellas to show us later, and our headline tag match is up next, after the break.
Back from commercial, Bryan's on the phone with Shane, asking him if he feels better and warning him about AJ Styles. He says it sounds like that'll work and he'll see him later when Baron Corbin rolls up. He wants to know if Dean Ambrose accepts his challenge, and Bryan says he hasn't heard from Dean in several weeks.
Corbin's about to go hit the blackjack tables, but the American Dragon stops him and tells him he's gonna have a first-time match against Randy Orton tonight.
Mojo Rawley's best friend is then shown in the crowd, a footballman of some description.
American Alpha (Chad Gable & Jason Jordan) vs. the Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso) (WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship)
Jordan and Jimmy starting, Jason picks the leg, takedown to a wastelock to a front chancery but the Uso makes the ropes. Jey in, snap arm drag, tag to Gable and Alpha work his arm over a bit, top wristlock applied. Jimmy back in, drop toehold and Chad applied a kneeling armbar to him.
Jordan tags in, axehandle to the arm, arm wringer, tag to Gable. Back to the armbar, a takedown, arm wringer but Jimmy gets out with a forearm and throws a chop. Whip across, duck a lariat, tag to Jason. Tossing spinebuster, stereo dropkicks for both Usos! They clothesline Jimmy out of the ring and we go to break.
Back from commercial Jey grabs a reverse chinlock on Gable. Chad nearly gets out of it, so the Uso whips him hard into the turnbuckles. A few disdainful slaps to the back, another hammer whip, but the Olympian dodges the corner avalanche. Tag to Jimmy, trying to block the tag, Gable throwing rights, passes Jimmy out but Jey made the tag.
He kicks Jey off, leaps for the tag, but Jimmy yanked Jason off the apron! Jey throws Chad out the other side and Jimmy runs him over with a lariat. Referee Jason Ayers counts and when he gets to nine, Gable gets in the ring and Jimmy makes the tag.
Back suplex lift sets Chad up top, looking for a German suplex, Gable blocks so the Uso slams his face into the top of the ringpost, leaving him hung in the Tree of Woe. Charge dodged, both men are worn, tags made. Jey dives and Jordan catches him into an exploder suplex!
Shoulder thrust, belly-to-belly suplex for Jimmy, Olympic Slam for Jey nearly ends it! Electric chair, Jey slips out, nearly wins with schoolboy pin! Superkick, diving splash... GABLE KICKS OUT! Climbing the posts, Jordan knocks one down, Gable suplexes the other, electric chair, Ode to the Steiners... JIMMY BREAKS IT UP!
MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE FROM CHAD GABLE! JEY CHUCKS HIM OVER THE BARRICADE! Jordan has a shoulder thrust, action heads back towards the ring and the Usos wishbone his legs over the ropes! In the middle of the ring...
The Usos win by pinfall with a superkick from Jey Uso on Jason Jordan, winning the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship.
Cut to AJ Styles in the parking area, waiting.
Commentary promises us Corbin/Orton and John Cena vs. Fandango and we head to break.
Back from commercial we're in the lightbulb room with Luke Harper. He has seen what Sister Abigail can do, seen her turn a good man into a madman. Randy Orton opened Pandora's Box and eviscerated it, but now a new evil roams the earth, and Bray Wyatt pushed him to unspeakable bounds.
Well, next week Luke will destroy Bray.
Commentary talks about Miz and Maryse's alleged footage and throws to it. The video is titled Total Bellas Bullshit and is absolutely 100% real footage and not Maryse dressed up as both Brie and Nikki at the same time, arguing with herself. John Cena comes down, looking fit and trim and not the Miz as ever to tell Brie that rule 35 is "no singing."
Nikki asks if John has something to tell her, and he says he has a proposal. He proposes she stop breaking rule 11 and take her feet off the table. He pets her like a cat to let her know she did good. As a reward, he's going to pop the question. Which is to say, he pops a balloon labeled "the question".
Baron Corbin makes his entrance, his match is after the break.
Back from commercial we get a recap explaining Dean Ambrose's continuing absence.
Baron Corbin vs. Randy Orton
Circling, collar and elbow, Orton gets a headlock, Corbin shoots him off and levels him with a shoulder block. Drop down, leapfrog, RKO blocked and Baron heads outside. Back in the ring, circling, back to the lockup, the Lone Wolf forces the Viper in the corner and pops him one before breaking.
To the ropes, Randy with a mat slam and then the Garvin Stomp. Corbin's face eats turnbuckle and the Viper lays a few uppercuts in before climbing for mounted punches. Charging back elbow and once again, Baron heads outside. Orton comes over and the Lone Wolf throws him into the ringpost as we go to break.
Back from commercial and Orton is covering up in the middle of the ring before Baron pins him for a two count. Overhead elbow to the trapezius and he locks a half nelson neck crank in to punish the Viper. Randy to his feet, body blows get a knee in return, whip reversed, Corbin slides out and back in to clobber Orton with a lariat for a nearfall!
Choking Randy over the ropes, referee Dan Engler admonishes the Lone Wolf and he replies that he can count. Off the ropes for a big right hand that knocks Orton a bit loopy before drawing him up for another. Throws the Viper bodily into the turnbuckles but the feet are up on the charge and Baron drops from a pair of lariats.
Going for the snap scoop powerslam but Corbin has it scouted. Slide outside again, he comes in and this time the powerslam catches him! Full nelson slam connects for two, looking for the rope-hung DDT but the Lone Wolf blocks it. Tries to throw Randy into the steps but the Viper turns it around and puts Corbin into the steps and the apron in turn.
Wristlock over the ropes, kick to the chest, rope-hung DDT snaps down! Randy goes to that special place but Corbin blocks the RKO! Deep Six! NOT ENOUGH! Outside, Orton dodges a charge and Baron eats the steps full-force himself! Both men down on the mat, Dean Ambrose asks if Corbin's busy from a forklift by the stage.
Orton strikes while Corbin's attention is elsewhere...
Randy Orton wins by pinfall with an RKO.
Dean comes to the ring and accepts Corbin's challenge for WrestleMania before picking him up and planting him with Dirty Deeds!
Commentary promises us Becky Lynch vs. Carmella for later before cutting to AJ Styles, still waiting in the parking lot.
We then go to break.
Back from commercial and commentary tells us Corbin/Ambrose has been made official for WrestleMania.
Renee Young is interviewing Randy Orton backstage. He says he doesn't know if he has a reaction for Bray Wyatt, or how to get rid of him. Bathing in Sister Abigail's ashes was the last thing he expected... and the lights go all weird and flickery before going out entirely as Orton demands Bray show his face.
We pan across several sets of feet as the lights come back, Orton standing in a room full of sheep-masked people. He starts fighting but That Damn Numbers Game easily overwhelms him and they drag him back against the wall. Bray comes through with some kind of scepter and seems to bless Orton, mumbling in tongues as he taps his shoulders and head.
Wyatt says Randy changed him by exposing his one flaw, Abigail. But what he didn't know was that flaw would be his greatest strength. She's one with him now, and her power lives inside of him. By purging this one fatal flaw, he made Wyatt stronger than he could have ever imagined. Bray thanks Orton and sings a few bars for us.
(Cut to break.)
Back from commercial, Fandango makes his entrance, flanked by... Nikki Bella? Certainly not Tyler Breeze, no sir.
Fandango gets on the mic to shush us before telling Cena that he was exposed for being a lousy boyfriend earlier tonight and tells Nikki to give him a ticket. Jorts in 2017? Another ticket. And tonight, Fandango's gonna expose him as a lousy wrestler, also a ticket.
Oh, Fandango tells us it's actually Breezy Bella, I never would have guessed. Nikki comes down herself to, uh, even the odds, I guess?
Fandango vs. John Cena
Fandango waves a ticket in Cena's face and tickets him again. A few more for good measure, including one throwing to the face. Cena ducks a lariat, shoulder block, shoulder block, fall-forward Blue Thunder Driver, "You can't see me!", Five Knuckle Shuffle.
Breezy comes in, Nikki spears her out of her boots, tandem Attitude Adjustment / Rack Attack 2.0, and tandem STFs...
John Cena wins by submission with the STF.
AJ is still waiting in the parking area, we'll hear from him shortly, but Carmella/Lynch is after the break.
Back from commercial in time for entrances. Natalya is on commentary for this one.
Becky Lynch vs. Carmella
Rolling solebutt from Becky out the gates to an uppercut, flying forearm, Carmella takes a breather. Lynch gives chase, James Ellsworth gets in the middle but Becky goes around. He grabs her foot on her way back in the ring, letting Carmella get a kick in.
Natalya heads in the ring and hits Carmella with a discus lariat.
Carmella wins by disqualification.
Nattie continues beating Carmella until Mickie James comes down to beat on her and Alexa Bliss is down next as all hell breaks loose. Ellsworth takes a missile dropkick from Becky meant for Carmella and Alexa lays Mickie out with a straight right in the end, posing with the title over everyone's prone bodies.
Commentary hypes up the WWE Network by way of WrestleMania and we're promised even more new Total Bellas footage, after the break.
Back from commercial we get a Neville promo to hype 205 Live. He's eliminated everyone sent after him, and at WrestleMania, Austin Aries will suffer. But tonight he's got more urgent business with Mustafa Ali!
Onto more Total Bellas Bullshit. Cena tells Nikki he loves her over and over in different tones of voice before asking if they're rolling and asking the guy with the cue cards to move. Nikki says she loves herself too. Despite tours being against the rules, Cena's gonna give us a tour.
The living room is where Nikki and Brie solve problems like how to bury young new superstars, and Cena reminds us of rule 40, which is about using coasters, but they don't have to worry about that anymore, because they don't have friends. Next up is the TV, where they watch the Marine, which isn't very good, but that's why they can't watch the sequel, featuring the very good Miz.
Cena says he bought Nikki a Diamond... Dallas Page Yoga DVD set! Onto the kitchen, where all their meals are prepared by servants who aren't allowed on camera, rule 79. Cena offers Nikki a reward, he bought her a ring... a WWE toy ring, to scale! Now where the magic happens, the TV bedroom.
The bedroom John actually sleeps in is down the hall and Nikki sleeps upstairs, but this one is important to make their relationship legit for the cameras. Bella asks for the SmackDown Women's Championship, which violates rule 8, never ask him to advance her career while the cameras are rolling.
She starts crying but he gets on one knee and says he can cheer her up. He wants to tie the knot... of his shoelaces, but he has trouble doing the bunny ears. (Me too, John!) Cena resolves to get velcro shoes. (I personally wear boots and just kind of loop the laces through and around each other tight and fold my socks over 'em, man. No need to go to velcro.)
Cut to AJ, where Renee asks him his intentions. He says she knows exactly what he's planning and he walks up to a car coming in. Rhyno and Heath Slater get out and ask him what's up, to which he awkwardly waves them off.
In the arena, Shane McMahon makes his entrance and heads to the ring. He asks us how we're doing and says now he's looking for AJ. Cut to Styles, leaning against the hood of the car when Renee lets him know that Shane is waiting.
We go to break.
Back from commercial and Shane is still waiting in the ring. He says AJ acts like a tough guy when he's not there or his back is turned, but he's here now so Styles can prove how tough he is. If he wanted to talk man-to-man about it, or if it had naturally escalated, that would have been fine, but what he did do was blindside him.
And whatever his issue was, it just got worse. So either AJ's coming out here or Shane is heading down there. AJ's walking backstage and through Gorilla Position to the stage. He comes out microphone in hand, telling McMahon to calm down, he's coming across like a raging bull and he wants him to count to ten and calm down.
Shane has to understand where he's coming from and what he's been through. Did he go off the deep end? Yeah, he made a mistake, and honestly he's sorry. The crowd boos and AJ says not to listen to them, that Shane did him a favor. He wanted a match and Shane gave it to him, and he appreciates that.
Daniel Bryan is right, Shane isn't like the rest of the McMahons, and because of that, he's gonna come in the ring, look in his eyes, sincerely tell him he's sorry, and shake his hand. Styles steps in and Shane's on him with a flurry of punches, some of which hit!
Shane throws AJ outside but Styles takes control and puts him into the barricade with a straight suplex! AJ dismantles the announce table and brings McMahon over but Shane manages a release northern lights suplex on the floor! McMahon continues clearing the table and hits Styles with a monitor!
Clubbing blows to the shoulder, he sets AJ on the table. Back in the ring, Shane climbs the turnbuckles... DIVING ELBOW DROP THROUGH THE TABLE! Shane stands over AJ and points at the WrestleMania sign, clutching his ribs.
That's the show, folks.