WHO?
Natalie Neidhart, aka Natalya. Age 34. 5'5", 135 pounds from Calgary. Alberta, Canada, now residing in Tampa, Florida. World's first third-generation female wrestler. A decade Diva, technically (signed in January 2007, though she didn't join the main roster until a little over a year later). Total Diva. Queen of Harts. One-third of the Hart Dynasty in a past life. One-third of The Brass Ring Club in a past life. Married Tyson Kidd in 2013. Once had flatulence as a gimmick. Gah. Even I felt uncomfortable typing that. Once was a chickbuster. Once was a Diva of Doom. Probably turned more times than Big Show, and probably with even less explanation. Lover of cats. Has so many cats, one of said cats has an Instagram. No, seriously. Confirmed boyfriend stealer.
Stephanie Nicole Garcia-Colace, aka Nikki Bella. Age 33. 5'6", 125 pounds from Scottsdale, Arizona via San Diego, California. Total Diva, but these days also a Total Bella. Fearless diva. Sister-in-law of Daniel Bryan. Stepdaughter of John Laurinaitis. Once was WWE Divas Champion for 301 days in a row. Broke her neck somewhere during those 301 days. Did not win an Olympic gold medal. Returned to WWE at Summerslam as a heel for some reason, but was thankfully corrected two days later by a bootleg Nikki Bella. Dating the "face that runs the place" John Cena. Once dated Dolph Ziggler. Has a mean elbow. Probably has a stash of All Japan Pro Wrestling that she won't let anyone in on for some reason. Can probably get you a good deal on a house, since she's a qualified real estate agent. Master impersonator.
WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING?
Because at this point, it's either this or ten paces, turn, and fire.
WHAT'S AT STAKE?
Bragging rights, the right to be called the only "Queen of Smackdown", and possibly John Cena.
Probably not John Cena, but the rest is true.
HISTORY
Hey! Remember Survivor Series? Nikki Bella was chosen as the team captain for Smackdown in the women's elimination match, and Natalya was left off the squad altogether. But Natalya was going to be the good soldier as best as possible by playing coach. But coach had to get in when Nikki was taken out of the bout. Smackdown still lost, so whoever was responsible may have cost Smackdown dearly.
For nearly a month, no one admitted to carrying out the hit on Queen Nikkisawa. We all assumed Carmella did it, and no one would have blamed her really...
IT'S ME, NIKKI! -Natalya, probably.
Why? Jealously, of course. Nikki got all the fame while Natalya got nothing other than her name. Hey, Nikki gets it. It's a common complaint associated with her: Nikki's only where she is because of who's she's with and how she looks, conveniently ignoring the fact that Nikki's grown to be quite competent, while Natalya, she of the Hart family dungeon and training, will likely go down as one of the biggest busts in WWE history. Seriously: one championship in nearly a decade in the company.
So Natalya goes to the secondary attack weapon: the big plot on E! reality series Total Divas: John Cena won't put a ring on Nikki Bella, with Natalya even going so far as to say that Nikki will die alone.
That was a bridge too far.
The rivalry has been practically docile lately, with the two resorting to exchanging heavy insults at one another instead of fists.
Well... at least they tried. We're at the point where one of them will have to end up in a hospital before victory can be declared.
At least Nikki's in good spirits about it though.
SHARPSHOOTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Your occasional reminder that these two were friends once.
WHO WINS?
Considering this rivalry has seen everything short of bloodshed, a pinfall or submission may not be enough. But for purposes of this match...
WINNER
My money's on the Fearless Queen Nikkisawa sending the blasphemous Hartless Queen scurrying away.
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