WWE SmackDown results, live blog (Aug. 16, 2016): SummerSlam go home show

WWE SmackDown comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Aug. 16, 2016) from the Frank Erwin Center in Austin, Texas, featuring the go home show to the upcoming SummerSlam pay-per-view (PPV) scheduled for this Sunday night in Brooklyn.

Advertised for tonight: Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler on Miz TV, John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio, and more!

Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the SmackDown live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)

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WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR AUG. 16

Chris here. Let's do this.

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WWE Signature and we go backstage to Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon having Randy Orton sign his contract for the match against Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam. After Orton signs, Heath Slater (somehow alive) comes in and drops a fruit basket on the contract table and tries to get a contract. Slater thinks that they're in a big pickle, but Bryan says they're really not.

As for Orton, he takes a big ol' bite of an apple before the real SmackDown intro.

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After the intro, we go to the ring where The Miz and Maryse are in the ring. She introduces him. He tries to introduce MizTV, but in typical tradition, Dean Ambrose interrupts.

Ambrose reminds us that SummerSlam is only a couple days away before Dolph Ziggler interrupts. He isn't sorry for cutting Ambrose off, but Ambrose doesn't need to talk to make a point.

A staredown ensues before The Miz interrupts and reminds us that this is MizTV, and Ambrose and Ziggler are here to talk, not fight.

Miz starts by talking about how Ziggler, an afterthought six months ago, quickly rose up and is now facing Ambrose for the WWE Championship. Miz wonders what will happen after Ziggler loses at SummerSlam. Ziggler isn't worried about that; he's only worried about Sunday.

Ambrose doesn't buy a word of it. Miz tries to mockingly react, but is shut down by Ziggler.

Ziggler then goes on asking Ambrose about what he wants from ZIggler. He goes through some things before he tells Ambrose that he's right. However, after their match at SummerSlam, Ziggler will be the winner.

Ambrose asks Ziggler if he thinks that everything will be magically better if he wins the title. At the end of the day, the pressure is so much more, and the demons are still there. Ziggler can't handle pressure - so much so that he can barely handle being the start of his own movies.

Ziggler has a big chip on his shoulder, and it will be his downfall when he faces Ambrose. Ziggler is gonna get schooled, but he's gonna prove something as well: he doesn't want the title bad enough, and he's never gonna get it.

Ziggler responds by saying that Ambrose doesn't know a damn thing about him. According to Ziggler, Ambrose does know one thing: despite using everything in his arsenal, it's not gonna be enough to put Ziggler away. Ambrose will have to dig and dig for that one last move....and then SUPERKICK. ZIggler kicks Ambrose's head off, says that he is that damn good, and leaves.

I should note that Miz and Maryse approved of that segment.

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Oh, during the commercial, we actually did have a MizTV featuring Apollo Crews (or Creed according to Miz - he got powerbombed for it).

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The Usos, Hype Bros, and American Alpha vs Breezango The Ascension, and The Vaudevillains

This was a short version of your typical Teddy Long special. The faces won when American Alpha hit Grand Amplitude on Aiden English.

The Usos, Hype Bros, and American Alpha vs Breezango The Ascension, and The Vaudevillains

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Eva Marie vs Naomi

This is it, ladies and gentlemen, this is the big debut....but first we have to see Naomi come out with a Tron-esque entrance....

....or not. Traffic is impeding Eva, and she can't make it.

For shame

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Backstage, Alberto Del Rio is getting ready for his match when AJ Styles comes in to give Del Rio a pep talk about beating up John Cena. Del Rio says that he doesn't need it - after all, he's done it for a long time.

AJ then burns Del Rio by saying that Del Rio isn't even on the card while AJ has a main event-esque match

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We get some Curt Hawkins facts - I wonder who's returning soon...

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Heath Slater vs Randy Orton

Stop the presses....HEATH SLATER WINS......when Randy Orton gets himself disqualified while beating up Slater in a corner.

Heath Slater def Randy Orton by DQ

Afterward, Orton destroys Slater. After Slater is sufficiently dispatches, Orton poses on the turnbuckle before The Wyatts interrupt to say that they're here.

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Backstage, Heath Slater lies on a training table when Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan congratulate him on his victory. Slater slurs his words badly and has no idea where in the hell he is, but this doesn't stop Shane from offering up a contract. Slater thanks Shane by calling him Stephanie or something. As Slater gets ready to sluggishly sign, Shane takes the contract away, leaving Heath in bewilderment.

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Dean Ambrose vs Erick Rowan

This one happened. Ambrose won with Dirty Deeds.

Dean Ambrose def Erick Rowan

After the match, Bray Wyatt abandons Rowan after his loss.

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Becky Lynch and Carmella vs Alexa Bliss and Natalya

This one happened and went quick and.....OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG EVA MARIE SURVIVED TRAFFIC....SHE'S GONNA GET INVOLVED IN THE MATCH!!!!!....wait a minute, Naomi comes out in her Tron outfit and chases Eva into the ring, but NATALYA AIN'T GONNA TAKE ANY OF THAT AND THROWS NAOMI OUT OF THE RING.

After that little moment, Becky locks Natalya in the Dis-arm-her to win.

Bexmella def Alexa Bliss and Natalya

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Backstage, Baron Corbin beats up Kalisto again

After the Brock Lensar/Randy Orton video package, Eva Marie, Natalya, and Alexa Bliss vs Becky Lynch, Naomi, and Carmella is made official for SummerSlam.

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John Cena vs Alberto Del Rio

AJ Styles is on commentary for this.

Slow affair that is reminiscent of a lot of John Cena matches. ADR gets a lot of offense in, but is put over with an AA to lose.

John Cena def Alberto Del Rio

Afterward, AJ hits Cena with a Phenomenal Forearm. He then says that he's sick of hearing that the future goes through Cena. After Sunday, AJ will be the face that runs the place.

Cena's time is up. AJ's time is now

But it's not over. AJ goes for a Styles Clash, but Cena stops it and hits an AA. Cena then clears the announce table, throws AJ into the steel stairs, drags said stairs to the announce table, and AA through the table.